Questions for the Ladies..........Men can answer too

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Hommer

Hommer

Senior Member
Feb 11, 2010
172
3
18
Ok I think there is a lot of people in here with wisdom so I have four questions for you

First some background

A woman has been attracted to a certain type of person her entire life, every person she has dated in her 36 years of living has fit this certain profile if you say...its the bad boy type you know bald head, tattoo's skinny, she basically chased looks if he was bad and she thought he looked "Hot" she was interested in him...........anyway.......she is seeing somebody that doesnt fit that type at all...so me being the polite one I just straight up asked her why would she date this other guy if he is not her type......and she reply well I think he is handsome, nice smile and nice eyes....yada yada yada......and he treats me good........BUT I said he is not the type of person that you normally seek, I told her if your not physically attracted to him, nice eyes and smile wont cut it......in the long run I told her she would end up hurting this guy because she will start looking for the type of man she normally seeks..........upon which she said well those other types were no good for me and I have asked God to change me ..yada yada yada.........Now I realize that love is on so many levels, I could easily love a woman that wasnt the most physically beautiful if she has a beautiful mind and spirit....but there has to be some physical attraction and I usually am pretty true to what physical characteristics I want and I believe we will always be true to ourselves....we can try to think we have changed or we can try to convince ourselves we love somebody but we will always be true in the end to who we are.......I am not saying I think she is totally blowing smoke maybe she has changed..but I mean I have seen women that had esteem problems look for validation in men that where "hot" thinking well if this guy dates me it means I am pretty...and I have seen men do the same thing and then they realize that their behavior is not positive...........sooooo I pose these questions for you

Questions:

#1 Can a woman be attracted to a certain type of person her entire life and then truly change, and I mean truly change not in her mind but heart

#2 Can a woman fall in love with a man that she doesnt find "Hot" but in all other aspects he is a good person or will she end up being true to her old self and seeking out that physical attraction

#3 Can two people be in a long term relationship if they dont have alot in common...you know do you believe in the old opposites attract saying.....

#4 how much credence do you give astrological compatibility.......

I am looking forward to hearing the replies as I said before I think there is alot of wisdom in this room....
 
Questions:

#1 Can a woman be attracted to a certain type of person her entire life and then truly change, and I mean truly change not in her mind but heart

Of course! I think a woman has to find an attraction of the heart BEFORE she finds an attraction of the appearance. (to put it another way..and hopefully I say this well...) When a man makes love to his wife, he is not only making love to her body, but to her mind and heart too. Does not matter how physically attracted to him she is, if he is not appealing to those other senses of hers...its all for not.

#2 Can a woman fall in love with a man that she doesnt find "Hot" but in all other aspects he is a good person or will she end up being true to her old self and seeking out that physical attraction

I can only speak for myself on this one. The last person I dated was not *attractive* by societys standards.....but I grew to be physically attracted to him because I found his heart to be very amazing. So, yes, I do believe this can happen.

#3 Can two people be in a long term relationship if they dont have alot in common...you know do you believe in the old opposites attract saying.....

There are opposites attract, and then there are 'opposites attract'. Sure you may have some interests that are opposite etc...BUT, you have to have some commonalities or I think it is a given that you will grow apart. There would be very little for you to spend time together enjoying one another.

#4 how much credence do you give astrological compatibility.......

None. Silly'ness in my opinion.
 
#1 Can a woman be attracted to a certain type of person her entire life and then truly change, and I mean truly change not in her mind but heart.

Well.... yeah. Our ideas of what is and isnt attractive is based a lot on personality and character. So there may be a specific ''type'' that one woman may prefer over another, but if this woman like your describing found someone that didnt fit her usual type, but there was something about him personality wise she found attractive, yeah she could change.

#2 Can a woman fall in love with a man that she doesnt find "Hot" but in all other aspects he is a good person or will she end up being true to her old self and seeking out that physical attraction

I can only speak for myself here, I have to be attracted to the guy. I dont care what kind of sparkling personality he has, if there is just squat physical attraction. Its not gonna cut it. And you know, i can only believe in that whole the more you get to know someone the better looking they become stuff to a certain point. While some of that may be true, for me i would never be able to date someone who was my height or shorter, and he may be the greatest guy on the face of the earth, but his personality isnt gonna make him grow five inches. There has just got to be soooooooomething i find even a little physically attractive about him.

