The key here is tone. When you argue, we shout and bawl and we feel guilty afterwards. Guilt makes you want to blame someone else, just to get that 'dirty' feeling away from you. You need to accept thatit is guilt that makes you shift blame, both of you.
You need to find the soft spot again. You need to sit down and say to your partner 'I feel guilty about that, do you feel guilty too?'
And begin from there. Talk back and forth in simple terms and try to understand how each other are feeling. Do not point fingers. Use words like 'I feel that', and 'because that makes me feel'. It's best not to revert to 'you did this, you did that'.
try sincerely apologizing for your own actions and talk perhaps about your own flaws instead of your partners?
Just try anything to resolve it so that you are both very clear on the matter and can learn something from it.
I don't know about women so much, but I as a man, feel very guilty and like a bully almost, if I have had an intense argument with a woman. 'How can that gentle creature forgive me for abusing her'. Even though it's not abuse. she shouts at me, I shout at her. But I feel this intense shame after an argument and it makes me feel absolutely horrible to think that I've shown her my monster side. So think about that the next time.
His ego is bruised and his manhood is affected, simply because he's resorting to verbal force with you. It's very hard for a man to feel like his partner could love him after he has lashed out at her because we feel we need to be strong and level headed.
The best thing you can do is build his ego up again.
)! And it encouraged his sense of self-pride/importance. (don't get me wrong, I was at fault plenty!! I would say I have been responsible for 100% of our fights...
