racist coworker

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Dude653 said:
Willie-T said:
So, I think we are getting closer to the truth. You couldn't care less about his possible past hurts that affect his perceptions of Blacks.... you just want to control his language so you feel comfortable with everything

If he felt comfortable saying the n word in my presence then he must have assumed that I think like that way as well. Guess he learned that lesson the hard way this time
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I don't think that's going to change his opinion. And you wonder why he is the way he is. Hence how I said earlier, he had to get it from somewhere. But rather than talk to him and find out why he feels the way he does, you essentially act like him and develop a negative mind towards him. Rather than show love and want to try to find meaning behind it.
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Dude653 said:
I remember few years ago I thought I would extend an olive branch and give him another chance so I sent him a friend request on Facebook. I remember I made some post about looking for a lighter or something.. I think I was trying to light a candle if I remember correctly. So he popped up trying to be cute and comments...smoking again?..ha ha... as if it would be humorous to him if I were to go back to smoking. Like I said he's a sociopath so he takes pleasure in antagonizing others... so I thought okay you clearly have not changed a bit and I blocked him
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So, you really didn't extend an olive branch? Only a qualified, conditional outreach.... IF he had somehow now become a different person that you would approve of.

Love isn't "IF you become what I want, I will consider magnanimously bestowing recognition upon you." Love is, "Yeah, you're still the same screw-up you have always been, but I want to help you in that pain you live with."
 
Will pray you and your step brother reconnect. All people are sociopaths until God touches their lives and heart.

Maybe you can plant the Gospel seed message in his life.

******

Jesus doesn't always ask for us to go into a situation where we have to be buddies with the Enemy and learn their hurts and trials.

This happened in the workplace. Its a workplace issue and the,bosses should be made aware because if the customers had heard him, it would have been a lawsuit.

If he keeps the job, his black co-workers can show Christian love and that will do more than allowing him to think it's okay to insult and degrade blacks. If he doesn't adjust his attitude, He will continue to be abrasive....only thing that can change it is if those he insults show him love beyond what is expected and pray with him.

It's a twisted world when the person standing up for respect gets told he is unloving and the racist gets all the compassion. So much so that the story gets rewritten to take place at a football game.
 
This is kinda off topic but since you mentioned it the DSM I will elaborate a bit. I actually have read parts of the DSM. As a child I was diagnosed with ADHD and I still deal with it now. Also I have certain traits on the autism spectrum.
1Difficulty maintaining eye contact during a conversation
2. Strict adherence to routine. If my routine is interrupted in the slightest I'll become extremely irritated
2. Vocal tics
3. If I am working on one particular task, then in my mind that task is more important than anything else that's going on around me. I don't care if the house is on fire, don't interrupt me. Having to leave one task unfinished to do something else causes me a great deal of anxiety... so yes I am indeed familiar with the DSM
 
Dude653 said:
This is kinda off topic but since you mentioned it the DSM I will elaborate a bit. I actually have read parts of the DSM. As a child I was diagnosed with ADHD and I still deal with it now. Also I have certain traits on the autism spectrum.
1Difficulty maintaining eye contact during a conversation
2. Strict adherence to routine. If my routine is interrupted in the slightest I'll become extremely irritated
2. Vocal tics
3. If I am working on one particular task, then in my mind that task is more important than anything else that's going on around me. I don't care if the house is on fire, don't interrupt me. Having to leave one task unfinished to do something else causes me a great deal of anxiety... so yes I am indeed familiar with the DSM
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More people should be rather say terms like sociopath, antisocial, depression/depressed loosely. I'm just speaking in general. But a lot of folks don't really know the meanings behind these. These are just a few. Can go on and on. And as a psychology student it really gets under my skin.
 
Dude653 said:
I remember few years ago I thought I would extend an olive branch and give him another chance so I sent him a friend request on Facebook. I remember I made some post about looking for a lighter or something.. I think I was trying to light a candle if I remember correctly. So he popped up trying to be cute and comments...smoking again?..ha ha... as if it would be humorous to him if I were to go back to smoking. Like I said he's a sociopath so he takes pleasure in antagonizing others... so I thought okay you clearly have not changed a bit and I blocked him
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forgive as Christ in God has forgiven you

that is what I do...does not mean you have to raise his children

another thing, from your posts, I do not think you are qualified to say someone is a sociopath

anyone I know, including me, myself and I, with more than a passing interest in the mind, would be interested in what makes the other person tick

you don't get the gospel if you think you just kick people out of your way and judge them as you have done

yeah, that's harsh, but been there, done that

and believe me, what goes around DOES come around

you are a racist yourself

we all are in one way or another

me? I HATE liars and can usually spot 'em a mile away

no worries...you can continue on or obey the scriptures and forgive

I have had way more to forgive then what you describe...it can be a process...I suggest you begin at your earliest possible convenience
 
Don't get too hooked up on the DSM. It really isn't a whole lot more than a resource to find the legally correct term to write down on a piece of paper. Sometimes a fun book, but with the potential to be highly disturbing and destructive to the layman looking for themselves or others on its pages.
 