#3 Can two people be in a long term relationship if they dont have alot in common...you know do you believe in the old opposites attract saying.....

That saying may have some truth to it. I think it really depends on what they DO have in common, on weather or not the relationship will work.

#4 how much credence do you give astrological compatibility.......

None. That is the most ridiculous thing ever.
 
As a connoisseur of raspberry tea, starbucks, doc martin shoes, dark chocolate, scented candles, I feel I may have a somewhat legit answer to this.

I think it rests in one word.

FICKLE.

Meditate on it.
 
Questions:

#1 Can a woman be attracted to a certain type of person her entire life and then truly change, and I mean truly change not in her mind but heart -

Can’t imagine being attracted to a certain type (Other than the abilities to coherently complete a thought and recognize that the female body actually has a head). Sometimes it’s the uniqueness of a person that MAKES them attractive. Also, wouldn’t what we’re attracted to automatically change to a degree as we mature and change ourselves? Even if WE can’t change something we know to be unwise for us, we know that God can. He specializes in changing the heart and has saved me from myself re: bad relationship choices several times (just last week as a matter of fact haha). YAY GOD! Isn’t this what she’s doing? She seems to know what doesn’t work and is attempting to discover how God’s ways are better, so…isn’t there wisdom in that?

#2 Can a woman fall in love with a man that she doesn’t find "Hot" but in all other aspects he is a good person or will she end up being true to her old self and seeking out that physical attraction –

If she is one for whom physical attraction is a priority, I would be tempted to say yes; but if she TRULY falls in love with him, can we say that??
We all kid around about “hot” people sometimes, but experience teaches that dating them can be pretty risky business, as they face constant temptation from those of the opposite sex who are attracted to them solely for their looks. If they are bobbleheads, they will easily fail. If they aren’t bobbleheads, it can take time for them to trust that we are interested in them for other reasons. Don’t know about anyone else, but being with someone whose attention span is directly proportionate to the amount of hairs that fall out of place is pretty zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, so there HAS to be so much more than that.

#3 Can two people be in a long term relationship if they don’t have alot in common...you know do you believe in the old opposites attract saying.....

Seems that compatibility is about balance. There are certain areas where common ground is a must (faith, ethics, etc.), some common interests are important (you need to have some things to do together and/or discuss), but it’s also important to have separate interests as men/women can get on one another’s nerves if they spend TOO much time together. There’s a reason for these sayings: “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” and “Familiarity breeds contempt”. haha

#4 how much credence do you give astrological compatibility.......

It’s forbidden by scripture to consult such things, so...none.
 
*Taking kryptonite out of desk to weaken super power of sarcasm to resist responding to FICKLE comment.* :)
 
Let me help you out here, Hommer :)
Female definition of fickle:
Woman likes guy (sometimes this is 2nd step); (sometimes this is first step) guy expresses interest in woman; woman acknowledges interest and waits for guy to act; and waits; and waits; woman thinks she misunderstood and moves on; man says women are fickle for moving on as apparently stalker action was required on woman’s part and woman failed to fulfill said requirement; woman repeats process until woman dies.

*waits for male definition* J
 
*waits for male definition* J[/QUOTE]

Monday- I like guys with fast cars....

Tuesday- I like guys who drive cargo vans and paint.

Wednesday - I can't stand guys with fast cars or cargo vans. I like nerds with smart cars.

Thursday- I look terrible in a smart car and there isn't enough room to bring my dog with us on dates.

Friday - I like guys with fast cars.

Saturday - I just saw a guy with a cargo van I wanna date.

Sunday - Drives to church in her Honda to ask God to forgive her for her fickleness.
 
Here's male fickleness.....

Monday: I can't get a date because all women want is a bad boy...us nice guys always fail with women *continues obsessive whining*

Tuesday: I'm such a nice guy and all women are evil because they clearly can't see I'm a nice guy.....

Wednesday: Makes a whiny post on an internet forum whining about women not liking nice guys.........

