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I'm so sorry, Jullianna. <3
Today, I'm learning just how confusing guys can be. I'm just glad I'm 16 and don't feel obligated to date someone or to like someone that likes me. Whether this person likes me or not in the first place is the confusion. But instead of just worrying and staying confised, I'm gonna pray over the situation. And I'm determined that I'm gonna be my own person and if I happen to be attracted to someone, or this person, I won't freak out. I'm gonna wait. I won't wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm going to graduate high school first. I'm sorting out my priorities and getting a boyfriend is NOT on the top of my agenda.
When someone enters your home with intent to harm you, it will make you very, very, very, very angry. I think it is going to be a long time before I can release this anger to God, but I am trying.
My home is my sanctuary. That was violated for the second time in my life. I try to keep my work separate from my personal life. That has been violated as well. This is going to force me to make changes I don't want to make and will likely keep me from making other changes I would like to make. I think that is the greatest source of my anger. And then I think...what if God wants some of those changes and not others? Is it Him I'm wrestling? I wouldn't want that.
I'm trying to avoid people. I'm trying to avoid conflict. I do not want my anger to be misdirected. This is my greatest need at the moment.
I want my heart to stay soft, but things like this make it very difficult. It would be so easy to become bitter and callous, but I know God hates that. So....He is going to have to help me with this. Big time.