social torture

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Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
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restaurants these days seem quite noisy and hard for those with hearing aids/impairmens to have good conversations I find you have to sit next to the person to really talk to them (depending on how big the table is). At the Lords supper there were 12 and they were reclining on couches its not like its depicted in the painting of the Last supper with everyone on one side of a really long table.

I think smaller round tables of 2 or 3 are better than one huge big table, though large round tables are the norm for chinese restaurants and sharing food instead of individual plates (and less waste) I once took a work team to a yum cha restaurant and they loved it was a bit different to how they would normally eat.

Table manners and customs can be different everywhere you go, but people are just used to fast food now.
I always feel awkward being hungry, or not being able to finish something Ive ordered, or maybe being admonished for the way I eat. I imagine its like how being left handed is also annoying for some people.
Street food is different again, delicious, but you walk along carrying all your food on a tray and have to find somewhere to sit. What if theres nowhere to sit and all seats are taken? What then.

sometimes its just easier to eat by myself. Ive learned to survive that way rather than keep lunch dates when my lunch times are different to everyone else. Its nice to share meals but it sometimes can be awkward. If your friend talks with their mouth full of food or wants to smoke or wants you to have food that you cant eat or mocks you for the food you do eat then what?
 

wattie

Senior Member
Feb 24, 2009
3,053
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New Zealand
restaurants these days seem quite noisy and hard for those with hearing aids/impairmens to have good conversations I find you have to sit next to the person to really talk to them (depending on how big the table is). At the Lords supper there were 12 and they were reclining on couches its not like its depicted in the painting of the Last supper with everyone on one side of a really long table.

I think smaller round tables of 2 or 3 are better than one huge big table, though large round tables are the norm for chinese restaurants and sharing food instead of individual plates (and less waste) I once took a work team to a yum cha restaurant and they loved it was a bit different to how they would normally eat.

Table manners and customs can be different everywhere you go, but people are just used to fast food now.
I always feel awkward being hungry, or not being able to finish something Ive ordered, or maybe being admonished for the way I eat. I imagine its like how being left handed is also annoying for some people.
Street food is different again, delicious, but you walk along carrying all your food on a tray and have to find somewhere to sit. What if theres nowhere to sit and all seats are taken? What then.

sometimes its just easier to eat by myself. Ive learned to survive that way rather than keep lunch dates when my lunch times are different to everyone else. Its nice to share meals but it sometimes can be awkward. If your friend talks with their mouth full of food or wants to smoke or wants you to have food that you cant eat or mocks you for the food you do eat then what?
I can relate. I am not a fussy or high attention to small things person. So I can be clumsy.. and I have vision issues sometimes.

I'm more interested in social dynamics and theology than whether the window is closed and oven switch at the wall is turned off.

But yeah, Paul was adamant with the church at Corinth. If you look at the tone of the words he used .. it's mostly rebuke and admonishing. Yet modern churches seem to want to follow in their footsteps.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
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corinth is like I imagine california looks to some people
A place where anything goes.

It would be hard to learn gracious living where people are sort of born to be wild as part of their culture lol
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
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I was a bit better last sunday and just went up to people and talked and tried to make others who seemed by themselves welcome, but, I am wondering if I need to stay on there, maybe God is calling me somewhere else, as nobody really came up to me and there was a dog running round loose in the carpark.
Some odd things happen at that church that I'm not that ok with. I cant put put my finger on it.
I also dont understand why there is nobody at the church manse and its rented out to unbelievers and it seems they dont bother to look after the church grounds. I thought a minister would at least live on site.

I can only do so much and there seemed to be so much bureaucracy (annual reports are given like 'performance reviews') that nothing ever gets done. I remember saying to one pastor wouldnt it be cool to have scripture up in the church hall in big writing so everyone can see but nothing ever got done and the last time I was down there there was a sign up celebrating eid which is an islamic festival. Because the church is hosting a multicultural playgroup.

Ok I get that others are using the space but when there is no mention of Jesus Christ anywhere or his word isnt obvious then whats the point of having a church hall.

Im sorry im a bit frustrated at the moment. There are many churches around and sometimes its hard to go to them when youve had bad experiences with people who arent welcoming OR ones that are too friendly and then you find some thing is wrong with them later. Sheep dont want to be around wolves.
 

wattie

Senior Member
Feb 24, 2009
3,053
1,032
113
New Zealand
I was a bit better last sunday and just went up to people and talked and tried to make others who seemed by themselves welcome, but, I am wondering if I need to stay on there, maybe God is calling me somewhere else, as nobody really came up to me and there was a dog running round loose in the carpark.
Some odd things happen at that church that I'm not that ok with. I cant put put my finger on it.
I also dont understand why there is nobody at the church manse and its rented out to unbelievers and it seems they dont bother to look after the church grounds. I thought a minister would at least live on site.

