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arwen83
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I hate reality TV and shows like The Voice, American Idol- with the exception of Big Brother which I watch every summer. It's gonna be one interesting season and Nick is SUPER cute *dreamy sigh*
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Oh Abba please help me. Who have I in heaven but you? You are my only hope and salvation. Abba, you know my heart. You know it better than I do. Hear what I say to you, rescue me. Rid me of my nightmares, chase away my enemy.
In Jesus name, amen.
In Jesus name, amen.
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GreenNnice
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PrettyBelle
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Not having a working computer is driving me crazy. Trying to type out posts on my phone is difficult.
I have been gone way too long. I have been isolating myself for long enough.
Having major health issues due to my job. I went to a digestive specialist yesterday and realized what stress has been doing to my body. I have neglected my health and now it's time to get testing done.
I have two procedures being done in the next two weeks and trying not to worry, but that's easier said than done. Remember me in your prayers.
I have to remind myself that I need people. I keep pushing everyone away because it's how I've coped for so long, but I really need people to get through.
I feel the only person I can talk to or trust is Jesus.
This is not who I am. You look at that picture of a smiling face, pretty clothes, put together, and happy but I don't feel that way. I feel like David crying out to God in the caves; running from Saul. I read Psalm after Psalm and see my pain in the pages.
I am running and not facing what I should. I have let my troubles have more power over me. Lord help me to stop carrying these burdens that are not mine to carry.
I have been gone way too long. I have been isolating myself for long enough.
Having major health issues due to my job. I went to a digestive specialist yesterday and realized what stress has been doing to my body. I have neglected my health and now it's time to get testing done.
I have two procedures being done in the next two weeks and trying not to worry, but that's easier said than done. Remember me in your prayers.
I have to remind myself that I need people. I keep pushing everyone away because it's how I've coped for so long, but I really need people to get through.
I feel the only person I can talk to or trust is Jesus.
This is not who I am. You look at that picture of a smiling face, pretty clothes, put together, and happy but I don't feel that way. I feel like David crying out to God in the caves; running from Saul. I read Psalm after Psalm and see my pain in the pages.
I am running and not facing what I should. I have let my troubles have more power over me. Lord help me to stop carrying these burdens that are not mine to carry.
I hate waking up. The acting of of it bothers me. Maybe today is just one of those days. I may need more coffee.
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iTOREtheSKY
Guest
Pretending to be happy is not a way to go. Spending the day trying to numb the pain, spitting jokes, and smiling though it all is very exhausting.
When you're away from home for so long you get to appreciate the benefits of being home. Mainly the small things. 
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iTOREtheSKY
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arwen83
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Got the whole 'how are you still single?' comment from a co-worker this week. It's funny noticing myself respond in a way that they won't think that there is something MORBIDLY wrong with me. I think in peoples' minds there are TWO options: She's has high expectations and reaaaally picky -or- she has some underlying weird trait that repel men from her. I found myself explaining why I am single and ending off with "i guess i am a bit picky" (even though I am not sure if thats quite true). There, now he won't think I'm a mutant. 
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arwen83
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I'm beginning to wonder about myself. Friends have always been an odd thing for me. It seems like they come and go. The glue that keeps the friendship together is proximity. There are some people who I suppose I was friends with at uni, that I don't really have the desire to call up. Sometimes I like to just do my own thing. Most often if I have the option of going out to a party or out for drinks with a group of people, I make up some excuse not to go. I find that I have to force myself to be social. Don't get me wrong I will strike up conversation very easily, and know how to hold on a conversation and make a person laugh. But I guess its context and who I am with.
In my early 20's, I belonged to a sorority and had many friends in my chapter and from the guys fraternities. On top of that, I was out going to social activities, volunteering, recruitment, rush week, greek events, formals, all that jazz. People change though, I've changed. Now I am fine with going out for sushi or coffee alone. Shopping alone. Staying at home. I've come to the point where I don't care to make new friends. I don't care to join a Christian bible study group to be able to bond and meet people. I don't care to volunteer to meet new people.
Sometimes I wonder what people think of me when they see me eating alone, or sitting alone at starbucks on my iPhone. A part of me is quite content with the freedom that I have. But another part of me wonders if there is something wrong with me. Is it depression? Is it a defense mechanism? Is it just that you've gotten so use to people coming and going in and out of your life, that you just don't want to put the effort in? Is it natural introversion? I am not sure, but all I know is that right now, I feel content (though a bit concerned) with being on my own.
