Aw, bless your heart!
God hears you, sweetie - HE SO does!
Let me tell you about a vision I had when I was depressed in my Junior year of College. I was deeply in debt, i had a wife and child, I was 2 weeks from eviction and my car broke down. I was hosed.
I cried out to God saying, "Why have you allowed all of this to happen? I'm going to lose everything in a very short while and i do not know why you aren't hearing me when I pray for help!"
I immediately saw in the sky a vision of a man working in a blacksmith's shop. He held a dull piece of metal and thrust it into the fire of the forge. The metal began to scream like a person in pain and agony. The blacksmith then put it on the anvil and started beating it. The metal again screamed in agony with each hit. The blacksmith then thrust the metal into the water and the metal began to make sounds as if drowning and choking. God then said in a soft voice, "
I am doing this to you."
Three times this scene played out in front of me, and each time He said, "
I am doing this to you!" I was still seeing the vision and tears were streaming down my face. I felt like God was being very unfair and I cried out to Him, "WHY!?"
The vision ended with the blacksmith holding a brilliant, beautiful, sharp sword in his hand. God replied, "
Because when I am done with you, you will be a strong sharp instrument in MY hand!"
The vision faded and I felt His love inside of me. He is still hammering away at times, but now I realize that I am being strengthened and sharpened.
It is the same for everyone He loves.
James 1:2-4 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have [its] perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
And if the depression lingers, try some St.John's Wort tea!
Also, if you have any questions - you can ask me if you want. I also have an article written for people with specific doubts - it's the link in my signature.
YHVH Bless you!
Shalom
