sister-in-law problem

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mrsbeans

Guest
#1
#1
My brother recently found the love of his life and I am so glad that he is happy. she however comes with a lot of baggage, 3 teenagers. All four of them (kids and the mom) are very selfish, disrespectful and manipulative. I have not found anyone in the family or among my brothers friends who like any of them. We all keep our mouths shut though out of love for my brother. They were just married this past weekend and through the past couple of days it has come to my attention just how much the sister-in-law has manipulated and used our mother to make "her" wedding happen. she has asked to her pay for quite more than anyone should and had her do almost all the decorating and preperation the morning of the wedding by herself, she is nearly 70 years old. On top of that I learned from many attendees that they had offered to help with the wedding and were told that they weren't needed because mom had everything covered. My mother is just about kindest person you would ever meet. She would be horrified if she could not do something for someone who was in need. The sister-in-law figured this out very quickly and consequently gets her to do anything and everything. I just stood by and watched because mom is a big girl and can make her own decisions, we have even talked about the situation and have put it all in God's hands, BUT when mom came running to me at the wedding in tears and physically shaking I am now questioning whether I need to do or say something. I just don't know how to step in without hurting my brother and my mom. Mom just won't stand up for herself and I don't believe God wants her go be a doormat, I don't think that glorifies his name. Any guidance is greatly appreciated.
 
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shekaniah

Guest
#2
#2
Hi msbeans,

You sound like your very sweet just like your mom. And that you would never even dream about taking advantage of someone else.
That is why it is such a shock to you...that your brothers new wife is using your mom.

If I were in your shoes... I would pray and ask God for the wisdom how to talk to your brother's and his wife.
Some people don't have the insight to understand that when you get older you don't have the energy to do
a lot of physical work. You have the know how, you might even have the time...but lack stamina.
You could just gently remind your brother how old your mom is...and that they should be helping her.

I feel it is our job to protect our parents, just like they cared for and protected us growing up.

Your brother may be attracted to the fact that she is so needy, it makes some men feel good to be needed.

I will pray that God gives you all insight and understanding into this situation.
May you know when to give grace, and when to take a stand for your mom.
In Jesus Loving Name, amen
 
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mrsbeans

Guest
#3
#3
thank you so much for the insight. with much prayer today I think I was coming to the same conclusion. Is such a blessing to hear it from a 3rd party. I was not familiar with the verse either, may possibly go on my favorites list.
 
C

CatWoman

Guest
#4
#4
I think thats a great idea. I all so think it would be great for you to be a suport system for your mom so she can stand up to your sister in law. Many times in my life I have chosen to do the unpopular thing because it was the right thing to do.Afterwords people would come up to me and privatley tell me I did the right thing but no one had the guts to stand up beside me and suport what I had to say.
 
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