I don't want to say that it is easier for guys with children to date etc.....but in a round about way it is.
That's exactly what you're saying and your right. Because for better or for worse, the reality* is that most children of single parents spend most of their time with their mothers.The only kids I know that spend equal time with each parent are those who's parents divorced when they were in their 30's. But as far as dating single dads: here's my opinion. It is my preception** that children of single dads probably have more baggage. A friend of mine recently married a single dad who has little girl. The mother is out there, but out of the picture. I can't imagine how hard that must be for that little girl. I mean, if your dad doesn't want to have anything to do with you, that's one thing, and that's hard, especially for a boy. But if your mother, who gave birth to you and nursed you doesn't want to have anything to do with you, wow, that would just be unimaginable for me. Or I knew a single dad who's since remarried. His wife was diagnosed with a very serious form of cancer when she gave birth to their second child. Becasue she was pregnant and a bit overweight they didn't notice how big the tumor had become. She died ten months later and in that time the newborn and the three year old spent almost no time with their mother, not enough time with their father, and too much time with an endless string of volunteers from church. The stiuation was unavoidable but at the time I was studying child psychology and I remember thinking "Wow, this is a really bad situation for the kids." Well, the kids ended up adjusting very well to their stepmom, they are 9 and 13 now and they're doing just fine. I've been plesasently surprised by how well they've been doing because you'd think that kids who lost their mom at such a young age would have some serious emotional baggage. Come to think of it, my best friend when I was a kid lost her mom to cancer when she was three and her father's remarriage was also a smooth transition. Maybe it is easier for single dads to remarry...
Ok, but widowed fathers aside. I've never watched the Bachelor, but on a talk show they were talking about how this season, for the first time, the Bachelor is a single dad. And, they said that for the women, that's like hitting the jackpot, because then they know that he loves children. I was surprised, but that's what they said.
Again, like I said, they're out there, you just have to find them. Just keep looking. I recommend you read How to get a Date Worth Keeping by Dr. Henry Cloud. He makes finding the right person sound like a full time job, and as single mom you don't have that kind of time, but there's no reason why you have pursue dating with that kind of intensity.
-Ancilla
*I don't have an actual statistic in front of me, so this is actually an assumption, even tough it's a safe assumption. I just don't like it when people state assumptions as if they were fact which is precisely what I just did.
**Again, this is an assumption, so please take it with a grain of salt.
.. The blessing about being a christian is that the Lord can be both a father and a husband that is supportive, faithful, honest, compassionate, and genuinely loving. I know I haven't met anyone like him and could not think of a better roll model for my kids. But keep the faith cuz there are some really awesome men with and without kids.
