Self-righteous

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Brandon777

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I put myself down too much. There. I'm doing it again! There I did it again! and so on... How do I loosen up without losing the urgency to holy living? I've done wrong things, and I've been full of zeal for God. How do I reconcile who I am and who I'm supposed to be?

I've driven myself to loneliness because people aren't good enough to be my friend, or I'd rather just keep to myself. I'm quiet, and uncomfortable in big social settings where I know the people who are kind to each other aren't kind to me. They aren't comfortable with someone quiet, so I'm not comfortable with them because they reject me for it when I do try to speak and be friendly.

I want to be healed of everything that's wrong with me so badly that I keep reminding myself how it could be while being blinded to the reality that God works all things together for good to those that love Him right here in the evil days of the earth.
 
Honestly I struggle with very similar problems. I'm by no means a group person. I like to be relatively alone. Maybe 2-3 people. And I'm getting to where I can be in larger groups because I expose myself to it more. I started by just chatting with someone. If there's two people I pick one and the other usually will involve themselves (from my experience) I've made a few friends that way. You don't have to be extremely bold or anything. Mark Twain said, "Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward, it is not a compliment to say it is brave".
 
When I was younger I was bullied and it affected my life, to the point where I had no confidence and I missed out on some of my childhood. It was a struggle for me and I used to be very quiet as a result. I had backsliden as a Christian, so I was not putting faith in God or anything. I was too concerned about things happening in the world.

It's ok to be quiet and not so much of a big group person. Not everyone is designed to be a certain way. Everyone is different, so don't think that because you're quiet that it makes you different. I think, if anything, you just lack confidence. Confidence is something you build through getting yourself out there more and putting yourself in a situation that you try to avoid can help you to become used to it and break out of a cycle. This is something I've done and it worked for me.

I now have come back to God and have a relationship with him through prayer. Praying to God everyday is a great way to start the day - asking him to help guide you, to keep you calm in a situation that you are worried about, etc, etc. You cant beat the power of prayer.

Feel free to email me if you want any advice :)
 
Everyone is different, so don't think that because you're quiet that it makes you different.
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Well it does actually. The the other camp counselors my age at the summer camp thought so enough to exclude me from their tables. I tried a lot of tables mind you. I didn't feel comfortable at any of them.
Praying to God everyday is a great way to start the day - asking him to help guide you, to keep you calm in a situation that you are worried about, etc, etc. You cant beat the power of prayer.
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As much as prayer goes. I talk to God whenever I find something to say to Him. It's continual and not forced, although not cyclical and rhythmic. My problem isn't with worry. It's about being uncomfortable. People are mean, let's face it. I don't want to be teased, lied to, manipulated ect... My age group, in the culture we live in, is immature, spoiled, thankful and pretty much messed up every which way there is. It's partly due to a lack of solid Christian doctrine, but also it's the weakness of the Christians of my generation.
 
I'm not sure that there's anything wrong with you, Brandon. It's not self-righteous to only want friends who are genuine and accept you just the way God made you; I think it shows a maturity that many your age lack. There is also nothing wrong with being quiet, although, admittedly, many are unnerved by it (probably because they are wondering what you are thinking). Many who meet me one-on-one would assume that I am outgoing and personable, but in group settings I'm very quiet. not shy, just quiet. If others would rather talk, I'm happy to just listen, and I'm good at it. Most quiet people are good listeners. There is a verse somewhere in the bible (don't ask me where, I'm not good at that) that goes something along the lines of "happy is a man whose heart condemmeth not himself" (not a direct quote, people, don't message me). But you get the point; don't be too hard on yourself, embrace the way God made you. However, if you feel like an area of your life needs improvement, I would ask God specifically for help in that area. For instance, a few years ago I realized that I was too indecisive and changed my mind a lot (actually, it was the comments of other people that really helped me realize I had a problem). So, I told God that I didn't want to be seen as wishy- washy, and to please help me make my yea be yea and my nay be nay. I also made a conscious effort to do better, and I would say that it has worked; I am no longer any less decisive than your average female:)
 
Snackersmom said:
I'm not sure that there's anything wrong with you, Brandon. It's not self-righteous to only want friends who are genuine and accept you just the way God made you; I think it shows a maturity that many your age lack. There is also nothing wrong with being quiet, although, admittedly, many are unnerved by it (probably because they are wondering what you are thinking). Many who meet me one-on-one would assume that I am outgoing and personable, but in group settings I'm very quiet. not shy, just quiet. If others would rather talk, I'm happy to just listen, and I'm good at it. Most quiet people are good listeners. There is a verse somewhere in the bible (don't ask me where, I'm not good at that) that goes something along the lines of "happy is a man whose heart condemmeth not himself" (not a direct quote, people, don't message me). But you get the point; don't be too hard on yourself, embrace the way God made you. However, if you feel like an area of your life needs improvement, I would ask God specifically for help in that area. For instance, a few years ago I realized that I was too indecisive and changed my mind a lot (actually, it was the comments of other people that really helped me realize I had a problem). So, I told God that I didn't want to be seen as wishy- washy, and to please help me make my yea be yea and my nay be nay. I also made a conscious effort to do better, and I would say that it has worked; I am no longer any less decisive than your average female:)
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i agree with what your saying deffintily i resemble everything your saying. and brandon i hear exactly where where your coming from and have had some of the same issues too , bullying manipulation and teasing have also been a big issue in my life to the point where ive struggled to trust people even when there genuine... the truth is only you can change that, Gods given you a sprit of love power and strngth to be who who hes called you to be, to know who you are in him and be confident in who you are, dont put yourself down
 
For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of self-control. II Timothy 1:7
 
Brandon777 said:
I put myself down too much. There. I'm doing it again! There I did it again! and so on... How do I loosen up without losing the urgency to holy living? I've done wrong things, and I've been full of zeal for God. How do I reconcile who I am and who I'm supposed to be?

I've driven myself to loneliness because people aren't good enough to be my friend, or I'd rather just keep to myself. I'm quiet, and uncomfortable in big social settings where I know the people who are kind to each other aren't kind to me. They aren't comfortable with someone quiet, so I'm not comfortable with them because they reject me for it when I do try to speak and be friendly.

I want to be healed of everything that's wrong with me so badly that I keep reminding myself how it could be while being blinded to the reality that God works all things together for good to those that love Him right here in the evil days of the earth.
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Focus on God and not yourself.

Ask God what needs to be done. IF you look around you and ask "how can I show God's love to the world" you will see other people's problems and issues and then you must pray "how can I help O Lord?" and then God will reveal to you ways you can help: listen, pray with them, give them words of encouragement, read the Bible together. spend time engaged in praising the Lord and loving one another as God loves us: unconditionally.

that's what I do. I recognize its not about me but about GOD. it doesn't matter how I feel about me. that I'm worthless is true. without God I'm worthless, but WITH GOD I'm priceless.

Do you have faith and trust God when He calls you His beloved child?

here is a song that comes to mind. May God bless you.

YouTube - ‪The Truth About Me Mandisa (lyrics)‬‏

believe the Truth about YOU. :)
 
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