I am getting upset because i dont understand my mom was protected of this and I was not I begged God help me not be afraid to read those verses on the unpardonable sin and i dealt with hell and i know some got scared but didnt go through this torment why am i dealing with this i came to Jesus the truth and the light not deal with bad thoughts against Him thats not fairrrrrrrrrrrrr

((( I dont want to hear what that stupud unpardoable sin is i just want this stupid fear to go away.

((
I dealt with the unpardonable sin verse during my conversion. I was terrified. Something that I hope will give you some comfort is that if you are SCARED you have committed the sin, you haven't. Lost people don't fear God, and they don't fear the consequences of their sin and blasphemy.
In my understanding, the unpardonable sin is sin unto death. Denying Christ to the point of death and never having faith or a conversion. Another interpretation is that it's impossible in this day and age to commit that sin. In the context of when Jesus was speaking of the sin, you had the unbelieving Jews denying he was doing his works by the power of the Holy Spirit even though they were eyewitnesses.
The former makes more since to me since unbelief is the only thing that gets you sent to hell. And it has to be unbelief unto death. You are quite obviously a believer struggling with and hating your sins. This is a hallmark of a converted Christian.
There has been a lot of good advice here in dealing with your fear and thoughts.
Maxwell had some great additions to the advice already given.
Unfortunately, no one can tell you that this time of struggle will be easy. It won't.
You may have to give up some things to help rid yourself of the thoughts. Immersion in the Word is a definite comfort. The thoughts will be there while you try and read and study, while you pray, but they get quieter and quieter over time. It's a time of refinement in my opinion.
Instead of listening to secular music, listen to Christian music. Instead of watching a bad movie, watch a sermon. Pray, read your bible, fellowship, give up anything that could be impeding your walk with God.
I had to do all of this before I found comfort.
Again, if it is causing crippling fear and anxiety, depression, and so on, you should look for a counselor. Maybe your pastor and even a doctor.