SS' s Date, Act 3: "Just a Spoonful of Sugar... Helps the Poison Slide Down."
Hi Everybody...
Thanks for bearing with me in this series of threads
. I really appreciate your time and thoughts.
Now, for the third act, I would like to know... what have your experiences been in dating "good Christian people" that later left you thinking, "Huh? What on earth was that???"
I myself am often amazed at how much we often take in more than a lethal dose of poison, as long as it's candy coated--and the thing is, we often don't realize it's poison until many years later.
For example (all true experiences from my own life
1. A note on my car saying, "You are a difficult person to like, LET ALONE love, but I do both..." (Gee, how flattering.)
2. The teacher, as I wrote about before, when I was 12 who told me I was "beautiful" and that he "wanted to help me"--that set a very damaging foundation in my mind that has taken a long time to chip away--what it told me was, "Any man who has something 'good' to say to you has terrible intentions behind it."
3. Good Christian men who tell me the problems of this world stem in the fact that women don't submit to their husbands (I don't have a problem with that, but I am amazed that men in return don't also state that they are to "love their wives as Christ loved the church.") Last time I knew, Jesus was mocked, whipped, scorned, and tortured to death for the Church. Why do so many good Christian men eagerly point out the woman's need to submit without telling us they are, in their own part, willing to be tortured and die for us just as Christ did for His bride?
4. In the case of this date, I was confused and in shock because all of the things he said were mixed in with a great conversation about faith, spiritual gifts, ministry---in other words, things I rarely get to about with someone openly and honestly, let alone a guy.
The thing is, sometimes you get so lonely that you sit there and take in the poison just for a chance to be able to have a bit of the candy coating, even if it doesn't last.
I know most people will disagree with this, but I have often told God, "God, if you set in front of me in one corner... a Christian man with a serious porn/sex addiction, and in the other corner... a sweet, polite guy who maybe has been hurt by the church and is seeking... but is open minded... and has a respectful attitude... PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME MARRY THE CHRISTIAN."
I know other people will slam me for this, but that's just my opinion. I so often run into guys who are either not Christians (but not hardened criminals either!! They're good guys who are sweet, smart, non-judmental and have lived cleaner lives than the Christians I've been around) or else ARE Christians... and... well... you can see what the results have been (first thread of this series.) This is not a particularly isolated event, because unfortunately, all the other Christian guys I've been around have also been like this, or else are taken, or are just a good friend.
I told a friend of mine... if I married a non-Christian with a good heart and morals, I'd feel like I'd have to live without my arms, because I couldn't talk to him about the most pressing issues of my life--my faith. And if I married a good Christian guy (who, seeing as how things seem to go in my life, has one or several issues) I'd feel as if I had to live the rest of my life without my legs.
What have your own personal experiences been?
Hi Everybody...
Thanks for bearing with me in this series of threads
. I really appreciate your time and thoughts.Now, for the third act, I would like to know... what have your experiences been in dating "good Christian people" that later left you thinking, "Huh? What on earth was that???"
I myself am often amazed at how much we often take in more than a lethal dose of poison, as long as it's candy coated--and the thing is, we often don't realize it's poison until many years later.
For example (all true experiences from my own life
1. A note on my car saying, "You are a difficult person to like, LET ALONE love, but I do both..." (Gee, how flattering.)
2. The teacher, as I wrote about before, when I was 12 who told me I was "beautiful" and that he "wanted to help me"--that set a very damaging foundation in my mind that has taken a long time to chip away--what it told me was, "Any man who has something 'good' to say to you has terrible intentions behind it."
3. Good Christian men who tell me the problems of this world stem in the fact that women don't submit to their husbands (I don't have a problem with that, but I am amazed that men in return don't also state that they are to "love their wives as Christ loved the church.") Last time I knew, Jesus was mocked, whipped, scorned, and tortured to death for the Church. Why do so many good Christian men eagerly point out the woman's need to submit without telling us they are, in their own part, willing to be tortured and die for us just as Christ did for His bride?
4. In the case of this date, I was confused and in shock because all of the things he said were mixed in with a great conversation about faith, spiritual gifts, ministry---in other words, things I rarely get to about with someone openly and honestly, let alone a guy.
The thing is, sometimes you get so lonely that you sit there and take in the poison just for a chance to be able to have a bit of the candy coating, even if it doesn't last.
I know most people will disagree with this, but I have often told God, "God, if you set in front of me in one corner... a Christian man with a serious porn/sex addiction, and in the other corner... a sweet, polite guy who maybe has been hurt by the church and is seeking... but is open minded... and has a respectful attitude... PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME MARRY THE CHRISTIAN."
I know other people will slam me for this, but that's just my opinion. I so often run into guys who are either not Christians (but not hardened criminals either!! They're good guys who are sweet, smart, non-judmental and have lived cleaner lives than the Christians I've been around) or else ARE Christians... and... well... you can see what the results have been (first thread of this series.) This is not a particularly isolated event, because unfortunately, all the other Christian guys I've been around have also been like this, or else are taken, or are just a good friend.
I told a friend of mine... if I married a non-Christian with a good heart and morals, I'd feel like I'd have to live without my arms, because I couldn't talk to him about the most pressing issues of my life--my faith. And if I married a good Christian guy (who, seeing as how things seem to go in my life, has one or several issues) I'd feel as if I had to live the rest of my life without my legs.
What have your own personal experiences been?
