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Then I don’t know. I guess she just decided one day she liked being a nudist and didn’t see the need to have a talk with you about it. Seems like sudden changes like that are worth a discussion, imho. People are funny like that though, not everyone sees things exactly the same way until you tell them it’s a problem.
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T
Ow I absolutely agree now. Back then prior to coming to Christ legitimately it didn’t matter much to me. The most advice morally back then I got was “whatever you do just don’t get them pregnant cause I’m too young to be a gpa “
and that was about the extent of my father to son talk as a kid and I got turned loose.
I really hope I can give my son a better example than the one I was given
and that was about the extent of my father to son talk as a kid and I got turned loose.
I really hope I can give my son a better example than the one I was given
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I feel that you are suffering in silence. She does not submit to your request, which would benefit her if she did. Instead she is being obnoxious about the open windows and the child. This unwillingness to listen to you in which doing so would be for her own good and for those around her is just one of the examples there will be many other. The root of the problem is not submitting to your advice as the leader of the home.
This results in you doing the best you can to be that leader and guide the family in godly behavior but being disrespected and ignored such that the behavior continues and there is no solution. Which causes you to suffer in silence as it is not something you can really talk about because you don't want to embarrass your wife.
I suggest Counseling with a pastor or Christian that believes in the scriptures about the Husband leading and the wife submitting in cases like this. If she gets the revelation that submitting to your advice and direction on this issue will be for her own good and the good of the family she might discover many other things that can be improved that were being dismissed out of lack of respect that God was leading you. Once she understands that God is speaking through you and she receives it and modifies her behavior accordingly she will experience many benefits that seal the revelation and change her attitude about listening to you in the future.
It would be great if you could just tell her this, but there seems to be a lack of respect and so sometimes when it comes from an authority she is in the act of submitting to, such as a counselor where she has an awareness of being expected to receive the advice given it can help turn things around.
If she is willing to read books that teach these ideas that could help. Asking a wife to go to counseling can just make them hate you for telling a stranger private things about her. The wife who does not respect the sound advice of a godly husband is not likely to respect the same sound advice from a counselor. They will just pretend to, until you get back home and then they will go into a shell of bitterness that you aired the dirty laundry.
This results in you doing the best you can to be that leader and guide the family in godly behavior but being disrespected and ignored such that the behavior continues and there is no solution. Which causes you to suffer in silence as it is not something you can really talk about because you don't want to embarrass your wife.
I suggest Counseling with a pastor or Christian that believes in the scriptures about the Husband leading and the wife submitting in cases like this. If she gets the revelation that submitting to your advice and direction on this issue will be for her own good and the good of the family she might discover many other things that can be improved that were being dismissed out of lack of respect that God was leading you. Once she understands that God is speaking through you and she receives it and modifies her behavior accordingly she will experience many benefits that seal the revelation and change her attitude about listening to you in the future.
It would be great if you could just tell her this, but there seems to be a lack of respect and so sometimes when it comes from an authority she is in the act of submitting to, such as a counselor where she has an awareness of being expected to receive the advice given it can help turn things around.
If she is willing to read books that teach these ideas that could help. Asking a wife to go to counseling can just make them hate you for telling a stranger private things about her. The wife who does not respect the sound advice of a godly husband is not likely to respect the same sound advice from a counselor. They will just pretend to, until you get back home and then they will go into a shell of bitterness that you aired the dirty laundry.
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T
wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had a run in with that aspect of my marriage. That’s been an ongoing drama and common theme in my marriage. The unsubmissive wife thing. Think I had someone hinting at a possible Jezebel Spirit. Wonder if this is yet just another symptom of that. It has improved since we have done a couple marriage counseling books together and this seems to happen less often than it used to.
One of the best books I ever read for marriage was by Dr Ed Wheat "Love Life" It is a bit dated but I consider it a classic. It is so simple but so profound and all that is needed to have a happy marriage. All based on the Word of God but practically applied. I can't say enough about it. There is an audible.com version. I refer it for pre marriage counseling along with "Intended for Pleasure" by the same author.
As to getting her to understand that walking around naked in front of an open window is universally considered inappropriate by the entire human population, explain that she will have no right to complain if a man does it and her children see it. What makes her different? Intention? Would she be ok with it if the man didn't "intend" harm or would she still be mad about her children being flashed? And if that doesn't work maybe the police knocking on your door will do the trick. Seems like these kinds of personalities straighten up real quick when they believe they might be ticketed or charged with a crime.
