Protest in France is about deteriorating Schools?

[ZNP]

France Students Protest LIVE: ‘Not Giving Up The Fight’ Fresh Nationwide Student Protest | N18G


After 2 weeks this explanation seems absurd. So I thought it would be an opportunity to make some funny posters.


"MY TEACHER SAID MY SENTENCES ARE TERRIBLE. BUT THE JUDGE DROPPED THE CHARGES BECAUSE I COULDN'T READ THE INDICTMENT!"

or

"MY TEACHER SAID I'D NEVER GET A JOB LACKING BASIC SKILLS... BUT HERE I AM, GETTING PAID TO THROW BRICKS THROUGH WINDOWS!"


"MY TEACHER SAID I WAS FAILING MATH! BUT IF I DON'T KNOW MATH, HOW DID I FIGURE OUT THAT 100 RIOTERS NEEDING 10 BRICKS EACH MEANS WE NEED EXACTLY 110 BRICKS?! EXPLAIN THAT, MADAME!"

 

[SonJudgment]

Well I guess just burning down the education ministry means that's like not really an issue anymore. I guess they'll have to come up with a new false framing later tonight instead of admitting why Gen Alpha is rising up in what they're calling a revolution.

 

[ZNP]

Well I guess just burning down the education ministry means that's like not really an issue anymore. I guess they'll have to come up with a new false framing later tonight instead of admitting why Gen Alpha is rising up in what they're calling a revolution.

"Oh, so now we’re burning down the Ministry of Education? Beautiful. Absolute genius."
(Buries face in hands, chuckles darkly, shakes head)
Look, I get it. I do. You’re seventeen, you’re in Paris, you’re angry. You walk into a classroom, there’s no teacher, the roof is leaking, and you’re thinking, “Hey, why am I studying geometry when society is clearly a toilet?” I understand the impulse. But burning down the Ministry of Education? Do you understand the tactical error you just made?
You didn't just burn down a building, you idiots. You burned down your only excuse!
Before the fire, you had the moral high ground. You could look at your parents, look at the government, and say, "Hey, look at this underfunded system! You’re failing us! I’m not doing my homework because the state has abandoned my future!"


It’s beautiful. It’s unassailable. You’re a victim of the system!
Now? Now you have to go home, and your French dad is standing there in his little scarf, furious, and you have to look him in the eye and go, "Well, Papa... I would have got an A in European History, but unfortunately, the concept of history was reduced to ash on Tuesday night. It’s out of my hands."
And you know what the government is going to do? They’re thrilled! You think the politicians are crying? They’re throwing a party! They’ve been trying to figure out how to avoid funding your schools for a decade. Now they just get to point at the smoking crater and go, "Well, we wanted to hire sixty thousand new math teachers, but Henri and Pierre decided to turn the administrative database into a bonfire. So, unfortunately, no algebra for five years. Go back to smoking cigarettes by the Seine. The budget is now allocated to bulldozers."

 

[ZNP]

