Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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lil_christian said:
Why are you striving, these days?

Why are you trying to earn grace?

Why are you crying? Let me lift up your face. Just don't turn away.

Why are you looking for love?

Why are you still searching, as if I'm not enough?

To where will you go, child? To where will you run?

'Cause I'll be by your side, wherever you fall

In the dead of night whenever you call

And please don't fight these hands that are holding you.

My hands are holding you.


~ Tenth Avenue North "By Your Side"
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i adore that song... and i love that line "And please don't fight these hands that are holding you." i love that visual of the little kid fighting to pull away from their parent who's trying to keep them safe.

how wonderful it is that we have a Savior who wants to hold our hand and keep us from ourselves.
 
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just_monicat said:
i adore that song...
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That song came out when I was like...11, going on 12. The first time I heard it, I was like, "Whoa..." because I usually listened to more classic songs like, "You Are My King (Amazing Love)," and other, "Yay! Praise Jesus!" songs. Not that those are bad, and I still don't mind playing those songs. It was just a totally different view of Christianity that I've ever seen, or heard of. That song has stuck with me since the day I heard it. When I was that age, life was pretty good for me, too. When I was that age, I never really went through any trials or traumatic events in my life (that would have been just a year later that life started becoming this rolling, raging roller coaster). The older I get, though, the more I relate with every single song Tenth Avenue North has ever written or sung.
 
The fellow that I support is in surgery now. It's neat when that the nurses treat me as one of their own a bit because of my profession
 
Thoughts of the surgery waiting room:

Woman ugly crying in front of everyone is too awkward...hmm so this jello is subpar...
 
Searching4Truth said:
im so broken right now... i want nothing more then to numb everything away
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S4T: I recommend going on antidepressant medication. I read your posts and it appears that you are down more often than not. I can tell you first hand, it helps.
 
to Fenner and those who've asked about my horses, here they are:

charlotte, my mare. i'm planning to breed her this spring.



and maxim, my gelding





 
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persNickety said:
S4T: I recommend going on antidepressant medication. I read your posts and it appears that you are down more often than not. I can tell you first hand, it helps.
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Not to say they haven't helped you, but I honestly believe that if you don't get your antidepressant meds right the first time, that's even more dangerous than going without. I think that going a more natural way might be the thing to do first, as long as he's not on other prescribed medications.

This is just my own observation, but I think you might be deficient in some Vitamin B's, Searching4Truth. You might be wondering, "Are you serious? How the heck is a vitamin going to help with how I feel?" You'd be surprised, actually. When I was younger, like in 1 and 3rd grade (When I was in 1st grade, I did part time 1st, part time 2nd, because my reading/spelling/English were more advanced than Math/Science/History.) I would be EXTREMELY stressed. I'd go off at my parents and siblings extremely easy. I was a firecracker. Big time.

Then, my mom decided to get me some vitamin B complex drops (because I couldn't swallow pills until I was in like 5th or 6th grade. At all), and oh my goodness, the difference was like night and day for me.

After a while, I stopped taking it. Then, when I was 12, I got really sick. Well, when I got better, I never truly "Got better." I was depressed again, I was stressed again. I went to a natural doctor (one who does vitamins and herbs instead of prescribed medications), and found out I was low in Omega/fatty acids, and once again, severely deficient in vitamin b's, because my body wouldn't absorb them properly in the food I ate. I also went gluten free. Let me tell you what, that did WONDERS for me.

Now, this is just my personal testimony on what that's done for me. I suggest trying to find a homeopathic doctor or a nutritionist.

But here an article on vitamin b and depression.


Vitamin Deficiencies and Depression
 
Yes Lil it could be chemical. In my case, it was chemical, brain chemistry, and a personality vulnerability that contributed. Whether it be seretonin or vitamin B or something else. S4T, in any case get yourself tested for deficiencies, and talk to your doc about options.
 
persNickety said:
Yes Lil it could be chemical. In my case, it was chemical, brain chemistry, and a personality vulnerability that contributed. Whether it be seretonin or vitamin B or something else. S4T, in any case get yourself tested for deficiencies, and talk to your doc about options.
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That's understandable. :) I have a personality that I over think things. Woo, that's not fun sometimes. Given enough time, I could find a good philosophical argument how pancakes can have a symbolic meaning. A couple of times it's gotten me in trouble emotionally. Then it's like, how do you explain that you over thought something and you're in a funk about it? >.<

The good thing is, God has used my ability to think deeply for His good and mine. :)


But anyways...my conclusion is, if it's both, look into both. :) But I just feel like I could never bring myself to take an antidepressant, the commercials seriously scare me to pieces.
 
That awkward moment you put your awkward moment in the streams thread and you streams comment in the awkward moment thread....
 
persNickety said:
Guess whose thread is beating your thread :D teehee
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Well played friend...I'm just bidding my time mwahahaha

In other thoughts...I notice as I get "likes" on my posts of my extreme bad habit of terrible grammar and just flat out leaving out words...I plan to remedy this.
 
It irritates and angers me when people self diagnose without bothering to do research. And it bothers me that those people then talk about their malady like they're an expert. Then, when you ask simple questions about said problem they have NO information on it. They just heard of some random condition at some point in their life and have now decided they have it.


Person 1: I think I have Cholera. [Sips coffee]

Person 2: Oh really? Why do you think you have Cholera?

Person 1: For a lot of reasons, but I'm pretty sure I have it.

Person 2: Isn't Cholera something people die from?

Person 1: [Sips coffee again] Yeah, maybe. I don't really know anything about it.




Seriously? You think you have CHOLERA? You live in the United States, and you think you have a water borne disease that appears primarily on a epidemic basis?! REALLY?!
 
Maybe they should rephrase what they say to: Dang...I'd sho' like some Cholera! LOL

Personally,if someone said that to me I'd say..."My dear friend,Cholera I have not...but I shall release my Ebola Monkey upon you & let him give your vessels a good rupturing!"


In other news....
I
Despise
My
Phone!
 
DuchessAimee said:
It irritates and angers me when people self diagnose without bothering to do research. And it bothers me that those people then talk about their malady like they're an expert. Then, when you ask simple questions about said problem they have NO information on it. They just heard of some random condition at some point in their life and have now decided they have it.


Person 1: I think I have Cholera. [Sips coffee]

Person 2: Oh really? Why do you think you have Cholera?

Person 1: For a lot of reasons, but I'm pretty sure I have it.

Person 2: Isn't Cholera something people die from?

Person 1: [Sips coffee again] Yeah, maybe. I don't really know anything about it.




Seriously? You think you have CHOLERA? You live in the United States, and you think you have a water borne disease that appears primarily on a epidemic basis?! REALLY?!
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Hey, that's not a nice way to talk about my ex-wife! woops, did I say that out loud....

*sigh* if you people knew my ex you'd be laughing hysterically right now, I swear.
 
I wonder what it would be like to be called by the term 'wife'. Imagining my husband speaking about me calling me that. It's so weird. Or think of me saying, hi I am so and so's wife. Seems so grown up lol
 
'Hi Ho Hi Ho, Waiting waiting waiting I go, been here since 10am and have many many more hours to go'
 
persNickety said:
I wonder what it would be like to be called by the term 'wife'. Imagining my husband speaking about me calling me that. It's so weird. Or think of me saying, hi I am so and so's wife. Seems so grown up lol
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For me, even simply thinking of having a boyfriend, or someone who likes me, is extremely weird.
 
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