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XLonewolfX
Guest
So my testimony can be considered somewhat dramatic...which suits me because I tend to have a flair for all things dramatic lol. But anyway...
I didn't grow up in a Christian home, my parents didn't really have a stance on religion. They always told us we could believe whatever we wanted. As a kid I liked the idea of God because I was afraid of death. Other than that my childhood was pretty typical of a nerdy kid like myself up until sophomore year of high school. My parents had informed my siblings and I that they were getting a divorce. Surprisingly it didn't seem to bother me all that much at first...probably because the two of them fought constantly so it was more a relief when they first told us. What got me is that eventually my mother found out that my dad was cheating on her with another woman. I was kind of a fragile minded teenage kid because honestly I lived a very sheltered life without many problems so this was a huge deal. My parents were my best friends because like my name, XLonewolfx, i tend to be a bit of a loner except for a few trusted individuals. I was really hurt by what my dad did. My parents fought over everything including, custody, money, the house, anything you could think of. My dad won everything except custody over my brother and myself. My mom, brother and I had to move away to our grandparents home in Honesdale PA....which is a nice place...if your retired, lots and lots of fields and nothing else lol. Eventually I ended up in the basement with my video games and that's kind of how I dealt with my problems. Other than video games I lost interest in health, friends, family...basically I shut everything down that could possibly induce some sort of pain or having to deal with my problems. My grandmother is the only Christian in the family and she would try to help the family out by telling us about Jesus and how he had everything perfect in his plan. I wanted nothing to do with this and honestly being kind of passive, Jesus sounded like a great guy to rebel against, i mean a guy who wasn't physical and just took my abuse? That was exactly what I wanted at the time.
Growing up my family was into the horror scene, movies, games, etc so the idea of Satanism went right along with my interests. I found an online group that I joined and was taught everything about going against God. I got the satanic bible, things for rituals, I was big into summoning demons. It got pretty bad as the years went on because besides destroying my soul I'm pretty sure I was ruining my sanity. After performing so many rituals for "summoning demon" I began to hear voices and I had a lot of really screwed up nightmares. Still though, I thought this was the way to get back at God for ruining my life.I'd go into more detail about the Satanism stuff but I don't to seem to insane lol. After about 3 years of Satanism my grandmother caught me during my worship and instead of freaking out like I thought she was going to, she brought me upstairs and told me about Jesus again. She told me to pray and ask if God was looking out for me. I almost laughed at the prospect but for some reason that night I did pray...pretty disrespectfully might I add.
That night I woke up at 3 am to hearing the word "Listen"
I immediately shot up and looked around because unlike the voices from the "demons" I worshiped this sounded very close. It took me a second to remember but I prayed that night. I sat in my bed in complete shock...I worshiped God's enemy and openly attacked him at any chance I got, and yet God answered my prayer. I couldn't believe it...I didn't even have to think about what my next step was...renouncing the Devil and everything I did that worshiped him. I still barley know him and I'm constantly learning more about God but what was amazing is that eventually the voices and nightmares stopped. I was free from the grasps of Hell. I still have a lot of darkness in my heart but I know God will bring me out of my current darkness like he brought me out of Satanism.
I didn't grow up in a Christian home, my parents didn't really have a stance on religion. They always told us we could believe whatever we wanted. As a kid I liked the idea of God because I was afraid of death. Other than that my childhood was pretty typical of a nerdy kid like myself up until sophomore year of high school. My parents had informed my siblings and I that they were getting a divorce. Surprisingly it didn't seem to bother me all that much at first...probably because the two of them fought constantly so it was more a relief when they first told us. What got me is that eventually my mother found out that my dad was cheating on her with another woman. I was kind of a fragile minded teenage kid because honestly I lived a very sheltered life without many problems so this was a huge deal. My parents were my best friends because like my name, XLonewolfx, i tend to be a bit of a loner except for a few trusted individuals. I was really hurt by what my dad did. My parents fought over everything including, custody, money, the house, anything you could think of. My dad won everything except custody over my brother and myself. My mom, brother and I had to move away to our grandparents home in Honesdale PA....which is a nice place...if your retired, lots and lots of fields and nothing else lol. Eventually I ended up in the basement with my video games and that's kind of how I dealt with my problems. Other than video games I lost interest in health, friends, family...basically I shut everything down that could possibly induce some sort of pain or having to deal with my problems. My grandmother is the only Christian in the family and she would try to help the family out by telling us about Jesus and how he had everything perfect in his plan. I wanted nothing to do with this and honestly being kind of passive, Jesus sounded like a great guy to rebel against, i mean a guy who wasn't physical and just took my abuse? That was exactly what I wanted at the time.
Growing up my family was into the horror scene, movies, games, etc so the idea of Satanism went right along with my interests. I found an online group that I joined and was taught everything about going against God. I got the satanic bible, things for rituals, I was big into summoning demons. It got pretty bad as the years went on because besides destroying my soul I'm pretty sure I was ruining my sanity. After performing so many rituals for "summoning demon" I began to hear voices and I had a lot of really screwed up nightmares. Still though, I thought this was the way to get back at God for ruining my life.I'd go into more detail about the Satanism stuff but I don't to seem to insane lol. After about 3 years of Satanism my grandmother caught me during my worship and instead of freaking out like I thought she was going to, she brought me upstairs and told me about Jesus again. She told me to pray and ask if God was looking out for me. I almost laughed at the prospect but for some reason that night I did pray...pretty disrespectfully might I add.
That night I woke up at 3 am to hearing the word "Listen"
I immediately shot up and looked around because unlike the voices from the "demons" I worshiped this sounded very close. It took me a second to remember but I prayed that night. I sat in my bed in complete shock...I worshiped God's enemy and openly attacked him at any chance I got, and yet God answered my prayer. I couldn't believe it...I didn't even have to think about what my next step was...renouncing the Devil and everything I did that worshiped him. I still barley know him and I'm constantly learning more about God but what was amazing is that eventually the voices and nightmares stopped. I was free from the grasps of Hell. I still have a lot of darkness in my heart but I know God will bring me out of my current darkness like he brought me out of Satanism.
