Save dating for marriage.

[AAAPlus]

When you're going on a date, it seems like the majority of it is about putting your best foot forward, putting on a certain front and to a major extent, trying to impress someone. Little of it has to do with getting to know what is going on inside the persons head. Little of it has to do with seeing if you can do mundane every day stuff together while keeping your whits. Cuz isn't that kinda what marriage is?

In other words, dates/dating is low on reality and high on putting up a front and very high on pressure and stress! Not exactly the best context for finding a mate.

The alternative involves putting yourself in social settings and establishing relationships, in a context where you're simply being yourself. I know this sounds a lot like some popular Christian dating books, but the difference is, I'm suggesting this out of pragmatism, not out of some self-absorbed, self righteous moral plea.

Hey if you're putting yourself out there around people, being yourself, chances are someone will eventually see the real you and then the sparks will fly and bah dah boom! Bah dah bing. Here comes the bride!

While I agree with the first part, I completely disagree with your alternative. It seems you're using two extremes here, assuming that you can either 1. Date or 2. Just hop into marriage. I would challenge you to talk to long-lasted married couples and ask them how many of them just got married before dating or "courting". 99% of them would say they dated.

Consider this alternative; be around someone enough to establish a tenured friendship. Tenured meaning...at least know what they're like in every season of the year. At that point you've found out what the person is like in social settings, without all the pressure of putting on a front. I think you get to know someone better in six months of being friends than a year of dating them right off the bat. After you know them in a no-pressure setting, then date. Then, of course, marriage.

 

[chip]

i think group dating is the best approach, safety in numbers, plus you get to see how someone you are interested in interacts with others around.
if dating does occur, it should be based up on already knowing a person fairly well, perhaps having already been your friend for several years.