Does she think she is an especially attractive naked woman? Maybe that is why there is no shame? Fear of being charged with a crime might do the trick in such cases.
That's all I got. Good luck. I hope your wife returns back from the 1960s freedom movement and remembers that modesty in women is very attractive according to the scriptures soon.
As to getting her to understand that walking around naked in front of an open window is universally considered inappropriate by the entire human population, explain that she will have no right to complain if a man does it and her children see it. What makes her different? Intention? Would she be ok with it if the man didn't "intend" harm or would she still be mad about her children being flashed? And if that doesn't work maybe the police knocking on your door will do the trick. Seems like these kinds of personalities straighten up real quick when they believe they might be ticketed or charged with a crime.
Does she think she is an especially attractive naked woman? Maybe that is why there is no shame? Fear of being charged with a crime might do the trick in such cases.
That's all I got. Good luck. I hope your wife returns back from the 1960s freedom movement and remembers that modesty in women is very attractive according to the scriptures soon.
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There are likely not very many men who have not experienced a lack of submission by their wives at some time or other. And neither is it a perverse or odd thing in itself. Neither is it a proper thing to assign it to a possible Jezebelic spirit unless you first know. that men are just as likely to be predicated to that same spiritual effect as are women. When a man is influenced by a Jezebelic spiritual effect he tends to be a weak man - both spiritually and psychologically - but the same man can also become a complete demon when the woman does mistakenly submit to him out of respect for the Lord. Lets stop making a pretence of spiritual realities.
I don't wish to sound harsh. But unless you stop the discussion about the sexualisation of a child in terms that present your son at risk - then you may be venturing into a criminal facilitation. I would remind you respectfully that this forum is read in countries where what you have already stated would raise protection concerns.
IT IS NOT CHILD ABUSE FOR A SIX YEAR OLD BOY TO SEE HIS MOTHER NAKED AND NEITHER CAN IT BE DEEMED IN LAW TO BE A CRIMINAL ACTIVITY IF THAT NAKEDNESS DOES NOT PRESENT IN A MANNER THAT SEXUAL GROOMING COULD BE REASONABLE INFERRED. QUALIFIED ONLY by A RECOGNISED PUBLIC HEALTH IN CHILD DEVELOPMENT POLICY ENACTED IN FEDERAL AND STATE LAWS.
Hence why I used the expression passive nakedness in my first post.
Similarly - it is not unreasonable to take the opposite position when it is the father.
What you have described in this thread only contains two facts in that meaning.
Your wife suddenly changed her behaviour after she gave birth to your son - and stared randomly walking around the house naked.
Your son is presenting with a behavioural mind that is showing signs of being unaware of his own nakedness in circumstances that would ordinarily require privacy.
What people see through your windows is irrelevant unless your wife is presenting herself at the window with a clear disregard for public decency.
In raising a Jezebelic precept towards your wife's behaviour as you did @#29 as a possible indirect suggestion to you from some one else you are into a whole different meaning that is not and cannot be legislated for. It was in the past and you just need to read some case history on what that produced for woman in the United States.
And just to state the obvious here, @#24 makes the link between a sense of social policy and a reality of spiritual necessity. Men should not be walking around the home naked. The wife may do and unless there is a proper reason to stop it abruptly then the clear spiritual case is come into visibility. You are your wife's husband - not her father. But you are the head of the entire house. You are your son's father - but no less is your wife his mother. And with God children are commanded to honour both their fathers and their mothers. Not either or. Yet you have authority to ask the Father to uphold your headship. So stop being passive and start to take authority in prayer.
Forgive me if any of that seems blunt or insensitive.
I don't wish to sound harsh. But unless you stop the discussion about the sexualisation of a child in terms that present your son at risk - then you may be venturing into a criminal facilitation. I would remind you respectfully that this forum is read in countries where what you have already stated would raise protection concerns.
