I pray that you know God loves you, going through depression and thoughts of suicide are signs you need help, and i pray that you get it. you can't deal with this alone. please seek help. i know i have been there suffering from severe depression and there was a time i was choosing death over life and God made the choice for me and pulled me out of that dark lonely place and told me He loved me and that He would never leave me. we often go through things in life that are not pleasant but God has a plan for you , you just have to be patient and wait on Him . i know your in pain , but you matter and think about all the people that would be hurt if you were not here. and we all make mistakes in life and have done things and said things we wish we could take back and have a do over but thats a part of life, it's a learning process. God has someone out there that He picked just for you but you have to be prepared and ready to appreciate the person He will send you and don't jump at the first person that comes your way, get your self together first and know that GOD WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU. He knows we make mistakes everyday and He understands. Everyone on this site Loves you. this is a good scripture :
God is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of , infinetely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts , or hopes. Ephesians 3:20 LB