L
I am new here, and need some prayers. My husband walked out on me and the 3 kids back in Nov, (1 is his biologically) He contacted an attorney who told him to go back home as abandonment won't look good in a divorce. He came back 3 weeks later completely changed. He was over by his brother and sister in law who are non-believers, and patting him on the back for leaving us. When he came back, He told me he wanted a divorce, that he no longer loves me and through this all, I discovered he was reaching out to other women online, 1 was a stripper. I am disgusted. He has been extremely cruel to me emotionally while I cry everyday, trying to convince him to get back to the Word. He blames me for everything. I was not perfect in the marriage and have hit him in the face when he wouldn't help us with money. He financially controlled us and even drained our bank account earlier in the year and refused to help with the household or kids. I had a small amount of money coming in from a stay at home job I was doing, but I was paying all the bills while he did nothing but stack up his money. Still, I stood by my vows and sacrificed a lot including my career to stay with our sick son. He always disrespected me, allowed his mother and family to disrespect me, never showed much emotion, and had no interest in intimacy. I went through all the grieving processes, anger, denial, resentment, desperation (embarrassing) when he came back and am now just tired of the pain he has caused our family and me. I also discovered he has been dabbling in pills and marijuana, once spending $400 in 1 day on strong narcotic drugs. I am feeling so betrayed knowing he has been high right in front of us for who knows how long. Looking back, he always went in spurts with being so withdrawn from us. I have a zero tolerance for drugs. When I told my children, which I am unsure was the right thing to do, my daughter was devastated and started crying, he wouldn't even talk to her. She is not his biological child but was in her life for 7 years. She now won't come out of her room and avoids him at all costs, she told me he doesn't care about us and she is right. She is hurting the most and wants to move away from him. His family has blamed me for his drug use and so has he. They blamed me for my daughter being mad at him for abusing drugs, everything HE does, is all my fault to him and his non-Christian family is holding his hand, dragging him to leave us. I told the kids because he was downplaying the drug use and I just wanted him to get help. I thought the kids would have an effect on him, and he now agrees to counseling for his drug use, not because he believes he has a problem but because he says he is fighting for our child. He has allowed his mother to call me a c-u-n-t in front of my kids because I didn't want my dog to go outside, he never protected me. She even told me that if I had a child with him, he would leave us just like his Father left her. I thought it was wrong and told my husband, who didn't even say anything about it to her. I am torn with this, as I have prayed and prayed for God to get through to him, I am completely burnt out and have even asked time and time again, are you sure you want this, you have no biblical grounds for divorce, are you sure you no longer love me? he is sure and has no interest in speaking with any of us, let alone working on our marriage. I feel he abandoned the marriage and want to move out. I am emotionally drained and just want to leave, am I wrong?
