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WHY YOU STILL IN FROZEN CANADA?
I've hardly slept the last two nights as I've been tortured by painful thoughts and fears. I spent most of today dwelling in the presence of Christ and I poured out my heart to Him. I confessed all my hurt, my fears, my insecurity, and my uncertainties. Tonight, exhausted both physically and spiritually, I crawled into bed much earlier than usual, and continued crying out to Him. He has responded by wrapping His arms around me and giving me peace that I've been yearning for.
He reminded me of some VERY basic truths today:
He cares.
He wants me to run to Him first when I am in pain.
He wants me to be open and honest with Him.
He is bigger than my problems.
Today, I am thankful for pain that reminded me to run into the arms of my loving Heavenly Father. In His presence there is comfort, rest, and peace.
This is what Canada is looking at for Windchill temperatures tonight:
Where are you in Canada? I forgetededed
I don't know. Sometimes i don't think that's such a good thing.
And yeah, God can heal. God Can do a lot of things. But He seems mostly to choose not to. Except for a chosen few which He does for consistently. God has done some things for me, i wont' deny. But for the most part i just feel watched more than guided or healed or anything. And when i do feel He's stepped in, it seems like its only to prolong misery.
Sometimes, I wake up buried under crayons and Hot Wheels cars and staring a frog in the eye.
There's too much gravity in here...it's really getting me down...no, I mean, I've tripped over nothing twice already this morning.
My brain is probably my worst enemy today.
Well, except for cats.
...I hate cats.
if you need to make it go away, try hissing at it
I did once to two cats, and they stayed away for months.
(I love cats, but they were bugging our cat)
Dad and I both hissed at it. I think it saw right through me, though, because it came right back.
My mother died last January.
My father died yesterday.
I'm sad now![]()
John 10:10-11
New American Standard Bible (NASB)
[SUP]10 [/SUP]The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.
[SUP]11 [/SUP]“I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep."
Since I was fairly young, about 13-14, I've dealt with suicidal thoughts. I knew that I'd never carry them out, but your thoughts, regardless of whether you carry them out or not, hold a great deal over you, and if you think negatively, you become miserable. You feel lifeless. Hopeless. Worthless.
It's not like I've had a terrible life. I have a mom and dad who love the Lord and love me. Grandparents on both sides who love the Lord and love me. I go to church on a regular basis. Yet somehow, it didn't seem to be enough. Probably because it wasn't.
But two weeks before I turned 15, I had a drastic change in my life. I went to a concert at my sister's college, and I walked out of that door changed. The depression was gone for 2 weeks after that. But it did come back. It was easier to say no to it, at least for a while. Last year was hard for me, because I had acceptance issues in my youth group and stuff, and started not getting along with my parents very well (which most of that was on me). A couple of times I just thought, "Why doesn't God just strike me down already or something??" but, at the same time, I have been constantly reminded of John 10:10. Jesus came that I could have life. For so long I felt dead, and JESUS is the only person that can remedy that. So I keep reminding myself of this verse. That Jesus came to give life. And I don't think He just meant spiritual life. I think He meant emotional and even physical, too.
I believe this means, that the guilt, the depression, and suicidal thoughts I've or others have had, they were crucified with Christ, along with the rest of our sins. They don't have to have a hold on us. The only power they have is the power we give them. DON'T give it to them.Life and death are in the power of not only the words we speak, but the WORDS WE THINK.
The Lord IS near to the broken hearted, and HE CAN AND WILL save those who are crush in spirit.![]()
I hope and pray that whoever needs to see this, does.