BOB
Well, uh... hello, everyone. Thanks for coming. I, uh... I think we need to look at the, well, the agenda for today. And item number one is, quite frankly, a bit of a public relations snafu.
(Bob rubs his forehead, taps his pencil)
You see, up until Tuesday, our official platform was that we were... uh, protesting a severe lack of educational resources. A very noble stance. The problem now, of course, is that... well, you burned down the building containing all of the resources. It’s a bit difficult to demand more textbooks when the evening news shows you using the existing textbooks to kindle a three-story bonfire. So, uh... we can’t really call it a resource protest anymore. We need to, as the corporate people say, rebrand. Any suggestions?
KEVIN
(Jumping out of his chair, arms flailing)
I got it! I got it, Bob! Listen to me! We don’t talk about the fire. We talk about the future. It’s an upgrade, Bob! We forced a mandatory migration to the Cloud! The building was legacy hardware, Bob, and we just manually hit 'delete' so the government is forced to build a sleek, digital, AI-driven educational future!
JEAN-LUC
(Scoffs loudly, flipping a long silk scarf)
Please. That is incredibly gauche, Kevin. This was not a tech support ticket. Bob, listen to me. This was art. It was a Dadaist masterpiece! A living, breathing performance piece exploring the ephemeral nature of state authority. The fire was our canvas!
CHLOÉ
(Slamming her fist on the table)
Are you both insane?! It’s an Ecological Purge! The Ministry was a massive, carbon-heavy bureaucratic monster generating millions of tons of useless paperwork! We didn't commit arson, we did a forced carbon offset! We eliminated the physical footprint of bureaucracy for a zero-paper future!
DAVE
(Takes a slow, deep drag of his vape, exhaling a cloud that covers Bob’s face. Bob blinks patiently until it clears.)
You’re all missing the big picture. This is a Modern Renaissance. We didn't destroy education... we emancipated it from the state. By burning the physical institution, we entered a Post-Institutional Era. We aren't rioters, man. We’re unaccredited philosophers.
KEVIN
(Screaming at Dave)
Philosophy don't pay the bills, Dave! The tech angle gets us corporate sponsors! Microsoft could back this riot!
JEAN-LUC
(Shouting)
Commercialist pig! It belongs in the Louvre!
CHLOÉ
(Screeching)
The smoke from your 'masterpiece' just violated the Kyoto Protocol, Jean-Luc!
(The room erupts into absolute chaos. Kevin is standing on a chair yelling about microchips, Chloé is throwing recycling bins at Jean-Luc, and Dave is calmly watching the room burn while taking another vape hit. Bob Newhart just sits there, looking incredibly uncomfortable, resting his chin on his hand. He waits a full thirty seconds, then clears his throat.)
BOB
Uh... excuse me. Excuse me, if I could... just a moment.
(The room slowly quiets down, everyone panting, staring at Bob.)
BOB
Yes, well... those are all very... passionate concepts. But I’m looking at the room right now. We have a tech-bro screaming about algorithms, an art student who wants to put a felony in a museum, an environmentalist trying to calculate the carbon footprint of arson, and a philosopher who I'm fairly certain is hallucinating.
(Bob adjusts his glasses, staring blankly at the group.)
BOB
It occurred to me that we aren't actually a unified political movement at all. We are, quite simply... a collection of the most extreme, unhinged nutjobs this city has to offer. And honestly? I think we should lean into that.
KEVIN
(Confused)
Lean into what, Bob?
BOB
Well, we want to look modern, don't we? Progressive? I think we should just announce that this is, in fact... the world's first DEI Riot.
DAVE
(Raises an eyebrow)
Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion?
BOB
Exactly. We aren't exclusive. We are welcoming diversity. We have included absolutely every single kind of lunatic, fanatic, and weirdo out there. We’ve given a voice—and a Molotov cocktail—to everyone, regardless of their specific brand of insanity. It’s highly inclusive.
(The room goes dead silent. Kevin looks at Dave. Dave looks at Chloé. Jean-Luc slowly nods.)
KEVIN
(Whispering)
Oh my god. It’s beautiful. Nobody can condemn a DEI riot. It’s bad PR.
DAVE
(Nodding slowly)
The man is a genius. We didn't burn down a school... we created a safe space for chaos.
BOB
(Taps his notepad with his pencil, entirely deadpan)
Excellent. Then it's settled. I'll call the press and let them know the nutjob coalition will be holding a seminar in the streets at midnight. Please try not to burn down the phone booth while I'm using it.
DAVE
Uh Bob, you can't give the press conference, your white, middle aged straight man. We need Cyrus.

[Everyone agrees]

 

[ZNP]

