I don't regret posting that, but I do feel better now. I went shopping with my mamma and talked with a good friend on the phone and have calmed down and rested in God. 
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I'm getting this out, but just ignore it, because it's partially due to a biological reason of being hyper-emotional right now (I'm legitimately jealous that males do not have their bodies turn against them emotionally and physically every month) but, two things.
One, I'm with you arwen, right now I'm not sure marriage is for me. My reasons are probably different than yours, but I understand where you're coming from. I don't know if I want to be that vulnerable with someone. I don't want to subject a man to have to deal with my scars, both my many, many ones on the outside and the ones I have on the inside. I like being by myself.
Two, and I understand totally where they are coming from, but it's easy for them to say, but my scars are NOT beautiful. They do not signify anything beautiful. They are hideous. What they signify is the absolute hatred I had for myself, my absolute lack of being smart enough to find a better outlet, my absolute sin in destroying the temple God gave me. And I'm stuck with them for life. Nothing can take them away. I wish they were inside scars. At least those you can hide, those people are more accepting of. The people who say that my scars are beautiful are the ones who have never seen them and likely don't have that kind of physical scarring themselves.
Maybe one day I'll accept them. I know that God accepts them, and loves me regardless. But He is so far above being a human, I can't expect that from anyone else. I imagine showing someone, and I imagine two reactions. One is the one I want, the other is afraid I'll get. "Oh...sheesh, yeah those ARE pretty bad..." while they dart their eyes back and forth because it's like a train wreck that they don't want to watch but they can't take their eyes from. And the other, where they just look me straight in the eye and say "Nothing has changed."
I know I'm a hypocrite, I posted a poem in the Poems forum a while back on how my scars could be made beautiful. But it's rare that I truly, 100% believe it. I want it to be less rare.
Sigh. End of my mess of a post. In about two hours when I've calmed down, I'm sure I'll regret posting this.
Rachel,
If God can create the universe,
surely he can create one special person to love you just the way you are.
I believe He can do this for each of us.
None of us are very perfect.
Rachel, you're right; it isn't the scars that are beautiful. The beauty is in the fact that you let Jesus in you overcome the emotional pain that caused you to get the scars in the first place. Letting Him bring us to a higher place in Him is something we all need to do. If you can show your scars to another girl and tell her how you got help and she's then able to seek our Savior for help as well, the beauty of your life is multiplied.
Glad you're feeling better, by the way
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NukePooch
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NukePooch
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overthechill
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When I was 28 I met the love of my life. She was talking to some other girl and when she turned in my direction I was thunderstruck with a smile you wouldn't believe. The girl with her was pretty too (turned out to be her sister) but ....I don't know - this one was just right in every way. I stood over near her till a half hour later mustered enough 10 second nerve to squeak out a hello and it was a little while longer till I realized she walked with crutches. Not wood crutches either, aluminum ones that came up to around mid forearm. The kind you knew were pernament and when she walked, she walked with the grace of someone who had walked that way for a long long time. When she walked away from me though, my heart sank before I practically begged her for a phone number.
By the Grace of God I married that girl 32 years ago this Sept 12. I'm staring at her right now and she is still wearing braces on both legs with her cute little shoes that are different sizes for different sized feet. She was only 2 years old when polio struck one leg useless and the other very weak. She went thru countless operations to correct knee and hip issues leaving scars that should have been zippers.
And she's still the most beautiful woman in the world. That smile that melted my heart so long ago will flash my way again in a minute when I go do the dishes. I'm the luckiest man in the world.
I guess I'm writing this story for Ms Racheledge.
By the Grace of God I married that girl 32 years ago this Sept 12. I'm staring at her right now and she is still wearing braces on both legs with her cute little shoes that are different sizes for different sized feet. She was only 2 years old when polio struck one leg useless and the other very weak. She went thru countless operations to correct knee and hip issues leaving scars that should have been zippers.
And she's still the most beautiful woman in the world. That smile that melted my heart so long ago will flash my way again in a minute when I go do the dishes. I'm the luckiest man in the world.
