Pride in your children

[Katiebearman]

I have two sons, Alex aged 4 and Theo aged eighteen months, and I don't mind admitting I'm one of 'those' mothers who's every other word is about my kids. I wa only eighteen when I had Alex, and needless to say the odds were pretty stacked against me. I didn't have a great childhood, and there's many things I still haven't come to terms with and I'm much older and wiser than that scared confused eighteen year old girl I was. Even though it was damn scary finding out I was expecting and all the studies I'd have to prolong there was a tiny bit of me that was ecstatic; finally I had my own little person to love, I'd have a family, I'd be NEEDED. And from the moment he was placed in my arms I threw myself into trying to give him the childhood I wanted. It wasn't easy, I dropped out of schooling so i could work and I missed out on alot because I was battling with postnatal psychosis. I felt so guilty for letting depression get to me, growing up with a suicidal mother myself I'd vowed I'd never let things get that bad, but u honestly had no clue how easy it is to get into a rut. Anyway, I successfully came of my medication three years ago, we got ourselves financially stable, got married and were blessed with little Theo. needless to say I'm so so proud of my children, and why shouldn't I be? I've fought to get where I am now, which is just a normal mother. Anyway, I was recently told I shouldn't take so much pride in my children, as its sinful. Surely this is ATLEAST worded wrong?! Someone please explain, I honestly don't see how loving my children and sharing it with the world is a bad thing...

 

[zaoman32]

I have two sons, Alex aged 4 and Theo aged eighteen months, and I don't mind admitting I'm one of 'those' mothers who's every other word is about my kids. I wa only eighteen when I had Alex, and needless to say the odds were pretty stacked against me. I didn't have a great childhood, and there's many things I still haven't come to terms with and I'm much older and wiser than that scared confused eighteen year old girl I was. Even though it was damn scary finding out I was expecting and all the studies I'd have to prolong there was a tiny bit of me that was ecstatic; finally I had my own little person to love, I'd have a family, I'd be NEEDED. And from the moment he was placed in my arms I threw myself into trying to give him the childhood I wanted. It wasn't easy, I dropped out of schooling so i could work and I missed out on alot because I was battling with postnatal psychosis. I felt so guilty for letting depression get to me, growing up with a suicidal mother myself I'd vowed I'd never let things get that bad, but u honestly had no clue how easy it is to get into a rut. Anyway, I successfully came of my medication three years ago, we got ourselves financially stable, got married and were blessed with little Theo. needless to say I'm so so proud of my children, and why shouldn't I be? I've fought to get where I am now, which is just a normal mother. Anyway, I was recently told I shouldn't take so much pride in my children, as its sinful. Surely this is ATLEAST worded wrong?! Someone please explain, I honestly don't see how loving my children and sharing it with the world is a bad thing...

Wow...I think sinful is a strong word. I'm guessing the person who said this didn't know too much about your background otherwise they may not have been as harsh. Either way it really is a harsh thing to say. The issue is not taking pride in your kids, and putting so much love into them, it's simply a matter of whether or not you place a greater importance on that love than you do in your relationship with God and your relationship with your husband. It's a harsh reality but the truth is, eventually they will grow up and have to go out on their own, in which it will be left to just you and your husband, which is why it is important to keep that relationship a priority. It's also important to remember that God should be first and foremost in your life, anything else is an idol, but if you're seeking God's will you will have no problem sorting these issues out.

But there's nothing inherently wrong with loving your kids and putting your life into them at all.

 

[Katiebearman]

Thanks so much for your reply, it really helped. And this guy knew my background completely. But I dare say I have a lot to think about!

 

[Katiebearman]

What makes things slightly more complicated is that my husband is an agnostic!

 

[Ugly]

I think perhaps the person was meaning that you are being (or he believes you are, i don't know if you are or not) prideful in yourself. Bragging a lot about your child is often more of a reflection that the parent is bragging on themselves. In essence too much boasting about your child gets seen as 'i'm such a great parent look how good my kids turned out'. So, in that sense i could see where someone may see the pride in yourself and elevating yourself as a sinful mentality. Though it seems they could have done a better job explaining themselves and wording it better.

