By Linda Shultz part 1
My life has been a profound search for my True identity. Early on I was one who loved to explore the world of the intellect.
Approaching life from an innate curiosity and love of life, I ventured into marriage at the tender age of 18, thinking I was made to be a mother and a wife.
Interestingly enough, I loved married life, having two beautiful sons early on, but my husband was not so content, and so at the age of 24, I found myself divorced.
I think it was then thatGod really began to woo me. I had no man in my life to fill the void deep within for a loving relationship.
Free-spirited and in the ‘60’s, I began to investigate the free-love movement and started experimenting with drugs and alcohol.
Before I knew it my new identity became that of sex, drugs, rock-and-roll and motherhood, unfortunately in that order.
For years, it was “fun,” discovering a world of “if it feels good do it” mentality, so young and so desirous of feeling free. It was then the spiritual bondage really began.
I had been raised as a Catholic and found no loving God there.
I grew up believing God was waiting to send me to Hell. Guilt and shame were always somehow connected to the things of God.
Therefore, I had no desire to have anything to do with any belief system even vaguely connected to Jesus Christ.
Deep inside began a hunger to know why I was here. Drugs served to induce deep, stirring experiences of love and a sense that there was a dimension beyond this Earth and time.
First, I ventured into the world of the
occult, astrology, eastern religion and metaphysics. Even then my Father was working in me, drawing me ever nearer to Him.
Getting into ESP in the late ‘70’s, I began to believe I was God; that was a heady experience!
I became tired of the bar scene, the revolving door through which passed men and more men. Not knowing where to turn, I met a “back-slidden” Christian at a bar who spoke to me of a personal God, and Jesus, His Son.
Part of me laughed at what I thought to be a cosmic joke.
Part of me listened intently as I had met for the first time a man who had something bigger in his life than his ego. Then slowly, the Spirit drew.
I began studying the Bible, going to church, crying throughout the entire service as the Holy Spirit softened my hardened heart and conviction set in. Gently, the Father wooed me, and I came broken and humbled, a sweet surrender at last to my loving Father as I asked Christ into my life while home alone one night.
I woke up the next morning feeling as if my heart was bursting out of my chest, a confirmation that He had truly come into my life and that He was real, a precious memory that sweetly and clearly lives in my heart and mind to this very day.
I fervently immersed myself in church, Bible studies and any and all Christian activities I could find. I became a “doer,” not knowing anything else at the time. But again gently, the Spirit began to teach me and placed in me the deepest hunger to know God.
This Jesus I’d shunned for so long became my greatest desire. Mercifully, the Father placed a couple in my path and introduced me to the message of Christ in me.
I began an intense monthly study called Christ-life Institute. I realize now it was only “head knowledge” that kept rolling around inside my intellect; a deeper journey was still before me.
My life has been a profound search for my True identity. Early on I was one who loved to explore the world of the intellect.
Approaching life from an innate curiosity and love of life, I ventured into marriage at the tender age of 18, thinking I was made to be a mother and a wife.
Interestingly enough, I loved married life, having two beautiful sons early on, but my husband was not so content, and so at the age of 24, I found myself divorced.
I think it was then thatGod really began to woo me. I had no man in my life to fill the void deep within for a loving relationship.
Free-spirited and in the ‘60’s, I began to investigate the free-love movement and started experimenting with drugs and alcohol.
Before I knew it my new identity became that of sex, drugs, rock-and-roll and motherhood, unfortunately in that order.
For years, it was “fun,” discovering a world of “if it feels good do it” mentality, so young and so desirous of feeling free. It was then the spiritual bondage really began.
I had been raised as a Catholic and found no loving God there.
I grew up believing God was waiting to send me to Hell. Guilt and shame were always somehow connected to the things of God.
Therefore, I had no desire to have anything to do with any belief system even vaguely connected to Jesus Christ.
Deep inside began a hunger to know why I was here. Drugs served to induce deep, stirring experiences of love and a sense that there was a dimension beyond this Earth and time.
First, I ventured into the world of the
occult, astrology, eastern religion and metaphysics. Even then my Father was working in me, drawing me ever nearer to Him.
Getting into ESP in the late ‘70’s, I began to believe I was God; that was a heady experience!
I became tired of the bar scene, the revolving door through which passed men and more men. Not knowing where to turn, I met a “back-slidden” Christian at a bar who spoke to me of a personal God, and Jesus, His Son.
Part of me laughed at what I thought to be a cosmic joke.
Part of me listened intently as I had met for the first time a man who had something bigger in his life than his ego. Then slowly, the Spirit drew.
I began studying the Bible, going to church, crying throughout the entire service as the Holy Spirit softened my hardened heart and conviction set in. Gently, the Father wooed me, and I came broken and humbled, a sweet surrender at last to my loving Father as I asked Christ into my life while home alone one night.
I woke up the next morning feeling as if my heart was bursting out of my chest, a confirmation that He had truly come into my life and that He was real, a precious memory that sweetly and clearly lives in my heart and mind to this very day.
I fervently immersed myself in church, Bible studies and any and all Christian activities I could find. I became a “doer,” not knowing anything else at the time. But again gently, the Spirit began to teach me and placed in me the deepest hunger to know God.
This Jesus I’d shunned for so long became my greatest desire. Mercifully, the Father placed a couple in my path and introduced me to the message of Christ in me.
I began an intense monthly study called Christ-life Institute. I realize now it was only “head knowledge” that kept rolling around inside my intellect; a deeper journey was still before me.