Well I'm just reaching out for generalized prayer right now. I'm having difficulty honoring my parents (mother and stepfather) in a difficult situation for me. I'm not married and a lifelong single so I still feel that their authority is in place. It's not just thinking, I legitimately feel a type of spiritual authority that is pretty irritating especially when I disagree. So I have a disagreement and am angry and I'm making a lot of decisions that are...uh...dubious but perhaps I needed this kind of shift.
It is odd though because a change from the Lord born from anger frustration and a little bit of pride doesn't sound like him, but at the same time it may be a correcting moment and I am obstinate/stubborn within it.
Either way prayers are super important. I am pretty emotional and a bit sad because I literally don't know what I'm doing wrong for sure. Like I have some things out of balance in my life that most people wouldn't consider sin but I think it probably is, it's just difficult to wrestle against the flesh in some areas when so much is going on. Should a Christian prioritize holiness? Probably not, but sometimes I don't know what else to do...and that comes back to being stubborn and weak in ways.
Anyway, yesterday this came to a peak and I'm going out to make some sense of it, but my earlier thoughts included reaching out for prayer here as I don't want to pray with them. I feel that they have hurt me and if I have forgiven them there is still some "holdover" obviously still present or I would not be typing about it as we all want to encourage other believers with strength and fortitude but alas I am not feeling too strong.
Like, I "can" be strong by hardening my heart but is that strength? Probably not. It seems productive but I'm pretty sure that's a lie.
A lot can happen when you're angry and it may not be noticeable to others but I know it is to the Lord and he doesn't seem pleased with me at present exactly just because of all the assault involved (nothing physical, just verbal/etc.) It could be something deeper like that, but honestly I'm tired of that too. I've prayed and it's like I have some sort of door open to the enemy and either God is allowing it or it's my fault...sincerely I am not sure. If it is my fault, other than pray, I don't know what to do really...except follow vague hints.
Sometimes I think the Lord is vague about certain things because really there is joy in discovery with all the surprises that are straight up hidden in our futures.
Well, I'm getting somewhat long. This is definitely a prayer request but I think a bit of where I am might help you reach out for me a little more effectively.
You don't need to post back, the likelihood of at least one person praying for me is pretty good I think. If you want to post, sure go ahead or react or whatever. I feel like I should end this with an "I love you" but why oh why I do not know...because I don't see that anywhere on the forums...but I do have love for other believers...especially when I'm in a hard place. Other times too, but it's different. God is love though so I won't think overmuch on it
It is odd though because a change from the Lord born from anger frustration and a little bit of pride doesn't sound like him, but at the same time it may be a correcting moment and I am obstinate/stubborn within it.
Either way prayers are super important. I am pretty emotional and a bit sad because I literally don't know what I'm doing wrong for sure. Like I have some things out of balance in my life that most people wouldn't consider sin but I think it probably is, it's just difficult to wrestle against the flesh in some areas when so much is going on. Should a Christian prioritize holiness? Probably not, but sometimes I don't know what else to do...and that comes back to being stubborn and weak in ways.
Anyway, yesterday this came to a peak and I'm going out to make some sense of it, but my earlier thoughts included reaching out for prayer here as I don't want to pray with them. I feel that they have hurt me and if I have forgiven them there is still some "holdover" obviously still present or I would not be typing about it as we all want to encourage other believers with strength and fortitude but alas I am not feeling too strong.
Like, I "can" be strong by hardening my heart but is that strength? Probably not. It seems productive but I'm pretty sure that's a lie.
A lot can happen when you're angry and it may not be noticeable to others but I know it is to the Lord and he doesn't seem pleased with me at present exactly just because of all the assault involved (nothing physical, just verbal/etc.) It could be something deeper like that, but honestly I'm tired of that too. I've prayed and it's like I have some sort of door open to the enemy and either God is allowing it or it's my fault...sincerely I am not sure. If it is my fault, other than pray, I don't know what to do really...except follow vague hints.
Sometimes I think the Lord is vague about certain things because really there is joy in discovery with all the surprises that are straight up hidden in our futures.
Well, I'm getting somewhat long. This is definitely a prayer request but I think a bit of where I am might help you reach out for me a little more effectively.
You don't need to post back, the likelihood of at least one person praying for me is pretty good I think. If you want to post, sure go ahead or react or whatever. I feel like I should end this with an "I love you" but why oh why I do not know...because I don't see that anywhere on the forums...but I do have love for other believers...especially when I'm in a hard place. Other times too, but it's different. God is love though so I won't think overmuch on it
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