Sick of Sin

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ForthAngel

ForthAngel

Senior Member
Aug 31, 2012
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This is just one more thread to reinforce the belief that I am crazy in people who have kept up with stuff I write lol. Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else experiences physical sickness after sinning? Let me explain. First of all, I know my sins, some of them, have been done with intentions of blatant defiance. I knew they were wrong when I committed them; my conscience warned me before I committed them and I refused to listen. Some of my sins have been major, surpassing anything most people do. At least in introspect. May not be that bad in others eyes. Problem is, some of my sins have been premeditated and deliberate. Never just caught up in the moment type of thing. Most were just spur of the moment though or without thinking through what I was doing.

Anyway, I noticed after certain sins, mostly sexual sins, but not exclusively, I get this sick feeling. Like let's say I went to a party and there was a girl I met there. I talk to this girl for a couple hours, and don my mask of deceit, with no other intention than sleeping with her. let's say I knew this girl for quite a while before now, and knew for a fact she was into me. She's, for the most part, a good girl. I take advantage of her naivety and sleep with her, and then never call her or anything after that. Well sometime after the sin, I will be reflecting on it, and how I misused her and abused her trust and good nature. I would literally have this feeling of physical repulsion overtake me and would get sick to my stomach, and even in some cases puke, or at least gag. I've noticed with other sins that I also get this feeling of repulsion when I think about it. I haven't seen anything in scripture about this I don't think.

I don't expect anyone saying this happens to them or even any comments. I am probably just insane. I just write sometimes so people can read and maybe relate somehow. Peace. Maybe I'm just too hard on myself.
 
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Hey ForthAngel, I think I've experienced similar things before. I've noticed it. All I know is in this life, you reap what you sow.
Anyway, you're not insane. I've learned the hard way that it's best to listen to your conscience that God put in you because sin will ultimately lead to death, whether spiritually or physically. God's plan will always be what is best for us
 
honestly, i kind of think your story was much a sin against yourself, as it was against God and her.
you may well pray to God for forgiveness, but you also need to ask it of her - face to face; and then you need to forgive yourself (once your wounds heal!).....
God says if we truly repent, He will forgive us, she may never - but that is her choice; you need to because you need to heal in this area obviously. like a twisted ankle, that will be your weakness probably the rest of your life, you need to learn how to keep from re-injuring yourself in this area.

and you are not alone. no I have not managed anything like your story. but, I failed by willingly, knowingly, with the best of intentions - lie to a dying friend, so that they could pass in peace. and they did that night. but it was like a piece of me died in that moment. i would probably do it again, under the same circumstances, but it was still sin and I did confess it. that does not make me any less the failure - at least in that regard.

my usual failures (pride) makes me look like a putz at times. and i hate that beyond all else but "what's a mother to do?" confess, repent, try to fail less frequently next time (especially when attacked).....
 
chip said:
honestly, i kind of think your story was much a sin against yourself, as it was against God and her.
you may well pray to God for forgiveness, but you also need to ask it of her - face to face; and then you need to forgive yourself (once your wounds heal!).....
God says if we truly repent, He will forgive us, she may never - but that is her choice; you need to because you need to heal in this area obviously. like a twisted ankle, that will be your weakness probably the rest of your life, you need to learn how to keep from re-injuring yourself in this area.

and you are not alone. no I have not managed anything like your story. but, I failed by willingly, knowingly, with the best of intentions - lie to a dying friend, so that they could pass in peace. and they did that night. but it was like a piece of me died in that moment. i would probably do it again, under the same circumstances, but it was still sin and I did confess it. that does not make me any less the failure - at least in that regard.

my usual failures (pride) makes me look like a putz at times. and i hate that beyond all else but "what's a mother to do?" confess, repent, try to fail less frequently next time (especially when attacked).....
Click to expand...

This was just a made up story Chip mirroring some of the things I did in my past. I think sometimes the sickness came from anxiety from the guilt I was feeling. Always been a compassionate person for the most part but I was always willing myself to do things that went against my nature. I would fight against my natural aversion to certain activities and participate in them anyway. That repulsion I mentioned was the result of the anxiety I felt after betraying my core beliefs. I just always thought it was odd that I felt sick after recognizing how evil my actions really were. The people I've hurt, I will not have the chance to reconcile with.
 
well cool, i was a little taken back by it!
but i like your expression "betraying my core beliefs".
my father was a world class liar and even as a small child I could recognize this (he died when I was 9) and i "knew" it was wrong. which is why i am so PAINFULLY aware of having told one.

like you, i too relive the hurt i have done others - i was a horrible teenager! but then life made no sense to me, all i saw was death after death in my family, and i reacted as can be expected. were it not for God finding me in my 18th year, i know i never would have made it in life this long. i am going to guess that praying for three straight years, daily for peace, God was able to help me to come to terms with myself over my past.
 
you know its funny you posted this because lately I have told God how I cant wait to have to never deal with sin again. It really makes you feel like your soul gets slimmed sometimes huh.
 
GodssSon said:
Hey ForthAngel, I think I've experienced similar things before. I've noticed it. All I know is in this life, you reap what you sow.
Anyway, you're not insane. I've learned the hard way that it's best to listen to your conscience that God put in you because sin will ultimately lead to death, whether spiritually or physically. God's plan will always be what is best for us
Click to expand...
YOU DO REAP WHAT YOU SOW I IS/am a HUGE BELIEVER OF THIS!!!! SOW WISELY[sew-sew!!!!!!!]....
 
wow what a coulmn im just like that i feel that way too ; we all learn including me ;from our mistakes we are not perfect in anyway and yes its true we reap what we sow ; but i struggle everyday wth this i go to GOD word he will judge me not man and rest assure it takes a real christian man to admit his down fall to many people these days dont have a concouse or just dont care about what thyve done GOD took our sins when he died on the cross ; and yes you are hard on yourself me too lets turn our sins over to GOD and pray our enamies flee i will read my bible and pray for you i also sruggle wth this too ; jusus loves you ; and what you said i couldnt have set it better myself ;
 
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