Dude653 said:
why he does that? Because he's a racist piece of [expletive omitted].. that's all I need to know
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You may not be a racist but this is also not the way to speak about anybody (not even a racist) if you are a Christian. How are you showing him the love of Christ in this statement?
 
Willie-T said:
Don't get too hooked up on the DSM. It really isn't a whole lot more than a resource to find the legally correct term to write down on a piece of paper. Sometimes a fun book, but with the potential to be highly disturbing and destructive to the layman looking for themselves or others on its pages.
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Not sure how disturbing or destructive when it provides an accurate diagnosis. Too many folks say "ohh I'm depressed" when depression is more than just feeling sad. Or those same folks use the word bipolar when someone flies off the handle, when in reality bipolar disorder is more than just that. The DSMbefore, actually, is a tool to educate people and provide an accurate diagnosis.
 
jsr1221 said:
Not sure how disturbing or destructive when it provides an accurate diagnosis. Too many folks say "ohh I'm depressed" when depression is more than just feeling sad. Or those same folks use the word bipolar when someone flies off the handle, when in reality bipolar disorder is more than just that. The DSMbefore, actually, is a tool to educate people and provide an accurate diagnosis.
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I had a girlfriend who was bipolar so I know bipolar behavior when I see it
 
Well, it's actually a diagnostic coding reference for medical record keeping after an actual rather more detailed and extensive diagnosis has been determined by professionals in several fields.
 
Dude653 said:
I had a girlfriend who was bipolar so I know bipolar behavior when I see it
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right

she was the poster child and now you know all about it

you know, the fact you started the op is a dead giveaway that you really are not all that comfortable with your own actions

your words:

it's pretty disappointing when someone you thought was cool turns out to be a big jerk
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LaurenTM said:
right

she was the poster child and now you know all about it

you know, the fact you started the op is a dead giveaway that you really are not all that comfortable with your own actions

your words:
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try again... reporting him to management was the right thing to do.
 
Dude653 said:
A couple days ago, a football team and their cheerleaders came in from Memphis. Probably around 50 people or so. So as I'm on my way out the door one of my co-workers looks at me and says.."look at that sh**"... I said yeah a football team... then he says "buncha ****in ni**ers"... I wanted to punch him in the face but rather than lose my job I just walked away. I came back to work the next day and reported this to management. I felt like it was the right thing to do because that was completely unacceptable workplace Behavior. Also I have numerous black co-workers see if I hold in high regard and I feel like they should know what he really is.... it's pretty disappointing when someone you thought was cool turns out to be a big jerk
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Explain that as a Christian, bigotry goes against your moral fiber, and with that, forgive him. Then share the fact that your wife is of African descent and if he says another derogatory word about your family he'll meet Mr. Fist.
 
Utah said:
Explain that as a Christian, bigotry goes against your moral fiber, and with that, forgive him. Then share the fact that your wife is of African descent and if he says another derogatory word about your family he'll meet Mr. Fist.
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Bad advice...Mr.Fist hangs out with Mr Unemployment.
 
Utah said:
Explain that as a Christian, bigotry goes against your moral fiber, and with that, forgive him. Then share the fact that your wife is of African descent and if he says another derogatory word about your family he'll meet Mr. Fist.
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So you have never in your entire life been tempted to punch someone?
 
LaurenTM said:
right

she was the poster child and now you know all about it

you know, the fact you started the op is a dead giveaway that you really are not all that comfortable with your own actions

your words:
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no... but when you have been in a relationship with someone who is bipolar you know the behavior to look for.
1. Severe ups and downs
2. Constant mood swings
3. Fabricated allegations.. flight when my ex girlfriend accused her dad of molesting her son... but the person who is bipolar will believe that the incident happened despite the fact that it did not
4. Compulsive Behavior..
5 emotional abuse. One minute you're the best thing that ever happened to her in the next minute she can't stand you
6. Alienating others who are close to you. They will try to convince you that they are the only person who loves you and that everyone else is out to get you.
Being in this type of relationship is emotionally exhausting
 
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