Spouses and different places of worship

[kittysnax]

Can somebody share any stories with me of you and your spouse going to the same place of worship for years, but then just one wanting to branch off to another?

I have a deeper and longer spiritual background than my spouse does. I am curious about things and am always looking to learn more, especially the Bible. I find most of it fascinating, and like my mom did, I want to share with my family, but don't. I don't because I don't get any reciprocal interest. Somebody might direct their attention away from the tv to look at me, but then they go right back to what they were doing. So I figure why bother.
In other words I think those around me at home are either not so interested or else stagnant. My spouse is happy performing their job (volunteer service) at where we would go to worship, and I feel that is the only thing they go there for, much as I'd get a denial about that.

Meanwhile I have been reading the Bible in depth and practically want to "be there". I have also been seeing this house of worship as a step behind where I want to be, so I have gone elsewhere, even by myself. My spouse is ok with that, even though I've still gone to the other, quite regularly. I am getting to know people at the other place, but I'm not really interested in the people where my spouse goes anymore.

My mother was in the same situation with my dad in going to 2 separate churches. She hated his; he wasn't as spiritually keen or where she was, so he was very loyal to his. Whoever thought I would be in this same situation years later?!

How would one explain this to a clergyperson, should they ask where the "other half" is? And would the explaining spouse get a lecture if the clergy disagreed with the beliefs of the other type of house of worship?

Does anyone have any similar stories?

 

[Subhumanoidal]

Can somebody share any stories with me of you and your spouse going to the same place of worship for years, but then just one wanting to branch off to another?

I have a deeper and longer spiritual background than my spouse does. I am curious about things and am always looking to learn more, especially the Bible. I find most of it fascinating, and like my mom did, I want to share with my family, but don't. I don't because I don't get any reciprocal interest. Somebody might direct their attention away from the tv to look at me, but then they go right back to what they were doing. So I figure why bother.
In other words I think those around me at home are either not so interested or else stagnant. My spouse is happy performing their job (volunteer service) at where we would go to worship, and I feel that is the only thing they go there for, much as I'd get a denial about that.

Meanwhile I have been reading the Bible in depth and practically want to "be there". I have also been seeing this house of worship as a step behind where I want to be, so I have gone elsewhere, even by myself. My spouse is ok with that, even though I've still gone to the other, quite regularly. I am getting to know people at the other place, but I'm not really interested in the people where my spouse goes anymore.

My mother was in the same situation with my dad in going to 2 separate churches. She hated his; he wasn't as spiritually keen or where she was, so he was very loyal to his. Whoever thought I would be in this same situation years later?!

How would one explain this to a clergyperson, should they ask where the "other half" is? And would the explaining spouse get a lecture if the clergy disagreed with the beliefs of the other type of house of worship?

Does anyone have any similar stories?

I have never been married so I can't respond to the bulk of your post. But the ending is very simple.
If they ask, just tell them the truth. What other way would you need to go about it? Or if you dont want to tell them then just say you'd rather not share that info.
Bam. Easy.
I am guessing they likely wouldn't lecture you about your old church. I mean you're in their church now.
Not to mention it's unlikely at all that they would do so, unless you asked.
But if they did you might want to consider that it may not be the right place after all. It would seem rather inappropriate for them to begin openly bad mouthing another church.

 

[MsMediator]

I've known a few couples at church like this, where the other half only comes to our church for certain after-church events. They belong to different denominations. I think it is basically fine as long as the other is still attending church; it is better than if the other half just stayed at home and did not go to church at all. In the end, I don't think it really matters too much if they go to different churches but still show up for some after-church events. Whether you like this or not and whether or not this is true, it shows that the husband is accepting of his wife going to another church, or that the woman wears the pants in the relationship, or that they are respectful and openminded of eachother's beliefs.

 

[daisyseesthesun]

Can somebody share any stories with me of you and your spouse going to the same place of worship for years, but then just one wanting to branch off to another?

I have a deeper and longer spiritual background than my spouse does. I am curious about things and am always looking to learn more, especially the Bible. I find most of it fascinating, and like my mom did, I want to share with my family, but don't. I don't because I don't get any reciprocal interest. Somebody might direct their attention away from the tv to look at me, but then they go right back to what they were doing. So I figure why bother.
In other words I think those around me at home are either not so interested or else stagnant. My spouse is happy performing their job (volunteer service) at where we would go to worship, and I feel that is the only thing they go there for, much as I'd get a denial about that.

Meanwhile I have been reading the Bible in depth and practically want to "be there". I have also been seeing this house of worship as a step behind where I want to be, so I have gone elsewhere, even by myself. My spouse is ok with that, even though I've still gone to the other, quite regularly. I am getting to know people at the other place, but I'm not really interested in the people where my spouse goes anymore.

