I have recently become closer to the Lord, I got saved as a child, come from a Christian, southern baptist family. I have trouble going to church because I can't drive. My parents don't want to go. I had trouble with my faith because I was into fantasy, like fairies, unicorns and dragons, learned about other religions and mythology. I tested my faith in the God of the Bible and Jesus Christ, Christ showed his great love for me, Jesus saved me from myself, he saved me from the Devil's lies.
I still suffer from depression. I have been seeing psychiatrists since I was 12. I was diagnosed with manic depression. Sometimes it feels like my heart is broken and I cry for at least an hour. I can be extremely sensitive and cry at the least little thing. I am trying to obey the Lord and do what is right. I pray and read the Bible, I pray a lot, even if it's just little short prayers. I pray for people I see on TV, on the news or people I meet in the stores, in real life.
God fillls me with his love, but sometimes it hurts. To see other people suffering, it is like I suffer with them. I have also become disgusted with the sinful, foolish worldly things, sinful, frivolous perverted obscene violent, evil treacherous TV shows and movies. Some family members are in spiritual danger, I pray for them, sometimes it feels like God is not listening. My parents are no longer southern baptists, they became disgusted with "religious right" politics, my dad does not like deceptive politicians using religion for their advantage, how they encourage extremist hateful right wing politics.
I wish he would stop thinking about politics all the time. I help out my parents because they are getting old and need help, the Bible says to honor your father and mother. My mom and dad told me everyone should be treated with kindness and respect. Sometimes I feel like I hate myself, nothing I do is good enough, I just want to lie in bed and cry. I hate this world that is evil, cruel, unfair, violent, destructive, lying, greedy, selfish, impatient and uncaring. When I read history books it makes me feel sad, the history of Christianity is sad, we are all flawed and sinful, that is why Christian leaders of the past relied on brute force, military might, and forced people to convert to Christianity or die.
This is what breaks my heart. Is God better than this? Why does it have to be this way?
I still suffer from depression. I have been seeing psychiatrists since I was 12. I was diagnosed with manic depression. Sometimes it feels like my heart is broken and I cry for at least an hour. I can be extremely sensitive and cry at the least little thing. I am trying to obey the Lord and do what is right. I pray and read the Bible, I pray a lot, even if it's just little short prayers. I pray for people I see on TV, on the news or people I meet in the stores, in real life.
God fillls me with his love, but sometimes it hurts. To see other people suffering, it is like I suffer with them. I have also become disgusted with the sinful, foolish worldly things, sinful, frivolous perverted obscene violent, evil treacherous TV shows and movies. Some family members are in spiritual danger, I pray for them, sometimes it feels like God is not listening. My parents are no longer southern baptists, they became disgusted with "religious right" politics, my dad does not like deceptive politicians using religion for their advantage, how they encourage extremist hateful right wing politics.
I wish he would stop thinking about politics all the time. I help out my parents because they are getting old and need help, the Bible says to honor your father and mother. My mom and dad told me everyone should be treated with kindness and respect. Sometimes I feel like I hate myself, nothing I do is good enough, I just want to lie in bed and cry. I hate this world that is evil, cruel, unfair, violent, destructive, lying, greedy, selfish, impatient and uncaring. When I read history books it makes me feel sad, the history of Christianity is sad, we are all flawed and sinful, that is why Christian leaders of the past relied on brute force, military might, and forced people to convert to Christianity or die.
This is what breaks my heart. Is God better than this? Why does it have to be this way?