 

[sunnygurl]

Well done you have overcome so much to be the mother you are today and your children are blessed to have you as their mum. Keep enjoying motherhood there will be many trials and triumphs along the road. Parenting is such a high calling and one that does shape the future world, may you always have the joy of mothering in your heart.

 

[wisebeardman]

I dont know about other people. But me as I have no kids. I don't like hearing about other peoples kids much. The occasional topic is ok. but to me way to many people talk about it to much.

its almost like some people want to rub it in "see I have kids you don't look at me I have kids you don't"

 

[Ugly]

Yeah, i'm with wise. I don't so much see it as rubbing it in. But they aren't my kids. I don't care every time they take a poo poo on the potty. I don't find every little thing they do cute, and most of what you find hilarious will be of no interest to me. I tend to avoid people who can't find something to talk about other than their kids.

 

[wisebeardman]

Yeah, i'm with wise. I don't so much see it as rubbing it in. But they aren't my kids. I don't care every time they take a poo poo on the potty. I don't find every little thing they do cute, and most of what you find hilarious will be of no interest to me. I tend to avoid people who can't find something to talk about other than their kids.

Maybe it aint rubbing in it. but the way some parents do go on about the kids they have to someone who does not have kids it kinda smells of the "see what I have and you don't!"

I feel to me. it would be like me being a millionaire and any time I am around someone who is poor talking about how much money I have and what my money just bought me.

Another thing that annoyed me with parents is having them around they have the kid around and the kid just does nothing but pester you and the parent does nothing about it (they go on how its so cute) no its not cute its annoying. teach your kid not to poke bears with sticks. (I find boys to be the most annoying of kids. I am lot more tolerant of girls makes me wonder if girls just naturally know when they are young you dont pester the mean looking guy with a beard and long hair "the bear")

 

[Katiebearman]

Well I certainly don't rub it in, just kinda hard, people ask me about them, i tell them, perhaps I get a bit carried away but they're with me all the time except the two days I've gone back to work. Although I do know what some of you mean by parents not telling their kids off, I'm certainly not one of them! Plus coming from a family of five girls I have to say I find these two easier! Haha

 

[Ugly]

Maybe it aint rubbing in it. but the way some parents do go on about the kids they have to someone who does not have kids it kinda smells of the "see what I have and you don't!"

I feel to me. it would be like me being a millionaire and any time I am around someone who is poor talking about how much money I have and what my money just bought me.

Another thing that annoyed me with parents is having them around they have the kid around and the kid just does nothing but pester you and the parent does nothing about it (they go on how its so cute) no its not cute its annoying. teach your kid not to poke bears with sticks. (I find boys to be the most annoying of kids. I am lot more tolerant of girls makes me wonder if girls just naturally know when they are young you dont pester the mean looking guy with a beard and long hair "the bear")

Makes sense boys would be more bothersome in this area. They are naturally more physical, aggressive and active. Boys can be more curious and adventurous, so they probably want to see what will happen when they 'poke the bear'. Seems a common trait among boys (some 'men') is to annoy others, haha.

 

[wisebeardman]

Makes sense boys would be more bothersome in this area. They are naturally more physical, aggressive and active. Boys can be more curious and adventurous, so they probably want to see what will happen when they 'poke the bear'. Seems a common trait among boys (some 'men') is to annoy others, haha.

Yes. They poke this bear and Sgt. Hartman makes them cry.

 

[HoldingOn2013]

I think it's natural for a parent to be proud of their children. As a mom, I tend to put my boys needs and wants before my own. Not to mention devoting most of your time to and for your kids. That is what being a parent is. So I can understand that in conversation it would be natural to relate the conversation about what is going on in your life (your kids) or what you have experienced in the past (your kids) and so forth. I find myself being proud of my kids in situation when others may say I'm way off...

For example
The time my oldest got into a fight in the cafeteria at school in front of the Vice Principal. This may sound bad and not something I should be proud of, but given that it was a bully and kid who my son had problems with all year and the school did nothing, guess what... I"m proud of him for standing up for himself.

Bad example? Oh well.. guess I'm just a proud mama!