Our unsaved daughter is applying to be divorced - sad!

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MyrtleTrees

MyrtleTrees

Junior Member
#1
Sep 5, 2014
805
322
63
#1
Hi! We and our married daughter's family live in Traverse City, Michigan. Our unsaved daughter, Marie, has recently applied to be divorced from her wonderful, Christian husband. How sad! We are very concerned. Does any of you have any experience as to what helps a parent to gain the best custody rights over their children? They have 2 children - ages 7 and 8. She is a very wealthy house cleaner, with others working for her too. He doesn't earn as much as she does. He has a home with mortgage on it. It is an old house, with old paint on the walks of the living room, that has some lead in it. Will that affect custody rights? He has a clean home, but lots of clutter. Willl that affect the custody rights? She has a lawyer, but he couldn't find an available one till very recently. Some other faults our daughter has - will they affect custody rights? She uses recreational marijuana, and also has been immoral with a few different men so far.
 
A

Avery

Guest
#2
#2
MyrtleTrees said:
Hi! We and our married daughter's family live in Traverse City, Michigan. Our unsaved daughter, Marie, has recently applied to be divorced from her wonderful, Christian husband. How sad! We are very concerned. Does any of you have any experience as to what helps a parent to gain the best custody rights over their children? They have 2 children - ages 7 and 8. She is a very wealthy house cleaner, with others working for her too. He doesn't earn as much as she does. He has a home with mortgage on it. It is an old house, with old paint on the walks of the living room, that has some lead in it. Will that affect custody rights? He has a clean home, but lots of clutter. Willl that affect the custody rights? She has a lawyer, but he couldn't find an available one till very recently. Some other faults our daughter has - will they affect custody rights? She uses recreational marijuana, and also has been immoral with a few different men so far.
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Hi Myrtle Trees

I would be best to seek legal advice. Having a home with a mortgage on it is not a crime. Just paint over the paint in the LR if it has lead in it. Never disturb paint with lead in it; just paint over it.

Very sorry to read this is happening in your family
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#3
Feb 21, 2014
70,924
9,673
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#3
The house needs to be up to safety code. As far as clutter, as long as it's not hoarder-level and dangerous, that shouldn't affect custody rights. And doubtful that any judge would let your daughter have full custody if she's smoking pot and messing around with other men, because it doesn't make a good impression for the kids to see that and be around it.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#4
#4
blue_ladybug said:
The house needs to be up to safety code. As far as clutter, as long as it's not hoarder-level and dangerous, that shouldn't affect custody rights. And doubtful that any judge would let your daughter have full custody if she's smoking pot and messing around with other men, because it doesn't make a good impression for the kids to see that and be around it.
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Shout out to Lady Blue! Glad to see you again, hope you are well! <3 And I agree, follow her good advice. Sad to see a family break up though.
 
Mitaze1075

Mitaze1075

Active member
#6
Mar 8, 2019
68
25
28
#6
Well hopefully she’s not trying to get full custody. Courts tend to favor women over men when it comes to family court. Our culture in general often seems to lean that way when it comes to kids but most likely he will still get some custody. If she’s not moving out of town, or their school district , and neither is he then it does better. But if he moved outside of the city limits, and she’s still living within the same city limits and that’s where the kids school and ect is, there is a better chance she will get them most of the time. But it always depends on the judge and how combative they are in the process of getting divorced. Some goes well and some are battle zones. Almost all divorces are caused by both and not just one. The ability to work from home also plays a role. If the mother is complaining about the paint, then DHR will look into it. But it’s easy to DIY it.
 
A

arthurfleminger

Well-known member
#7
Aug 18, 2021
1,405
780
113
#7
MyrtleTrees said:
Hi! We and our married daughter's family live in Traverse City, Michigan. Our unsaved daughter, Marie, has recently applied to be divorced from her wonderful, Christian husband. How sad! We are very concerned. Does any of you have any experience as to what helps a parent to gain the best custody rights over their children? They have 2 children - ages 7 and 8. She is a very wealthy house cleaner, with others working for her too. He doesn't earn as much as she does. He has a home with mortgage on it. It is an old house, with old paint on the walks of the living room, that has some lead in it. Will that affect custody rights? He has a clean home, but lots of clutter. Willl that affect the custody rights? She has a lawyer, but he couldn't find an available one till very recently. Some other faults our daughter has - will they affect custody rights? She uses recreational marijuana, and also has been immoral with a few different men so far.
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Divorce is always unfortunate, especially when it concerns the break up of a family with childres. From your posts, it looks almost 100% that the mother will get custody of the children, with all 'tax rights' associated with them. That's the way the courts generally see such situations..

The really bad news is if the husband and wife now hate each other, they will try and turn the kids against the 'other parent'. And, I've seen it twice, if both parents are adamant about parental custody and hire lawyers, they will spend thousands of dollars. And after spending all their money, there is generally no resolution to the child custody. And, of course, the lawyers/courts end up with all the money.

A bad situation all the way around. Unfortunately, custody battles lead to disharmony, estrangement, and hatred with all those involved.
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#8
#8
MyrtleTrees said:
Hi! We and our married daughter's family live in Traverse City, Michigan. Our unsaved daughter, Marie, has recently applied to be divorced from her wonderful, Christian husband. How sad! We are very concerned. Does any of you have any experience as to what helps a parent to gain the best custody rights over their children? They have 2 children - ages 7 and 8. She is a very wealthy house cleaner, with others working for her too. He doesn't earn as much as she does. He has a home with mortgage on it. It is an old house, with old paint on the walks of the living room, that has some lead in it. Will that affect custody rights? He has a clean home, but lots of clutter. Willl that affect the custody rights? She has a lawyer, but he couldn't find an available one till very recently. Some other faults our daughter has - will they affect custody rights? She uses recreational marijuana, and also has been immoral with a few different men so far.
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In what why have you reached out to her? Is there any way that the marriage could be saved? Whatever the legal situation is, you need to also be careful of the spiritual situation.
 
blue_ladybug

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
#9
Feb 21, 2014
70,924
9,673
113
#9
kaylagrl said:
In what why have you reached out to her? Is there any way that the marriage could be saved? Whatever the legal situation is, you need to also be careful of the spiritual situation.
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An even better question is, why did the Christian husband marry an unsaved woman?? Surely he knows what the bible says about being unequally yoked to an unbeliever.
 
Mii

Mii

Well-known member
#10
Mar 23, 2019
2,082
1,330
113
#10
It's recreationally legal in Michigan and I haven't ever thought about how that would change things. I expect it would still have some effect but it's a lot more difficult to pinpoint abuse than with alcohol.

prayer is with you.
 
SomeDisciple

SomeDisciple

Well-known member
#11
Jul 4, 2021
2,373
1,077
113
#11
Who in their right mind would want to help this woman get custody? I'd treat an unfaithful woman that divorced her husband and tried taking custody of the children like the kidnapper that she is... Unless we are missing some key information, this is utterly disgraceful on her part, and unless she was willing to fix things, I'd rather her relinquish her parental rights entirely to someone who actually wants to be a wife and mother.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#12
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,188
113
#12
yea not sure we can help you with that

mother using drugs wants custody of her children...most people with common sense wouldnt. Only a crooked lawyer you pay heaps of money to could help you win that one.
 
J

justahumanbeing

Well-known member
#13
Mar 25, 2020
473
265
63
#13
I think the father would be a better choice for the kids since he is rooted in good values. There isn't much you can do here. My brother is an atheist. It does affect us when a family member is like that. My love, prayers and support to your family at such a difficult time. God is there for us always.
 
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