I can only do so much and there seemed to be so much bureaucracy (annual reports are given like 'performance reviews') that nothing ever gets done. I remember saying to one pastor wouldnt it be cool to have scripture up in the church hall in big writing so everyone can see but nothing ever got done and the last time I was down there there was a sign up celebrating eid which is an islamic festival. Because the church is hosting a multicultural playgroup.

Ok I get that others are using the space but when there is no mention of Jesus Christ anywhere or his word isnt obvious then whats the point of having a church hall.

Im sorry im a bit frustrated at the moment. There are many churches around and sometimes its hard to go to them when youve had bad experiences with people who arent welcoming OR ones that are too friendly and then you find some thing is wrong with them later. Sheep dont want to be around wolves.
I understand this. I've had a pastor who we would do all sorts together. Regular meet ups for dinner and coffee/tea... went to another country with others as a group together. But his family got bigger and he got completely committed to pastoring and so I lost regular contact. Only Sunday.

I also had another friend at the church who I'd meet with every week to do dinner and bible study. They have gone to another country. Haven't had contact with them personally for over a year now I think. Just through facebook.

Now my church has merged with another.. but there was no consultation.. no talking about it. I went away for a long weekend holiday.. came back and got messaged we are worshipping with a different church.

It's like I've been completely cut off. 'Cancelled'... even though I didn't think Christians did 'cancelling'.

So I got some things to work through. The new church I am in now is very good. And I am starting to get some conversation going with the leaders. The pastor who has cut me off.. I don't expect communication from him now.. just let him be. So hopefully in time I'll see God sorting things.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
113
Its really tough at the moment in my walk
I feel like I dont have anyone around to lead and guide except for Jesus like Im going through Psalm 23

Except here you cant even really go for a walk really you have to hop in a car and fight traffic.
 

Lanolin

Well-known member
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
7,177
113
I understand this. I've had a pastor who we would do all sorts together. Regular meet ups for dinner and coffee/tea... went to another country with others as a group together. But his family got bigger and he got completely committed to pastoring and so I lost regular contact. Only Sunday.

I also had another friend at the church who I'd meet with every week to do dinner and bible study. They have gone to another country. Haven't had contact with them personally for over a year now I think. Just through facebook.

Now my church has merged with another.. but there was no consultation.. no talking about it. I went away for a long weekend holiday.. came back and got messaged we are worshipping with a different church.

It's like I've been completely cut off. 'Cancelled'... even though I didn't think Christians did 'cancelling'.

So I got some things to work through. The new church I am in now is very good. And I am starting to get some conversation going with the leaders. The pastor who has cut me off.. I don't expect communication from him now.. just let him be. So hopefully in time I'll see God sorting things.
are you in Christchurch?
If you are am wondering how thats going. Aucks is pretty bad. So many want to leave but the Lord hasnt said where to go yet and I dont have family anywhere else. I can only go where the work is. If I can even get to it.
 

wattie

Senior Member
Feb 24, 2009
3,053
1,032
113
New Zealand
are you in Christchurch?
If you are am wondering how thats going. Aucks is pretty bad. So many want to leave but the Lord hasnt said where to go yet and I dont have family anywhere else. I can only go where the work is. If I can even get to it.
Yeah in Christchurch. It's okay here. We've been pretty lucky. We got a bit of flooding here but it was more rural areas that copped it. Plains flooded.

Weather is coming right this week. Good forecast.
 

wattie

Senior Member
Feb 24, 2009
3,053
1,032
113
New Zealand
Crime wise.. it's ok here.. it's always had an underground extensive drug culture and prostitution happening out of sight, but not the raiding and gang violence so much.
 
Mar 1, 2021
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Thank you, do you have a link to get the app I’m really struggling with this I’m hoping app will be easier
 

Cameron143

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2022
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Thank you, do you have a link to get the app I’m really struggling with this I’m hoping app will be easier
I think there is a place to get the app. If you go to the main screen, one of the forums tells where it is. But it won't take long for someone who knows to chime in.
 

Cameron143

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2022
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It’s a broken link 😞
Someone else might know and respond with another way. You could also go to the tech forum and post. The geeks....I mean the smart people will help you.
 

Lynx

Folksy yet erudite
Aug 13, 2014
24,942
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Howdy OhCarolinaa and welcome to the forum.

That app is for live chat, and (as far as I know) live chat is no longer operational. Sorry about that.
 

Cameron143

Well-known member
Mar 1, 2022
14,738
5,317
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Howdy OhCarolinaa and welcome to the forum.

That app is for live chat, and (as far as I know) live chat is no longer operational. Sorry about that.
See...I told you the geeks...I mean smart people would know.