I do appreciate your prayers. The evil one feeds on keeping me under torment. Being in a marriage with no love shown, no affection, no compassion, no desire for me at all, is taking a toll on me. My wife and I are both Christians, and both love the Lord. I am really struggling right now, and having a hard time staying away from the temptations of the evil world we live in. I am ashamed and honestly disgusted by my own actions. I am struggling and burdened by the desires of the flesh. I know better, I know the wages of sins are death, I know that I have greived the Holy Spirit of God by my falling, and I cant seem to finally once and for all pull this thorn from my flesh. I do love the Lord with all that I am, and I dont blame my wife,(I have disappointed and broken her heart in so many ways over the years) , I have never and would never cheat on her physically, but, mentally, according to the Word of God by lusting over other women , I have. I have since a very young age had an addiction to pornography. I pray for forgiveness daily, and thank God for His unfailing mercy that is sufficient for me, but I need prayer more now than ever to stay away from this evil snare. I am so disappointed in myself for being the dog returning to his vomit. I know alot of people, both men and women, struggle with the sin of pornography, but, I am so tired of failing in such a major way. Knowing what I know, I shouldnt be having this much trouble letting go of this. I see this site as a place that I can confess my sin and recieve prayer from other believers, and I thank God for that as well. God help me to win this battle and once and for all lay this sin at the foot of the cross of Jesus. I deperately want to live a clean and holy life as a living testimony of the power of Christ, as there are a few that look up to me for spiritual guidance and as an example, and I just feel like a fake and a hipocrite. I want to make my life a living form of worship to our Lord, and with this bondage, I cant. Thank you all for your prayers and the way you are all faithful in loving Christ through others.