IT IS NOT CHILD ABUSE FOR A SIX YEAR OLD BOY TO SEE HIS MOTHER NAKED AND NEITHER CAN IT BE DEEMED IN LAW TO BE A CRIMINAL ACTIVITY IF THAT NAKEDNESS DOES NOT PRESENT IN A MANNER THAT SEXUAL GROOMING COULD BE REASONABLE INFERRED. QUALIFIED ONLY by A RECOGNISED PUBLIC HEALTH IN CHILD DEVELOPMENT POLICY ENACTED IN FEDERAL AND STATE LAWS.
Hence why I used the expression passive nakedness in my first post.
Similarly - it is not unreasonable to take the opposite position when it is the father.
What you have described in this thread only contains two facts in that meaning.
Your wife suddenly changed her behaviour after she gave birth to your son - and stared randomly walking around the house naked.
Your son is presenting with a behavioural mind that is showing signs of being unaware of his own nakedness in circumstances that would ordinarily require privacy.
What people see through your windows is irrelevant unless your wife is presenting herself at the window with a clear disregard for public decency.
In raising a Jezebelic precept towards your wife's behaviour as you did @#29 as a possible indirect suggestion to you from some one else you are into a whole different meaning that is not and cannot be legislated for. It was in the past and you just need to read some case history on what that produced for woman in the United States.
And just to state the obvious here, @#24 makes the link between a sense of social policy and a reality of spiritual necessity. Men should not be walking around the home naked. The wife may do and unless there is a proper reason to stop it abruptly then the clear spiritual case is come into visibility. You are your wife's husband - not her father. But you are the head of the entire house. You are your son's father - but no less is your wife his mother. And with God children are commanded to honour both their fathers and their mothers. Not either or. Yet you have authority to ask the Father to uphold your headship. So stop being passive and start to take authority in prayer.
Forgive me if any of that seems blunt or insensitive.
I believe the question of decency is at the core of this particular dilemma, and a discussion, that is where involved parties hear the other's expressed personal conscience about the issue. And in this particular case, going into the conversation with an agreement regarding the parameters of decency to get a better grasp of understand when there is a breaching thereof. Perhaps even beginning with a definition of the parameters of indecency may be easier if the discussion is to be steered toward an mutual understand of what to avoid and when to avoid it.
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C
Judging by your OP and the comments you have made here, it sounds like she is feeling trapped in the marriage. This feeling has been exacerbated by the arrival of the child. Why she feels this way, only a psychologist/marriage counsellor would be able to determine that.
I suspect her rebellious or out of the ordinary behaviour is her attempt to 'break out' of feeling trapped.
The worse thing you can do is be angry or condemnatory towards her for it. You both need to see a psychologist/marriage counsellor type that can unpack the history that has led up to this. It could simply be sinful natures at play, but I suspect the cause is far more complex and profound than that.
I suspect her rebellious or out of the ordinary behaviour is her attempt to 'break out' of feeling trapped.
The worse thing you can do is be angry or condemnatory towards her for it. You both need to see a psychologist/marriage counsellor type that can unpack the history that has led up to this. It could simply be sinful natures at play, but I suspect the cause is far more complex and profound than that.
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G
@tstumf
Your son is 6, so is he enrolled in school now?
Public or private or home schooled?
I ask because 6 year olds talk, and often very openly without filters. They also have a way of saying things very innocently that adults hear and blow out of proportion. The last thing you would need or want is someone (teacher, school counselor, etc) hearing your son talk about mommy walking around the house naked and start keeping false/misinformed records about sons well being.
Your son is 6, so is he enrolled in school now?
Public or private or home schooled?
I ask because 6 year olds talk, and often very openly without filters. They also have a way of saying things very innocently that adults hear and blow out of proportion. The last thing you would need or want is someone (teacher, school counselor, etc) hearing your son talk about mommy walking around the house naked and start keeping false/misinformed records about sons well being.
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I'm going to bounce a few ideas off the wall here.
Throughout history civilizations have had different beliefs on human clothing. Pagan societies often adopted sexual freedom as in it was normal to see the body naked even in public. More civilized societies could afford better clothing and also afford to support a culture like the English culture of wearing many layers and white wigs.
Environmental factors also play a role in choice of clothing. A far northern Indian tribe would have froze to death if they chose nakedness. Where as tropic or desert regions like the Carribean or African deserts have been seen to wear less clothing.