I guess I'm writing this story for Ms Racheledge.
Overthehill, this story filled me with enough joy to past the whole week. Thank you! Blessings to you and your wife.
I wanna hug from someone...not my family. Well maybe my sister...that's thousands of miles away...because of her priorities....
I dunno. I just hurt.
I dunno. I just hurt.
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you don't sound ridiculous at all. I know the feeling very well. Please enjoy one free cyber-hug, *hugs* and I'll throw in a free prayer, too.
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fourleaf
Guest
when i couldn't sleep i listen to my lullaby song, the song is from hillsong called, Bones -its the only lullaby song that works for me to fall asleep...
the prince of this world has been judged
John 16:11 of judgment, because the prince of this world is judged.
Devil defeated in Christ, and in you if you believe god in Christ that God won through the Christ to redeem all that believe
We have the message of:
2 Corinthians 5:18 And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;
2 Corinthians 5:19 to wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation
Therefore be:
2 Corinthians 5:20 Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ’s stead, be ye reconciled to God.
you are the Church, Christ in you, hope though you make it and learn much truth
I'm getting this out, but just ignore it, because it's partially due to a biological reason of being hyper-emotional right now (I'm legitimately jealous that males do not have their bodies turn against them emotionally and physically every month) but, two things.
One, I'm with you arwen, right now I'm not sure marriage is for me. My reasons are probably different than yours, but I understand where you're coming from. I don't know if I want to be that vulnerable with someone. I don't want to subject a man to have to deal with my scars, both my many, many ones on the outside and the ones I have on the inside. I like being by myself.
Two, and I understand totally where they are coming from, but it's easy for them to say, but my scars are NOT beautiful. They do not signify anything beautiful. They are hideous. What they signify is the absolute hatred I had for myself, my absolute lack of being smart enough to find a better outlet, my absolute sin in destroying the temple God gave me. And I'm stuck with them for life. Nothing can take them away. I wish they were inside scars. At least those you can hide, those people are more accepting of. The people who say that my scars are beautiful are the ones who have never seen them and likely don't have that kind of physical scarring themselves.
Maybe one day I'll accept them. I know that God accepts them, and loves me regardless. But He is so far above being a human, I can't expect that from anyone else. I imagine showing someone, and I imagine two reactions. One is the one I want, the other is afraid I'll get. "Oh...sheesh, yeah those ARE pretty bad..." while they dart their eyes back and forth because it's like a train wreck that they don't want to watch but they can't take their eyes from. And the other, where they just look me straight in the eye and say "Nothing has changed."
I know I'm a hypocrite, I posted a poem in the Poems forum a while back on how my scars could be made beautiful. But it's rare that I truly, 100% believe it. I want it to be less rare.
Sigh. End of my mess of a post. In about two hours when I've calmed down, I'm sure I'll regret posting this.
Please do not regret it.
Have you seen the Movie shallow Hal. If not see it, an eye opener to what true beauty is as God sees you 100% perfect through Son Christ.
But I do understand Marriage here on earth not easy, and takes both sides to overcome the troubles that do come our way. been Married 30 years now and it has not always been a bed of roses, from both sides, and do not expect to ever be, yet many great and beautiful times to reflect upon and look forward to future times as well.
I do not think marriage for everyone here.
I wish there was some way of taking peoples emotional pain away
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I now own a Greek- English interlinear bible
There is and it is by the view of that keeps it against us or for us
James 1:2 My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
Cut out the emotional drama and seek to learn from all things that come into play, knowing that we:
John 16:33
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.
I lost mine when I was 14, I sometimes think that way too, she was only 18 at that time in my life.
You really are in from God's perspective
Colossians 1:22 in the body of his flesh through death, to present you holy and unblameable and unreproveable in his sight:
Ephesians 1:6 to the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.
Tell me what need do we really have since we are accepted in God through Christ, can we change our minds and just trust as we try to accomplish, and when we don't we trust there is a reason for our good, something we do not see in the future as God does for us.
So in Christ you are 100% okay as the world turns to obscure this view from God to you.