J
Jordache
Guest
I'd like to crawl in a hole and cry right now, but I won't. Instead I'll get on with my day and cry my way through it. Tears of grief, sorrow, purging, and letting go. I am very blessed to have the boyfriend I have. He is very good to me. He is very understanding and patient. My divorce has been final a while and while I've felt a little sad, I've have not been overwhelmed by it. I really do wish the best for my ex and I know that I am not in that plan. That is fine by me. However, as I see him slowly getting better, it takes a jab at my self-esteem. In my weakened flesh, I wonder why I was not good enough for him to seek help and save our marriage. Part of me thinks that I've only seen a few FB posts with a smiley face and that he could very well be keeping up his front. While I hope he is truly getting better, it still hits me hard to think that something else was his motivation for getting better. I know it's selfish... And it's definately reminiscent of how I felt about my father in some ways... So I'm back to declare some truth.
I am not defined by how anyone treats me... Good or bad. I am defined only by the God who created me; who knows me inside and out; the good, the bad, and the ugly; and sees me holy. He loves me and that's all that counts.
I am not defined by how anyone treats me... Good or bad. I am defined only by the God who created me; who knows me inside and out; the good, the bad, and the ugly; and sees me holy. He loves me and that's all that counts.