So culture has a lot to say on what it normal. Biblically we are told to dress modestly but you are speaking of within the home, around a 6 year old child, and the windows.
I personally have the mentality about the windows that it is my home, my yard, and I'll do as I please. If someone is being a creep then that is their problem. But I also live in a semi rural/ urban area where my house is not right on top of another house, we have 10+ feet away from 1 house and yards away from others.
Not that we should easily make a spectacle but just walking by an open window is in my opinion nothing to worry about.
Also you know kids through history have survived off of breastmilk and many were and still are breastfed up to age 6 or even older. It is actually very healthy for kids.
As for walking naked in the house, that is yalls property and God never said that nakedness in the proper boundaries was bad. Adam and Eve started out that way. The child being brought up around it will only see it as normal until the day they may get embarrassed.
Being in a house of 8 people I can't tell you how often we accidentally have been exposed to kids lol.
It is simply after the fact, if kids even ask a question becomes a down to Earth lesson on gender, biology and early Godly sex education. With our kids we don't want the subject to be embarrassing, fearful, or completely absent so we never shy from those questions. They get an appropriate answer for their age but they also get the truth.
We are counting on if we make the subject normal, they will open up more as teens or not feel so embarrassed to speak to us as teens. Both wife and I had parents who rarely if none at all spoke to us on any of these subjects, so the teacher became school children, culture, media, etc.
Throughout history civilizations have had different beliefs on human clothing. Pagan societies often adopted sexual freedom as in it was normal to see the body naked even in public. More civilized societies could afford better clothing and also afford to support a culture like the English culture of wearing many layers and white wigs.
Environmental factors also play a role in choice of clothing. A far northern Indian tribe would have froze to death if they chose nakedness. Where as tropic or desert regions like the Carribean or African deserts have been seen to wear less clothing.
So culture has a lot to say on what it normal. Biblically we are told to dress modestly but you are speaking of within the home, around a 6 year old child, and the windows.
I personally have the mentality about the windows that it is my home, my yard, and I'll do as I please. If someone is being a creep then that is their problem. But I also live in a semi rural/ urban area where my house is not right on top of another house, we have 10+ feet away from 1 house and yards away from others.
Not that we should easily make a spectacle but just walking by an open window is in my opinion nothing to worry about.
Also you know kids through history have survived off of breastmilk and many were and still are breastfed up to age 6 or even older. It is actually very healthy for kids.
As for walking naked in the house, that is yalls property and God never said that nakedness in the proper boundaries was bad. Adam and Eve started out that way. The child being brought up around it will only see it as normal until the day they may get embarrassed.
Being in a house of 8 people I can't tell you how often we accidentally have been exposed to kids lol.
It is simply after the fact, if kids even ask a question becomes a down to Earth lesson on gender, biology and early Godly sex education. With our kids we don't want the subject to be embarrassing, fearful, or completely absent so we never shy from those questions. They get an appropriate answer for their age but they also get the truth.
We are counting on if we make the subject normal, they will open up more as teens or not feel so embarrassed to speak to us as teens. Both wife and I had parents who rarely if none at all spoke to us on any of these subjects, so the teacher became school children, culture, media, etc.
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Gen 3:7 And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.
Gen 3:21 Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.
For those who think naked is ok around the kids . There were no kids in the garden when God shed the first blood to cover them.
Gen 3:21 Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.
For those who think naked is ok around the kids . There were no kids in the garden when God shed the first blood to cover them.
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But is also doesn't say anything to the matter. We have one instance according to culture when Noah was seen naked he cursed his son.
Beyond that we have commands on sexual immorality and dressing modestly which also included no jewelry, having long hair, not having braided hair, gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness.
Obviously at a certain age it would become a problem as teens or early pre-teens start to experience hormones or be embarrassed by the lack of clothing.
Parents just must be wise about it and realize that as kids get older their understanding and awareness changes. Young kids literally can breast feed with no thoughts on abnormal nudity.
Beyond that we have commands on sexual immorality and dressing modestly which also included no jewelry, having long hair, not having braided hair, gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness.
Obviously at a certain age it would become a problem as teens or early pre-teens start to experience hormones or be embarrassed by the lack of clothing.
Parents just must be wise about it and realize that as kids get older their understanding and awareness changes. Young kids literally can breast feed with no thoughts on abnormal nudity.
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