Thursday: Reads replies to his posts on said internet forum. Replies to those who stroke his whining. Ignores those who tell him to man up.

Friday: Goes to the grocery store and sees a gal he's attracted to. Considers asking her out. But doesn't.

Saturday: Posts in his blog about how women have just ruined him. The nicest guy to ever live.

Sunday: Goes to church and hears a sermon about not whining and manning up and being a man. Gets pumped up.

Monday: Goes to the grocery store again. Sees the same girl he saw before. Follows her for 20 minutes getting up the nerve to ask her out. Five minutes passes.....then a guy in leather with tattoos moseys his way over and gets her number.

Tuesday: Guy wakes up and makes another post on said internet forum ranting against women and their love for bad boys, not considering that maybe he's this way because of inaction.
 
Addendum to definition - Sometimes process terminates prior to woman’s death as follows: Woman loves man; man loves woman; man has dream; woman has responsibilities; woman lets go of man; after 3 years man flies from India, calls woman and tells her he wants to see her; woman tells young man who’s been asking her out that it won’t work; man goes to church with woman/to lunch/fly fishing and they have a great time; man tells woman he will be in USA for awhile; woman thinks hmmmm – maybe woman made a mistake letting go; 3 days later (just now) woman is told man has now been assigned to Southeast Asia for two years; woman hates drama; woman decides it’s just not worth it, seeks enough cats to fill her house and lives happily ever after. And, in spite of super power of sarcasm, woman is no longer able to find humor in definition.
 
ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL Stilly and Jules you guys are cracking me up!!!!!!!!!!!!! This stuff is really good
 
Jullianna said:
Addendum to definition - Sometimes process terminates prior to woman’s death as follows: Woman loves man; man loves woman; man has dream; woman has responsibilities; woman lets go of man; after 3 years man flies from India, calls woman and tells her he wants to see her; woman tells young man who’s been asking her out that it won’t work; man goes to church with woman/to lunch/fly fishing and they have a great time; man tells woman he will be in USA for awhile; woman thinks hmmmm – maybe woman made a mistake letting go; 3 days later (just now) woman is told man has now been assigned to Southeast Asia for two years; woman hates drama; woman decides it’s just not worth it, seeks enough cats to fill her house and lives happily ever after. And, in spite of super power of sarcasm, woman is no longer able to find humor in definition.
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WOW! I just made cream cheese brownies....I think you may need some. c'mon over. Whew!
 
Where are all the irresponsible women who want to go to India at?

There seems to be disproportionate number of responsible women in the World. Its really a shame.


#1 Can a woman be attracted to a certain type of person her entire life and then truly change, and I mean truly change not in her mind but heart
----No I would say her recent accessory is just a fad.

#2 Can a woman fall in love with a man that she doesn’t find "Hot" but in all other aspects he is a good person or will she end up being true to her old self and seeking out that physical attraction –
----Hmm... I'm going to say no again. If she likes everything else about him but doesn't find him "Hot" she having some self esteem issues and will regret being with him in the long run.

#3 Can two people be in a long term relationship if they don’t have alot in common...you know do you believe in the old opposites attract saying.....

--Yes Absolutely, if they share a common mission in life. Like if a Retired Veteran Pilot and a Nurse were married and both into Missions. She went to Nursing school and Seminary for 10 years while he was off playing Sky Cowboy in the Desert. If they didn't share a love for the same end, I'm sure they would find each other insufferable.
 
grace said:
WOW! I just made cream cheese brownies....I think you may need some. c'mon over. Whew!
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I think you may have been the only one who got it, grace. God bless you. <3 And thank you for your prayers.
 
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Jullianna said:
I think you may have been the only one who got it, grace. God bless you. <3 And thank you for your prayers.
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She wasn't the only one who got it...I was just distracted by the thought of fresh brownies. Not all of us guys are winners, Jullianna.
 
Thanks, Nuke. I rubbed some dirt on it. All is right with the world. At least now I know I didn't make the wrong decision 3 years ago, right? God bless!

And keep yer paws offa my brownies ;)
 
Heck....the pan is 1/2 empty now. (and the kids only had two. *cough* )..if ya'll want some you better hurry. ;)
 
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