school of hard knocks or cotton wool?

[Lanolin]

What do you think is better for children, the school of hàrd knocks where they grow up to be tough and take no guff from anyone, or wrap them up in cotton wool so they are nurtured and pampered?

Do you think theres too much of one or the other?
Is it gendered? Are boys better to be under a firm hand and girls to be treated as precious or the other way round or both?
which one did you grow up under?

What does the Bible say about this. and do you think children of christian parents are spoiled or too sheltered?

 

[Blackpowderduelist]

Both. As a friend of mine says there is a ditch on both sides of the road. In general children need to work hard, play hard, fall down and get hurt, and be nurtures with tenderness. They need to be spoken to with seriousness and silliness. Remember that we are raising them to be adults, but they are children. They need teaching and correction and to be allowed to make mistakes.
Never punish a child for spilling, teach them to clean it up.
Consequences for rebellious actions and thoughtless actions must fit, so that they learn to self correct, via self control. Let the punishment for the crime if you will.
I never said to mine that they are stupid or that they will never amount to anything or any kind of tear down words. I would say, you know better, and this is beneath who you are, and you are better than this, and this will hinder or possibly destroy your goals.

 

[1ofthem]

I would think balance is the best. Being too hard on kids can tear them down and not actually prepare them for a productive and successful life. Also spoiling a child will not prepare them for a productive life.

Children need love, encouragement, and discipline. Discipline without love and encouragement is simply abuse in my opinion.

 

[student]

What do you think is better for children, the school of hàrd knocks where they grow up to be tough and take no guff from anyone, or wrap them up in cotton wool so they are nurtured and pampered?

Do you think theres too much of one or the other?
Is it gendered? Are boys better to be under a firm hand and girls to be treated as precious or the other way round or both?
which one did you grow up under?

What does the Bible say about this. and do you think children of christian parents are spoiled or too sheltered?

Proverbs 22:6, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Eph 6:4

I think if a child is raised in a Christian home, the adult he/she grows to be will know the hard knocks of Jesus and will treat others like a lost child, in reverance and with care. Again, a child beaten with a rod...as the bible says, will not die...yet will not this child be angry?
Or traumatized? In this world, yes...most don't understand what a rod is.

I think its more of respecting a child...and that is not depedent on gender. Many are treated as though the child is incapable of rational thought. Still it has to be with care to not offer too much responsibilty too soon. Whether gender or age, love and respect for the child is necessary in all cases.

I think solid familes with Christian children have a better handle on emotions and trials, yet there are fallicies as well. The more you know of God, the more responsible you grow.

 

[Lanolin]

I think children only got beaten for serious crimes in the OT I wouldnt condone beating for arbitrary reasons, or just because the parent is an angry person which is totally damaging.

By the time I was in school, corporal punishment had been done away with, but apparently in schools it was only boys who got caned, girls got lines or detentions, or at most the strap, but not the cane on the buttocks

 

[Reformed1689]

God disciplines his flock and lavishes with Grace. You should probably use a little of both. The most important thing is to teach them to teach themselves.


Deut. 9

4 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[b] 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Pampering is bad, and so is abuse. Build a foundation with scripture, guide them, and then release them as arrows from a quiver into the world.

Psalm 127:5
Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their opponents in court.

 

[Lanolin]

Im wondering what happens to overly pampered children?

Ive seen the effects of neglected and abused children (one of my friends is a social worker, she has plenty of stories to tell), I live in a lower income area, work in a low decile school so I'm not really around circles of the over- pampered set.

I know some children because of illness, are treated with more attention and cotton wool than others, but that is only because they had medical complications that required it.