In my early 20's, I belonged to a sorority and had many friends in my chapter and from the guys fraternities. On top of that, I was out going to social activities, volunteering, recruitment, rush week, greek events, formals, all that jazz. People change though, I've changed. Now I am fine with going out for sushi or coffee alone. Shopping alone. Staying at home. I've come to the point where I don't care to make new friends. I don't care to join a Christian bible study group to be able to bond and meet people. I don't care to volunteer to meet new people.
Sometimes I wonder what people think of me when they see me eating alone, or sitting alone at starbucks on my iPhone. A part of me is quite content with the freedom that I have. But another part of me wonders if there is something wrong with me. Is it depression? Is it a defense mechanism? Is it just that you've gotten so use to people coming and going in and out of your life, that you just don't want to put the effort in? Is it natural introversion? I am not sure, but all I know is that right now, I feel content (though a bit concerned) with being on my own.
Arwen I know how you're feeling. My friendships with the exception of 2 have been like that. I was very close to one particular friend and I'm disappointed in her now. I haven't heard from her in a long time and yes I've reached out to her. But I didn't want to seem pushy so I just gave up. When I do see her somewhere and we talk she always does this, oh yeah let's get together. Last time I just nodded. I was there for her during a very difficult time in her life and I feel a little dismissed when she does that. It's annoying.
But I can't be alone because I have to young kids and a husband. I love spending time with my kids. I don't see much of my husband. I hate to say that, I am here in my marriage for the long haul but you can be with someone and still feel alone. I know that sounds awful, but that's the place i'm in right now. That's not to say he isn't loving and caring, it's just I feel distant from him. I know many of you are single and want a relationship. I'm not complaining about mine. There are things in every relationship that from time to time come up and this is just something that's come up.
But I can't be alone because I have to young kids and a husband. I love spending time with my kids. I don't see much of my husband. I hate to say that, I am here in my marriage for the long haul but you can be with someone and still feel alone. I know that sounds awful, but that's the place i'm in right now. That's not to say he isn't loving and caring, it's just I feel distant from him. I know many of you are single and want a relationship. I'm not complaining about mine. There are things in every relationship that from time to time come up and this is just something that's come up.
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GreenNnice
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Welcome back from camp, littleChristone, and, welcome back from where ever you were too Shawnteecee.
Welcome back to the pages LIGHTupthesky, I was reading that grim interpretation of 'fire' and your feelings now. I hope you go to God, He will give you living water so that that fire is all put out. I was going to say 'all but put out,' but that wouldn't be correct now , would it
Anyway, not sure what that interp was meaning, I may be off in sending you to 'Holy water' for what your feelings are but just not talking any chances, you are God's and He wuvs ya, no Wuvs ya, real Love, brother, and, so, there it is said, I'm off to see the car wizards now, the races !!! Should be fun , watching Sprint cars tonight and they are just about the fastest of the bunch, doing around 15' seconds for a 1/4 mile oval . And, if you don't think, that's fast, on a DIRT track, that's REAL fast, my friendz \\ Anyhoo :}
Welcome back to the pages LIGHTupthesky, I was reading that grim interpretation of 'fire' and your feelings now. I hope you go to God, He will give you living water so that that fire is all put out. I was going to say 'all but put out,' but that wouldn't be correct now , would it
Anyway, not sure what that interp was meaning, I may be off in sending you to 'Holy water' for what your feelings are but just not talking any chances, you are God's and He wuvs ya, no Wuvs ya, real Love, brother, and, so, there it is said, I'm off to see the car wizards now, the races !!! Should be fun , watching Sprint cars tonight and they are just about the fastest of the bunch, doing around 15' seconds for a 1/4 mile oval . And, if you don't think, that's fast, on a DIRT track, that's REAL fast, my friendz \\ Anyhoo :}
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JJAC
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Remember God is right there and is wanting to give you peace. Be still and relish in thought on how truly loved you are. It will not be easy but you will be ok because you have the love of the Father. Go in peace and continue to serve the Lord. God Bless and your in my prayers.
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arwen83
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Frustrating day at work. New guy starting, newish to Canada. Fresh off the boat. Doesn't know how to cook, mow the lawn, work a dryer or know what a weed-wacker looks like. *Face-palm* Great. For 12 hours a day, I am having to support 3 individuals with disabilities and teach the ways of Canada to my co-worker -.- I can get pretty impatient with co-workers. Sometimes I get tired of explaining how to do something and just do it myself instead. Makes for a tiring day 
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Ringer
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arwen83
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