My mother was in the same situation with my dad in going to 2 separate churches. She hated his; he wasn't as spiritually keen or where she was, so he was very loyal to his. Whoever thought I would be in this same situation years later?!

How would one explain this to a clergyperson, should they ask where the "other half" is? And would the explaining spouse get a lecture if the clergy disagreed with the beliefs of the other type of house of worship?

Does anyone have any similar stories?

Maybe a Saturday church would solve your problem. You could attend Sunday church with your husband, and then he could attend your church on Saturday.

This is one of the reasons I'm terrified of getting married. We tend to get into the same situation as our parents. Perhaps it is even the same demon that tempts your father and grandfather tempts your own husband, or we just choose people that are similar to those we grew up with.

As for your children's disinterest in Christianity, well, that's to be expected. It wasn't interesting to me either until I got older. Meanwhile, try incorporating Christian movies into what they are watching, maybe on the Sabbath if you celebrate it? That would help with the distractions. There wouldn't be any. Many people are visual learners. It would demonstrate what a Christian should be and how much compassion our Father has for us sinners. The screwtape letters are also quite fun to listen to. Your children might like it

but anything by c.s Lewis gets the reader to think deeper about their faith. Also, letting the Bible be played in the background of the home is a good idea too. This softens the atmosphere of the house. Old Gospel music does this, too. Another thing my mother did growing up was put a picture of Christ near the TV. Anything that was even a little violent, well, it made me feel uneasy to watch with Christ Jesus looking right at you. Then, after that, she took the TV off in the house, and we read instead. but that is probably not an option in today's world. As for your husband, pray for him that his and your children's hearts can be opened to God. 1 Corinthians 7:14, Proverbs 22:6


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[Billyd]

Personally I feel that the entire family should worship together. That includes church attendance. I have not experienced the OP situation. If the churches meet at the same time, make up your mind which you, as a family, will attend. Else, move to a church suitable to both.

 

[daisyseesthesun]

My mother wanted to add this:

Pray for your husband. Make your request known through prayer to God, our Father, who loves you.

Music can go places the Bible can't. They won't accept the Bible, but they will accept songs. Jesus is just alright, alright, and Jesus takes the wheel. I've seen standing ovations for these songs in a crowd of sinners who would never attend church.
One night, I was invited by a colleague. Her husband and his friends were there, and I was sitting by this man named Johnny as he was drinking. I told him about God and how Jesus could change his life anytime. You can turn to the Lord, and he will have you. After that, one of the men who had been eavesdropping on our conversation said they dont want Jesus here and that their God was Beelzebub! the king of devils. Then I noticed that the whole group was angry. Johnny's entire face changed. They went berserk and looked like they would kill me. Then I started singing Jesus is alright, alright, and peace came over Johnny and others. A month later, I saw Johnny walking. He gave me a gentle, loving smile and an incognito five-finger wave from a safe distance. That was the last time I saw him.


One day, I was working at the salon, and a woman came in to see if we had time to cut her husband's hair. Then he sat in my chair. I just put on the cape on him, and this is how the conversation went.

He sat in my chair and started talking about how he detested dandelions. He said all the things he hated about them and wished he could kill all the dandelions on the face of the earth and wipe them all out. I said I like dandelions; they were my favourite flower growing up. I also said I liked the colour yellow and noticed that it makes me happy when I see it.

At this point, his eye was focused on my face. As he looked into my eyes, his eyes got bigger, and somehow, he knew I was a born-again Christian. He refused to let me cut his hair. He had verbal complaints against me. He wasn't going to have anyone who liked dandelions cut his hair! He had a different stylist cut his hair that night. It's always harder for the lost at night.

After they left, I found five dollars on the counter at my station. I asked how the money came to be there, and I discovered that his wife had given it to me for the unfair abuse of her husband.

I remembered the deep pain in her eyes. She had suffered a lot from him. He was mean and was quick to violence. She must have been married for at least 20 years. When she was in his presence, the kindness and affection she displayed toward him were likened to our Lord Jesus and how he treats us. His wife must have been quiet and didn't fight with him at all . Supernaturally, the Lord had to help her.

 

[KohenMatt]

I've counseled other couples as such...

Unity in corporate worship is vital. Wherever the spiritually "weaker" of the couple feels comfortable and ministered to is the place the spiritually "stronger" of the couple should go to. The "stronger", or more mature one can discern right from wrong, holy from common, righteous or unrighteous better than the "weaker" can. They can set aside their own perfections and ideals better and can pursue unity in marriage more easily than the weaker can.

So go where the spiritually "weaker" of the couple is ministered to the most, and pray and look forward to the day when our Lord brings your marriage into a greater sense of maturity and unity.