S
So yeah, it looks like the real cause of my lonelyness is actually a lack of a good relationship with God. It just never occured to me that could be the reason since I thought I was having a good relationship with. Mostly it was just ackeleging that he's there and inside us. And mostly just talking to him when I needed to complain, or when something was wrong. The thing is that I have more of a intellectual relationship with God, where I was just trying to learn more and more about him, but it turns out that isn't a real relationship. So really what's being a in a real relationship with God like, and how do you make it grow?
My ramblings to God mainly consist of the question why??? Also I spend a lot of time just telling him I am sorry for acting like such a fool on a daily basis. That is of course when I speak to him. I'll be honest. There's many times I don't even feel it's worth bothering him with my nonsense...I know he cares about me in every way,but I also realize that by now I should have a handle on things & I feel I am only wasting my breath bringing up certain things before him. Anyone else ever feel that way? Nah...lol yer' all super christians,I doubt you ever have any issues. j/k
lol...I feel when I start asking why? & what? too much then I start hearing one name over & over in my head. Job. Speaking of Job,did you know that his life was the original country music song? lol
...Don't forget I'm from Oklahoma , pure country here lol
So what about hearing from God when he's talking to us. And also what about God's pressence?
As to the presence of God, experience has taught me that God Is Present, all the time, but when I feel that He is not, it is that I have something on my end (such as a problem with my heart) that is making me further from Him despite Him not being any further from me.
Actually God gave me a good revalation that he's in us(Holy Spirit) and always with us. Well I knew before but it just made it more real. That's part of the reason I into the, if God is in me then were are in constent fellowship. And the reason that you are feeling further from he is probably rooted in condemnation. Which is probably part of my part of my problem. I mean I don't feel condemned, but apprently it still can be part of the problem even if you're not feeling it.
i guess its like any relationship. you spend time together, share sorrow and joys, dreams, ask for advice, give thanksgiving, etc.
just learning about God is like you having a crush on someone and just stalking them to see what they are like and they do and researching their life without ever talking to them and spending time with them in real life.
kind of creepy... but don't worry God still loves you anyway.
The bible says there is no condemnation in Christ, however, it doesn't say that others (including ourselves) won't heap condemnation on us. Usually, we're our own worst enemies. Remember the story of Adam and Eve in the garden? Ya know, after they sinned they realized they were naked, and then what did they do? They hid. They hid like children. But why did they hide (separating themselves from God even further)? They hid because of fear and immaturity. Self condemnation does that. It causes fear and reverts us to an immature state. In Godly maturity, we realize we've sinned, and instead of existing in denial, we go to our Father and admit what we've done. Had Adam stepped up and said, "Lord, we messed up big time", the outcome may have been different. But Adam was fearful and spiritually immature. Just think, all that time he walked in the garden with God, he was still immature. It's proof that a certain quantity of time with God doesn't make you mature.
And as for not feeling things... ahh, denial. Denial is a fun defense mechanism. And by fun I mean a pain in the tuchus! Denial has a time and place (such as working through physical pain, surviving abuse, etc) but it doesn't have a place in emotional and spiritual health. Just because you aren't recognizing what you're feeling, doesn't mean you aren't feeling it. It just means you refuse to admit it. I do believe it's possible to not fully know how you feel about something, but your psyche DOES know. It gives you little hints every now and again. You can push something down all you like, but it will bubble up. It's like trying to keep a beach ball under water. With strength, you can keep it down, but eventually it will come to the surface. And there's nothing wrong with recognizing an issue for what it is! Let God bring things to the surface, and ask him about getting you out of denial. Admitting the truth to yourself can bring you such freedom. It's worth it in the long run.
I don't see the point in hiding anything from God when I talk to him 'cause He knows it all anyway. And if God knows it all, what's left for me to talk about? Thanks and supplications.
Most of this. There's a lot of value in venting to a friend who knows it all, whether that friend is in person or in spirit.