C
Hi.. i just wanna share an excerpt from the story of my life.
Here it is:
When i was young, i have so many crushes and am imagining that someday i will enter a church with a guy (the one who is really for me)
When I became a Christian and accepted Him in my life, I become a serious person and I no longer easily fall to someone even when he is handsome/kind/or whatever.
All i wanted is a man who is really a Christian and a musician (because i am also in music ministry)
Then, i knew a lot of people who are really good in music including CHristians and non-christians.
i have had suitors and all of them are my crushes, but if they'll come near me i will no longer have the intense feeling lke what i felt b4 they court me... feelings will suddenly gone.. thats the reason why i never had a boyfriend yet.
one day i woke up and my SUPER CRUSH started to come close to me everyday. He is also a Christian and a musician. He is a man with a great testimony and a great personality.
Because im aware that my fried has a crush on him, and he have a previous crush also to her. so i tried to go away from him. Even though it hurts because i love him so much, still i cant be a cause to hurt my friend. So i push him away from me trying to bring him back to my friend..
I talked to him, gave some advices (but not specifically pertaining to the situation) and i disappear for some weeks.
After a months (of lesser) i just knew that they are back to their relationship. And my friend was able to knew all that had happened. So she always telling me when they go out for date, their moments and their hugs etc............
that really hurts, i realized that he just used me to let my friend realized what she let go of... I dont know if what i have realized is true or just a part of my imagination...
Now, im alright, i dont feel any intense feeling about him anymore..
Now, they are alright, they are in pledge for future more than just bf/gf...
Me again? Im alright i hve another suitor, but i dont feel any love for them (just for friends and nothing more to expect)
Now? I dont have any crushes or admiration for others, i become numb,, though i have moved on, the consequence is that i cant feel that i hve feelings for anyone...
I feel so abnormal........ im emotionless ...and that's what make me worried about my self...
Here it is:
When i was young, i have so many crushes and am imagining that someday i will enter a church with a guy (the one who is really for me)
When I became a Christian and accepted Him in my life, I become a serious person and I no longer easily fall to someone even when he is handsome/kind/or whatever.
All i wanted is a man who is really a Christian and a musician (because i am also in music ministry)
Then, i knew a lot of people who are really good in music including CHristians and non-christians.
i have had suitors and all of them are my crushes, but if they'll come near me i will no longer have the intense feeling lke what i felt b4 they court me... feelings will suddenly gone.. thats the reason why i never had a boyfriend yet.
one day i woke up and my SUPER CRUSH started to come close to me everyday. He is also a Christian and a musician. He is a man with a great testimony and a great personality.
Because im aware that my fried has a crush on him, and he have a previous crush also to her. so i tried to go away from him. Even though it hurts because i love him so much, still i cant be a cause to hurt my friend. So i push him away from me trying to bring him back to my friend..
I talked to him, gave some advices (but not specifically pertaining to the situation) and i disappear for some weeks.
After a months (of lesser) i just knew that they are back to their relationship. And my friend was able to knew all that had happened. So she always telling me when they go out for date, their moments and their hugs etc............
that really hurts, i realized that he just used me to let my friend realized what she let go of... I dont know if what i have realized is true or just a part of my imagination...
Now, im alright, i dont feel any intense feeling about him anymore..
Now, they are alright, they are in pledge for future more than just bf/gf...
Me again? Im alright i hve another suitor, but i dont feel any love for them (just for friends and nothing more to expect)
Now? I dont have any crushes or admiration for others, i become numb,, though i have moved on, the consequence is that i cant feel that i hve feelings for anyone...
I feel so abnormal........ im emotionless ...and that's what make me worried about my self...