(The press room of the Paris Hôtel de Ville is packed with sweating journalists. At the podium stands the new official spokesperson of the DEI Riot: CYRUS (formerly Gary from Ohio). Cyrus is a 6-foot-4, neurodivergent, visually impaired, non-binary, vegan, socio-economically fluid individual of mixed Swiss-Cherokee descent, wearing a traditional Scottish kilt, a high-visibility Marxist safety vest, and a supportive medical neck brace for an undiagnosed emotional injury.)
(Bob Newhart sits quietly in the very back row, blending into the drywall, holding a notepad.)
CYRUS
(Adjusts the microphone, winces at the feedback, and speaks in a deeply serious, hyper-nasal vocal fry)
Hello, comrades, journalists, and those who identify as media-adjacent. Before I begin, I want to acknowledge that we are standing on stolen land, and also that the fluorescent lighting in this briefing room is triggering my sensory processing sensitivities.
(Cyrus takes a dramatic sip of oat milk from a reusable mason jar)
I am here today on behalf of the Coalition of Marginalized Outcasts and Radical Eccentrics. We understand that the mainstream, corporate, patriarchal media has been weaponizing vocabulary against us, using aggressive terms like "arson," "rioting," and "destruction of public property" regarding Tuesday’s liberation of the Education Ministry.
(A French journalist raises his hand)
JOURNALIST
Excusez-moi, but you burned down the building. There is nothing left but ash. How can you say—
CYRUS
(Stops him with a flat palm, looking deeply offended)
First of all, your tone is deeply rooted in Eurocentric linear logic, which is inherently exclusive. Secondly, we no longer identify as a "protest against school resources." As a uniquely intersectional collective, we have moved past the binary of "having books" or "not having books."
What you witnessed on Tuesday night was not a riot. It was a Bespoke Decentralized Synergy of Multi-Layered Perspectives. We are proud to officially launch the world's first fully audited DEI Riot.
(The press room goes dead silent. A reporter blinks, entirely lost.)
JOURNALIST 2
A... a DEI riot?
CYRUS
(Nodding righteously)
Correct. For too long, revolutions have been gatekept by organized political parties with "coherent demands" and "logical goals." That is a form of cognitive elitism. Our riot is radically inclusive. We have checked every single demographic, psychological, and behavioral box available to humanity.
On the front lines, we don’t look at qualifications. We welcome diversity. We have eco-anarchists who are allergic to grass. We have tech-disruptors who cannot read an analog clock. We have avant-garde French poets who refuse to use vowels because vowels are a colonial construct. And yes, we have included the local neighborhood nutjobs who just really, really enjoy throwing bricks at police vans. Their lived experience is just as valid as anyone else's.
(In the back row, Bob Newhart nods approvingly, checking a box on his notepad.)
CYRUS
By burning down the Ministry of Education, we successfully leveled the playing field. Literally. There is no longer an institution to gatekeep intelligence. Everyone is now equally unqualified. We have created a safe space for chaos where a Marxist in a kilt and a man hallucinating a conversation with a 19th-century ghost can stand hand-in-hand, throwing Molotov cocktails at the infrastructure of the state. If you oppose our methods, you are quite frankly opposing diversity itself.
(Cyrus dramatically adjusts his neck brace, points a finger at the cameras)
We will be hosting an intersectional barricade-building seminar tonight at midnight by the Seine. Gluten-free earplugs will be provided. Thank you. No questions, as questioning my narrative is a form of micro-aggression.
(Cyrus turns and sweeps out of the room, kilt flowing proudly. The journalists sit in absolute, paralyzed silence. In the back, Bob Newhart calmly packs up his pencil, sighs with relief, and walks out.)

 

[ZNP]

Activists in Paris have rebranded their ongoing protests into a "Bespoke Decentralized Synergy of Multi-Layered Perspectives," focusing on radical inclusivity and abandoning coherent political demands. French riot police have been paralyzed by public relations gridlock over the framing of the riot, leaving the city in a state of inclusive pandemonium. You can read the full report at CNN.

 

[SonJudgment]

I'm afraid you have fallen for the Boomer and Gen X propaganda. The revolution isn't about wanting more funding for the education system, which the young men pretty much hate. Like they literally burned the education ministry down pretty much just because the Boomers lying again about them.

There was a very touching sign that I been thinking on all day since I saw it but it basically said to paraphrase; "They stole our future. I'll never own a home, all the women are ruined, I can never have a family. They refused to listen, so we're done talking. Vive la revolution." It really encapsulates a lot of the central messages that the young men are frequently saying and writing. Particularly notice the "they're not listening" part, they say this over and over, and so like every time the media be changing the reason in their news articles like that kinda sorta confirms that indeed they're not listening and it makes them more ticked off.

 

[ZNP]

I'm afraid you have fallen for the Boomer and Gen X propaganda. The revolution isn't about wanting more funding for the education system, which the young men pretty much hate. Like they literally burned the education ministry down pretty much just because the Boomers lying again about them.

There was a very touching sign that I been thinking on all day since I saw it but it basically said to paraphrase; "They stole our future. I'll never own a home, all the women are ruined, I can never have a family. They refused to listen, so we're done talking. Vive la revolution." It really encapsulates a lot of the central messages that the young men are frequently saying and writing. Particularly notice the "they're not listening" part, they say this over and over, and so like every time the media be changing the reason in their news articles like that kinda sorta confirms that indeed they're not listening and it makes them more ticked off.

Maybe instead of judging others they should be judging themselves.

"'They stole our future. I'll never own a home, all the women are ruined, I can never have a family.'" I refused to listen to the gospel, I rejected Jesus. And so now I am going to be in the tribulation."
Anyway, the "Bespoke Decentralized Synergy of Multi-Layered Perspectives," includes Nihilists and fatalism.

 

[SonJudgment]

Maybe instead of judging others they should be judging themselves.

"'They stole our future. I'll never own a home, all the women are ruined, I can never have a family.'" I refused to listen to the gospel, I rejected Jesus. And so now I am going to be in the tribulation."
Anyway, the "Bespoke Decentralized Synergy of Multi-Layered Perspectives," includes Nihilists.

Well I think they're done trying to talk about it too.