Question to men

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Cassie84

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Can men get scared if a girl they clearly show interest in makes a "big move" towards them, kinda like saying, ok, I'm interested in you too, but only for something serious, that meaning marriage...? I guess they would like things to just flow, but what if the girl says that?
 
Not all men will appreciate your move but a real and honest man will consider your advances. He will set logical traps to see if your appeal is geniune. And if he does find that they are, he will unreservedly open the gates to his heart to you. Personally, that is the kind of opportunity that will attract me.
 
Cassie84 said:
But why?? Isn't that the final purpose of a man showing interest in a woman?
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It is, but if he's not ready to be married it can scare him off. Most men are already scared about making a lifetime commitment so it doesn't help to suggest it to him.
 
zeroturbulence said:
It is, but if he's not ready to be married it can scare him off. Most men are already scared about making a lifetime commitment so it doesn't help to suggest it to him.
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Ok...so what would be the remedy if you scared him already?
 
Cassie84 said:
Ok...so what would be the remedy if you scared him already?
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Well once he has been scared, you can maybe ask him to forgive you for suggesting it and tell him that you don't want to push him into marriage and that you won't do it again. Also, pray that he reconsiders and comes back.
 
When a girl makes a big move, it says a lot more about her intentions than when a guy does. When a guy makes a first move it says," I want to get to know you more."

When a girl makes a move it says, "I have this all figured out"

"Deep conversation, then 2 weeks later a first date, then another the following week, watching movies at each other's places 1 month away, then parental introductions 2 months away, One of us changing churches to be with the other person 2.5 months away, Small vacation together for the weekend 3 months away, exposure to finances and credit history 5 months away, inevitable 6 month mark engagement, then the marriage and I win. MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!"

That is how I picture the female mind at work^
 
Cassie84 said:
Can men get scared if a girl they clearly show interest in makes a "big move" towards them, kinda like saying, ok, I'm interested in you too, but only for something serious, that meaning marriage...? I guess they would like things to just flow, but what if the girl says that?
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Men don't get scared hun only boys do.
 
Liamson said:
When a girl makes a big move, it says a lot more about her intentions than when a guy does. When a guy makes a first move it says," I want to get to know you more."

When a girl makes a move it says, "I have this all figured out"

"Deep conversation, then 2 weeks later a first date, then another the following week, watching movies at each other's places 1 month away, then parental introductions 2 months away, One of us changing churches to be with the other person 2.5 months away, Small vacation together for the weekend 3 months away, exposure to finances and credit history 5 months away, inevitable 6 month mark engagement, then the marriage and I win. MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!"

That is how I picture the female mind at work^
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Lol, this is funny, but I'm actually kinda thinking "Ok...he's shown interest in me for three years now, so a couple months engagement, then MARRIAGE! :cool:"
:)
 
Ok, so I should clarify that we know each other very well, so the purpose of his interest could not be to get to know me.
 
Then this seems ideal and it sounds like he is trying to do the right thing.

The best relationships start as best friends first.

This is actually very similar to what I am trying to do right now too.
 
Liamson said:
When a girl makes a big move, it says a lot more about her intentions than when a guy does. When a guy makes a first move it says," I want to get to know you more."

When a girl makes a move it says, "I have this all figured out"

"Deep conversation, then 2 weeks later a first date, then another the following week, watching movies at each other's places 1 month away, then parental introductions 2 months away, One of us changing churches to be with the other person 2.5 months away, Small vacation together for the weekend 3 months away, exposure to finances and credit history 5 months away, inevitable 6 month mark engagement, then the marriage and I win. MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!"

That is how I picture the female mind at work^
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I know a lot of my friends to be that way. I'm the exact opposite. I once by chance met my parents at the same diner as my date and had to introduce him. It was our third or fourth date and I didn't know his last name yet.

I'm an odd duck.
 
I'm feeling completely opposite. Can't imagine ever again making the first move. Didn't feel right about it. Had never done it before. Listened to someone else that I thought to be older and wiser. I should have listened to my gut.

Don't even trust myself at this point to read a guy's signals either. :rolleyes: I'm thinking his first move would have to be running me down with a truck for me to get it.
 
Jullianna said:
I'm feeling completely opposite. Can't imagine ever again making the first move. Didn't feel right about it. Had never done it before. Listened to someone else that I thought to be older and wiser. I should have listened to my gut.

Don't even trust myself at this point to read a guy's signals either. :rolleyes: I'm thinking his first move would have to be running me down with a truck for me to get it.
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I think being in a digital age really throws my radar off scope. Actually seeing someone and reading their body language is about the only way I can gauge intentions. There is a lot of plausible deniability that occurs in online flirtations. I cannot say with any certainty what anyone's true motives are online, even under the best of circumstances it feels a bit like artificial chemistry.

And since trucks don't exist on the interwebs, I hope you have good medical insurance. :)
 
Jullianna said:
I'm feeling completely opposite. Can't imagine ever again making the first move. Didn't feel right about it. Had never done it before. Listened to someone else that I thought to be older and wiser. I should have listened to my gut.

Don't even trust myself at this point to read a guy's signals either. :rolleyes: I'm thinking his first move would have to be running me down with a truck for me to get it.
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But doesn't it give a fresh perspective of what men go through thinking about asking us out?

Stick with your gut. If it doesn't feel right for you, it doesn't feel right. Instincts are there for a reason. But don't beat yourself with a stick about it, at least you tried it. Failure is not always a bad thing in my eyes.
 
allforfun said:
But doesn't it give a fresh perspective of what men go through thinking about asking us out?

Stick with your gut. If it doesn't feel right for you, it doesn't feel right. Instincts are there for a reason. But don't beat yourself with a stick about it, at least you tried it. Failure is not always a bad thing in my eyes.
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Just like (Einstein?) some guy smarter than I once said, "For 10,000 times you have failed at something you come ever closer to finding the way it works" (paraphrase)
 
allforfun said:
But doesn't it give a fresh perspective of what men go through thinking about asking us out?

Stick with your gut. If it doesn't feel right for you, it doesn't feel right. Instincts are there for a reason. But don't beat yourself with a stick about it, at least you tried it. Failure is not always a bad thing in my eyes.
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I've always felt kinda sorry for guys for having to take the lead here, especially in light of seeing how some women I've known have treated them.

If I'm being perfectly honest, I don't think I really tried because I wasn't comfortable with it. The only thing I feel like whacking myself with a stick about is entertaining the notion in the first place. haha It goes against all that I am.

I agree, Liamson, people are far easier to read in person and it's very easy to miss things, misunderstand things and over/underestimate people online. I think that's one of the reasons it's so important to take your time.

*reading insurance policy*
 
allforfun said:
I know a lot of my friends to be that way. I'm the exact opposite. I once by chance met my parents at the same diner as my date and had to introduce him. It was our third or fourth date and I didn't know his last name yet.

I'm an odd duck.
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________When's the wedding :D
 
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