Whenever I feel this 'weirdness' I focus on purging the thoughts that the wicked world tries to 'convince' me of. And this can be done by focusing on God's word given to you, although it would otherwise seem obvious if it weren't for the darkness trying to obscure it for nonsense, through His Word. You're not "far away" from Him (Ro 10:8). Don't let Satan steal it from you (Mk 4:15) by asking you, "Are you good enough? Are you doing enough?"
You wrote that you "just want to get closer to God as usual," so, I don't think I'd be stretching it to think that God wants you to focus all your effort on coming to the realization of exactly how close you
are to Him," without doing anything or going anywhere else. I've concluded this considering the circumstances that you described as your current situation.
Ps 62: 1-4
Ps 62: 5-8
Ps 62: 9-12
And the 'works of vs 12 is cited in Rom 2:6 following the context of Rom 2: 1-4 and summarized in Ro 2:5 with a fuller summary in Ro 2: 7-8 and that is reiterated in Rom 2: 9-11.
This 'weirdness' you feel, iyam, is the wickeness of the unfaithful world's attempt to obscure your faith that, if it can't 'un'convince you that God is, it will then try to 'un'convince you that He is with you. And I think they do this by that which no one has any qualification in doing, judging.
And that is what Rom 2: 12-13 addresses. And Rom 2: 14-16 declares every thought will be judged by the One with all qualification and all sufficient ability to do so righteously in accordance with His law exactly (considering He is the Sovereign) rather than what the world might say is. (And this chapter reveals that "Do not judge..." is a commandment among those of that exact law).
Why, then, should you care what anyone thinks of you, if it is Christ that judges their thoughts in real time,
and He is for you?
So, I hope this gives you more hope to enjoy the life that God gave you on purpose.