Patiencely Single

[surprisingrose]

PATIENCELY SINGLE:
Patiencely single, these two words do not seem to work together very well, especially it seems for ladies; of which I am one, so, I can speak from lots of experience here. My journey to singledom began after a long drawn out divorce; which I did kicking and screaming (well, not really screaming). I totally despised becoming single. At my age we were supposed to be looking forward to the empty nest and to start settling down for the golden years, but here I was single again. I hated being thrown into the single world. I am cut out for marriage; not single. I had no clue how to be single. It seemed to me at first a silly world of childish games. Of course I had a bit of maturing to do as well. I will never forget a precious prayer between the Lord an I, it went like this, "Lord, surprise me with who will be my husband. Will you heal my marriage and restore it again or will you send someone new into my life?" I felt so noble praying that prayer and it was a sweet moment between the Lord and I. Well, then 3 months later- the Lord and I had another talk, but this time it went like this, "Lord, forget surprises they are highly overrated just throw the dag-burn man into my lap!" I can look back now at that prayer as a fond, funny moment. but patience was apparently going to be a long draw out ordeal as well.
Through the divorce I cried enough tears to fill a camels hump several times, so, I decided at one point that I was not going to spend my single years crying over ever disappoint or rejection.... I was going to laugh my way through the single year and that worked for a while, but then real life kicked in and I kept getting older with still no fellar to hang my arm on. Then all the over self evaluating began, and the past just wasn't leaving as fast as I'd liked.... (to be continued)

 

[surprisingrose]

(continued...) Patiencely Single...

What was a woman to do with all this time, too many thoughts; am I skinny enough; did I smile too much or not enough or was there food stuck between my teeth; did that vulurable look mean he's interested or was my showing of interest making him uncomfortable? The list went on an on. All the while frustrating all men who dared to look at me and frustrating myself even more... awww...
Yes this was going to take time more time then I had planned. I figured with what a wonderful, godly woman I was-a year at tops- till I would be on my way to marriage.... 8 and a 1/2 years later..... still s-i-n-g-l-e, and sitll feeling very clueless. Lord what's it gonna take? Nope, can't wear low cut tops and short shorts... can't go to the bars...can"t give men the come hither look; Soft, naturally, curly brown hair with a tint of red (dyed), red lipstick, greenish-blue, sparkling eyes, medium built... a slanted, sexy smile...was just gonna have to do. Opps I said sexy... is sexy okay, Lord? (rofl... will have to continue this late... to be continued)

 

[rachelsedge]

That's great that the Lord is working with you and revealing to you patience in this time of your life.

For me, I guess I am patiently waiting (well, sometimes not so patient) but at the same time, I know I am more than my singleness. And when I have a boyfriend/fiance/husband, I will be more than a girlfriend/fiance/wife. I don't want to spend my time being single simply as a form of "waiting to not be single". I want to embrace all that God has for me during this time, all that He has for me to learn, and grow from. I still desire to be a wife someday, but I don't want to just be waiting around until it happens.

That probably sounded less encouraging than it was supposed to be...I guess my point is that it's great you are patient and that the Lord is growing you, but know that you are precious in His sight no matter what, and we shouldn't be anxious about it.

 

[surprisingrose]

Rachelsedge,
Thanks for the sweet word. Yes, we are daughters of the King first of all. Yes, doing much better about the patience. Thought I'd write a little here and there till I get to my conclusion, but thought it would be fun to show the funny, but frustrating side of single, till I get to showing where I am now. It's great to hear you know you are more than just single. That can be very lonely and empty. You're a sweety, I pray the Lord sends you a godly gentleman that knocks your socks off one day!

 

[surprisingrose]

(continued.....)
I finally settled, looks wasn't the issue; had plenty of lookers but still no takers. Next came the on-line dating service period that well-meaning friends talked me into. They didn't have to twist my arm too hard. I will never forget the man named Don, my first amazing prospect. In his photo he was tall, blonde, blue eyed and very handsome. He had a beautiful ranch style home, he had a very good profession and had visited a church not far from my home. Wow, what a prize! We started e-mailing each other and things were looking pretty good. Then came silence after he asked for my picture. All of a sudden looks became a very big issue. He doesn't like my looks! Did I say something wrong? Then I, the patience person that I was, decided to e-mail him to see what was going on, and got an e-mail back confessing that he was also e-mailing another lady. So, now I felt I had to measure up to the other lady. In the mean time the Lord was trying to get across to me about waiting and praying through a teacher of Joyce Myrers about the mateing rituals of the eagle. The female eagle drops sticks in varying sizes; getting bigger with each stick dropped and the male was to swoop down and catch the stick and bring it back to her. This continues on till finally he either drops a stick or he catches the biggest stick she dropped. If he drops and stick he is out of the running to be her mate; if he catches her biggest stick then he has passed the test. So, dating is a test which is not always about me. Don had dropped a big stick. My first disappointment, but it was working an area of patience in me that I didn't even realize at the time.... (to be continued)

 

[surprisingrose]

Continued... Patiencely Single

The dating experience.... the first day, a man I met on a single sight, it was just a first meet at Macdonald's. He was twenty years older than his picture... the evening consisted of him bragging about all the strife he had caused in church and about how he had threatened to kill different people, and was hoping for a kiss at the end of the date and wanted me to got cat fishing with him in a need by city.... needless to say the answer was no. I drove a different way home so he wouldn't know where I lived. The second date.... another christian sight man that lived an hour away, drove a whole hour to take me out to Taco Bell.... don't even remember what the conversation consisted of except at the end of the date again fishing for a kiss in the parking lot.... the workers look suspicously at him, could tell I wasn't into his advancements and encouraging them, but he didn't get the hint and was hinting he wanted to come spend the rest of the day at my house and wanted another date where I'd fix him a fried chicken dinner and spend the day again. He was a persistant fellar.... he called one day telling me he was going to be in my area about 5 minutes away and wanted to stop in for dinner. Third date, (kind of date) I agreed to just go out as friends and think about it.... he did take me out to a nice resturant... one that I liked a lot.... I felt like I was pulling teeth and in two different universes.... while we enjoyed our wonderful meal there was a lot of teens there dressed up in low cut, short prom dresses... everything one walked past our table he couldn't help but stare at them in a very manly way.... at the end of the date again fishing for a kiss... what's with wanting a kiss on the first date.... he asked for another date... I thought ahh.. maybe just a friends... give to poor lonely man some company... decided on the way home... nahhh.... and call him to let him know... No! Fourth date.... another single site man.... he seemed wonderful... a christian.. knew the word.... was a good communicator.... date went great... but found out he was messed up financially... Well, some men are just going through a rough spell... give him another chance... 2nd date with fourth man.... dinner an a movie treated royally..... then went home to talk and watch a movie or something.... he was too much in a hurry.... the date ended with me crying..... an a e-mail in the morning saying sorry no more dating.... Lord, this is dating? I think I'll just take the one..... when he comes along... tell me who he is... then I'll date. Yes, the right man is worth the wait.... hang in there ladies . Gentlemen as well. God has someone normal, lol. (to be continued...)