Relationship Expectations

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Galatea said:
You misunderstand me. Complete and total adoration does not mean I think he is perfect and he thinks I am perfect. That would be intolerable. Complete and total adoration means knowing the faults and adoring anyway.
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Hmm. Seems we have our adjectives confused or there are exceptions to the words "complete" (without any reserve) and "adoration" (a form of worship) - towards the person exhibiting a fault.

I think you are splitting hairs. Would you "adore" a boyfriend who raped and beat you? Because I think what is included in your definition of "fault" is something you could tolerate - like an annoying habit such as picking one's nose or something - making the stipulation a degree of fault rather than fault in an of itself.
 
Harkins said:
Hmm. Seems we have our adjectives confused or there are exceptions to the words "complete" (without any reserve) and "adoration" (a form of worship) - towards the person exhibiting a fault.

I think you are splitting hairs. Would you "adore" a boyfriend who raped and beat you? Because I think what is included in your definition of "fault" is something you could tolerate - like an annoying habit such as picking one's nose or something - making the stipulation a degree of fault rather than fault in an of itself.
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If he adores me totally and completely, he would not be beating me.
 
If she's got things that she still wants to hear, that's a deeper issue that obedience won't fix.. Sure she could deny the desire for obedience sake but it remains.... Looking for someone who wants to grow to desire to hear only what I'd have to say, is another on my list...
Conversationand said:
Amen and Amen. And this is why simply calling herself a Christian doesn't make the cut with me. They have to show obedience to Christ because when their good looking coworker is making them laugh and saying all of the things they want to hear I can't be there, but Christ can.
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Galatea said:
If he adores me totally and completely, he would not be beating me.
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Harkins said:
Actually not:

Online Etymology Dictionary

Would you practice this if you caught your gf in bed with another man? Might it be a bit marred by something closer to the opposite of adoration?
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now...

complete adoration isnt the same as unconditional adoration....


i could love everything about a woman

UNTIL she does something like you mentioned

i still feel youre wrong

but i like how i didnt frazzle you
 
If there's an "until" then it's not complete.. The question is what's adoration.. it's deep love and respect.. She said her expectation is a mutual exchange of that.. That eliminates any possible harmful conduct because of the mindset that has already been fixed .. btw not really directed in full towards you
NoNameMcgee said:
now...

complete adoration isnt the same as unconditional adoration....


i could love everything about a woman

UNTIL she does something like you mentioned

i still feel youre wrong

but i like how i didnt frazzle you
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Zi said:
If there's an "until" then it's not complete.. The question is what's adoration.. it's deep love and respect.. She said her expectation is a mutual exchange of that.. That eliminates any possible harmful conduct because of the mindset that has already been fixed .. btw not really directed in full towards you
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ohhhh did she say that?

i didnt see that "mutual" part

maybe i should read all the posts

hahaha
 
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And then you fall in love unexpectedly, with the most unexpected person, and that list of yours goes completely out the window :p

The things you thought you wanted are no longer important, and the things you didn't know you wanted you now do. And you're able to look past that person's idiosyncrasies :)
 
Zi said:
If she's got things that she still wants to hear, that's a deeper issue that obedience won't fix.. Sure she could deny the desire for obedience sake but it remains.... Looking for someone who wants to grow to desire to hear only what I'd have to say, is another on my list...
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I agree that obedience does not fix desire, but I look at it as a fail safe to guard against harmful action. To me, unmet desire should be resolved through communication. And sometimes a person can have a desire that rests %100 with them, that the spouse has no power to resolve despite knowing about it. Obedience to Christ can stave off catastrophic failure and give the relationship the space it needs to heal and grow so that desire is met or overcome or whatever needs to happen.
 
No doubt.. I'd just prefer someone like myself.. I absolutely loved a man once and I wouldn't even entertain another's conversation.. Didn't need it, didn't want it. I knew who I wanted and why.. perfect relationship? Nope but I didn't change
Conversationand said:
I agree that obedience does not fix desire, but I look at it as a fail safe to guard against harmful action. To me, unmet desire should be resolved through communication. And sometimes a person can have a desire that rests %100 with them, that the spouse has no power to resolve despite knowing about it. Obedience to Christ can stave off catastrophic failure and give the relationship the space it needs to heal and grow so that desire is met or overcome or whatever needs to happen.
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