School vs Moving Out

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F8Th

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I cant stand my parents much longer....im almost 20 and they dont treat me like an adult at all. I got home the other night (i hadnt told them where i was when i left) and came home "super late" at 10pm and they almost grounded me. Im not even really allowed to stay out with friends past 11pm...it suckssss

So im trying to decide wat to do, trying to make the right choice. the only options i can think of is find a better job and move out or move to another state and go to university for a bachelor degree....

I dont wanna move...all my friends are here and i love it here and this is where i grew up. If i could just get out on my own (get a roommate and stuff) id be happy. Moving to go to university is soooo drastic....

Would it be better to be 'getting an education' (i have no idea what i actually wanna go to school for) or if i can move out and survive with my income would that be fine....im trying to think like, years down the road what would be the better choice.

Going to school could get me in debt....
 
school would probably be the best idea. You have two years before you have to declare a major though its good to have a general idea. and it has structure and a place to live and food is all guaranteed
 
how is food and a place to live guaranteed? ...im thinking even if i went to school id be totally broke anyways..maybe even in debt....so wouldnt moving out be the same or better? what if my degree ends up useless
 
I chose moving out over school mostly because my parents were driving me insane too. The only warning I can give you about that is it will make getting into school harder because of all the new bills you'll be paying that you probably hadn't been before. So if you really really want to go to school early in life, you may want to consider sticking it out if you can.
 
I would say you have a third option which is going into the armed forces. Cuz you have food, housing, and education paid for. But im not sure if thats the case in Canada.
 
F8Th said:
I cant stand my parents much longer....im almost 20 and they dont treat me like an adult at all. I got home the other night (i hadnt told them where i was when i left) and came home "super late" at 10pm and they almost grounded me. Im not even really allowed to stay out with friends past 11pm...it suckssss

So im trying to decide wat to do, trying to make the right choice. the only options i can think of is find a better job and move out or move to another state and go to university for a bachelor degree....

I dont wanna move...all my friends are here and i love it here and this is where i grew up. If i could just get out on my own (get a roommate and stuff) id be happy. Moving to go to university is soooo drastic....

Would it be better to be 'getting an education' (i have no idea what i actually wanna go to school for) or if i can move out and survive with my income would that be fine....im trying to think like, years down the road what would be the better choice.

Going to school could get me in debt....
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Go to school get a good job and you can take care of the debt later, but remember if you're moving out you might realize how good you had it. Cause if you're in their house and they pay for your food electricity and don't abuse you it can't be too bad. Maybe if you go to school and come home at breaks your relationship will be better. btw have you had a respectful conversation with your parents about this situation?
 
Have you tried sitting down and discussing things with them? Talk to them about the 3 of you figuring out some specific ground rules that are age appropriate. Seems to me this may not be so one sided either. You're saying how upset they were you out late, yet you just sort of breezed over the fact that you left without telling them where you were. Maybe they wouldn't have mind so much if they had some idea of if you were safe and ok. Who you were with, etc. Sometimes just letting them in on the who/what/when/where/why goes a long way towards trust. Maybe call in to them every few hours so they know you're ok, where you're at. If your plans change, give them a quick call so they know.
If they aren't willing to sit and talk, or has not been successful perhaps try finding a 3rd party to mediate. Perhaps a pastor in your church, to sit down with the 3 of you to help provide some balance on both sides.
 
Ugly said:
Have you tried sitting down and discussing things with them? Talk to them about the 3 of you figuring out some specific ground rules that are age appropriate. Seems to me this may not be so one sided either. You're saying how upset they were you out late, yet you just sort of breezed over the fact that you left without telling them where you were. Maybe they wouldn't have mind so much if they had some idea of if you were safe and ok. Who you were with, etc. Sometimes just letting them in on the who/what/when/where/why goes a long way towards trust. Maybe call in to them every few hours so they know you're ok, where you're at. If your plans change, give them a quick call so they know.
If they aren't willing to sit and talk, or has not been successful perhaps try finding a 3rd party to mediate. Perhaps a pastor in your church, to sit down with the 3 of you to help provide some balance on both sides.
Click to expand...

I have tried to talk to them about things like rules and how im growing for yearsss.....me and my 3 siblings. My parents have problems. I have an asian dad. If i were to start asserting myself (but still be respectful to them) and trying to make them understand that im an adult now, theyd just get very angry. They have control issues. I have been threatened before that i would get kicked out...and im pretty sure its not just a threat.

@needmesomejesus.. Its is bad here..i know how financially they support me with things cus i dont have to pay for it...but i cant stand being at home now, i try to stay out as much as i can (which, besides working, im not outthat much). Its just a very unhappy place. And i have been verbally abused before, quite a bit when i was younger

@vikkikate89 ..yes thats sorta what is keeping me from moving out...i KNOW how hard it will be to save if i decide to go to school...but right now i have no idea what i want to do or where i wanna go
 
Well then one thing you could think about is renting a room somewhere near the school you want to attend. There are always people renting out rooms in their home near colleges and universities. Utilities are often paid for by the homeowner or they expect you to pay a fraction of it and the rent is always cheaper than what an apartment would be. You can also think about becoming a roommate and sharing the rent with someone who has an apartment or dorm near the school. There are always people putting ads on campus who are looking for a roommate or who have a room to rent to students. Good luck! :)
 
If you're not sure what you want to go to school for, you'll probably end up wasting your money and possibly ruining your credit. If I were in your situation, I'd take a year off to explore any possible interest I had. In that way, I'd be better prepared for choosing a major. Or you can always go to community college and then transfer once you have a definite idea of what you want to do. As for moving out, you can always find a roommate to help foot the bill if you can't entirely.
 
I just dont think i want to go to school yet....and i dont see how i could "explore any possible interest" .... moving out is what i think im gonna go for. Maybe try and get a fulltime job first and then move out...

the way i see it, i understand how hard it is to save for school when u gotta pay rent and all the bills...but i have some saved up right now, and i will continue to save when im moved out. Then if i decide to go to school, i wont be that bad off
 
Another option is to find a nice, financially secure boyfriend and get married. ;) Just don't sign any pre-nup!
 
I suggest you pray and ask God what to do. I was in the same situation last year with my parents. My father is old-fashioned and I mean VERY old-fashioned; he is extremely strict, I seriously thinks he prays that I don't have any friends or a boyfriend but that's beside the point)

Anyways, last year I was dreading graduation because I wanted to move out already and live my own life. I was tired of being treated like a 10 year old and forced to follow so many rules. I had everything ready. I was accepted into my university, I had received financial aid and scholarships, and my apartment was set for me. And I did this all on my own. Well, my father wasn't happy about this. Now, my dad is a true servant of God and so I have always felt that when I do something bad I am disobeying God. Well, that one time I truly felt it. Since I was going against my dad's wishes, I was going against God. This was revealed to me through dreams and it was also revealed to my mom. She confronted me and told me that the path that "I" was choosing was headed towards a destructive path. And leaving without my dad's blessing was going to make everything so difficult for me.

Well, this is my situation but just talk to God and ask him what he thinks works better for you. Sorry for going all story-teller on you :) If it's really necessary for you to move out then ask God to make it simple for you.
Hope everything works out for you :]
P.S. and staying home was probably the best choice because I was offered double the scholarships than what my first college had offered.
 
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