Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

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I've decided to go out to concerts and local venues more often. Maybe meet someone with the same music taste. We do have a big music & culture scene in my city, I haven't taken advantage of going.
 
When we are family we need to put up with a lot of little abuses and still forgive. Parents have had to forgive a lot to keep their family together. I was not a real bad child,growing up in my home,with my siblings. After I went to Bible co. and returned to my home town 12 yrs latter. I had a lot of very disappointing times with my dad. I was looking for some spiritual growth in my dad and he stay the same, mild mannered man he always was. He never took a moral stand in our family, to teach us right and wrong, when we were children, all of us children went into sin. He himself was a very godly man, but he never stood up for Bible morals with anyone. I got to a point where I hated my Father with his mild ,uncondemning ways. He never got mad ,once, in his whole life. My mother was very emotional as I was/am. I was always getting mad at my family. I had one daughter, strong willed like me, that I wish i could have killed a few time; The sad thing is, I did kill our relationship, with the help of my disobedient wife, who always sided with our daughter, in a shouting match. Today. all my family hates me. My wife died at 66 in total disappointment with me. God gave her ocular melinoma, just out of the blue, and she was gone in one yr.. More later. But, learn to roll with the punch and hang in their, until someone threatens to kill you ,then run. Love Hoffco ps. I could use help, if anyone cares to enter into a deep conversion. for a lone time.
 
MissCris said:
You, sir, are a deep well.

I feel very humbled by the responses to a thought/feeling/change process that I'm not proud to admit I'm experiencing.

I don't want to be the fox anymore. Warning people what I'm capable of isn't enough- I don't want to give in to my own weakness anymore. I don't want there to be any need for that warning. I don't know that there's anything all that great about wanting to stop being...destructive, hurtful, self-indulging...I dunno. I just know that I can't live like that and serve God.
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Ha!! Thanks for not sayin what the well is full of.
 
Hoffco said:
When we are family we need to put up with a lot of little abuses and still forgive. Parents have had to forgive a lot to keep their family together. I was not a real bad child,growing up in my home,with my siblings. After I went to Bible co. and returned to my home town 12 yrs latter. I had a lot of very disappointing times with my dad. I was looking for some spiritual growth in my dad and he stay the same, mild mannered man he always was. He never took a moral stand in our family, to teach us right and wrong, when we were children, all of us children went into sin. He himself was a very godly man, but he never stood up for Bible morals with anyone. I got to a point where I hated my Father with his mild ,uncondemning ways. He never got mad ,once, in his whole life. My mother was very emotional as I was/am. I was always getting mad at my family. I had one daughter, strong willed like me, that I wish i could have killed a few time; The sad thing is, I did kill our relationship, with the help of my disobedient wife, who always sided with our daughter, in a shouting match. Today. all my family hates me. My wife died at 66 in total disappointment with me. God gave her ocular melinoma, just out of the blue, and she was gone in one yr.. More later. But, learn to roll with the punch and hang in their, until someone threatens to kill you ,then run. Love Hoffco ps. I could use help, if anyone cares to enter into a deep conversion. for a lone time.
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Powerful testimony Hoffco.
 
Hoffco said:
When we are family we need to put up with a lot of little abuses and still forgive. Parents have had to forgive a lot to keep their family together. I was not a real bad child,growing up in my home,with my siblings. After I went to Bible co. and returned to my home town 12 yrs latter. I had a lot of very disappointing times with my dad. I was looking for some spiritual growth in my dad and he stay the same, mild mannered man he always was. He never took a moral stand in our family, to teach us right and wrong, when we were children, all of us children went into sin. He himself was a very godly man, but he never stood up for Bible morals with anyone. I got to a point where I hated my Father with his mild ,uncondemning ways. He never got mad ,once, in his whole life. My mother was very emotional as I was/am. I was always getting mad at my family. I had one daughter, strong willed like me, that I wish i could have killed a few time; The sad thing is, I did kill our relationship, with the help of my disobedient wife, who always sided with our daughter, in a shouting match. Today. all my family hates me. My wife died at 66 in total disappointment with me. God gave her ocular melinoma, just out of the blue, and she was gone in one yr.. More later. But, learn to roll with the punch and hang in their, until someone threatens to kill you ,then run. Love Hoffco ps. I could use help, if anyone cares to enter into a deep conversion. for a lone time.
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Sounds like you've been through a lot. Also sounds like you are seeing the faults in everyone but you. So what is God asking you to do now and are you willing to do it? As long as you are alive there is a chance to see God reconcile you with your family and we pray for that (and if your alienated daughter is like you she probably needs a strong and Godly father to guide her still too).
 
Ho11y said:
I ate this orange. The orange was gross. I kept it eating it.

I seem to have a habit of doing that.

There's help out there for that....... right??
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I'd say you just know that for many people in the world, food of any kind is scarce, is a luxury, and how wasteful it is to throw something out that is perfectly good, even if it is bland.

(Eating a tasteless fruit is not the same as forcing yourself to eat a spoiled fruit, though. Don't do that. Even someone who hasn't the luxury of a steady diet should not eat something that will make them very ill.)
 
Thanks for your warm response and heart felt warnings / admonitions. Life is not simple and friends are hard to keep. I have a covenant agreement with my Philippine wife of 7 yrs; but it is not an easy marriage. We both carry a bag of hurts and habits very ingrained in our being. We each need our deepest relationship with Jesus so we can endure the injustices from each other. If we both do our Christian duty to love God and others as our selves ,we make it through. At this point, I have put out a fleece, to decide God's will. If I get a double payment on my house I'm selling, this nov, I will return to the states for a yr., and work on getting a visiting visa for my wife to joint me, for a yr. to build up support for our ministry. I am wondering If my wife of 7 yrs. will try to control me in the states. She is a first born and very self willed, has always ruled her family here in the Philippines. She always wants it "her way". She is very much like me. Love Doug, Hoffco ps, I need a sabbatical. I would wish that John Piper's church would help us. I love most all of his preaching.
 
Shouryu said:
I'd say you just know that for many people in the world, food of any kind is scarce, is a luxury, and how wasteful it is to throw something out that is perfectly good, even if it is bland.

(Eating a tasteless fruit is not the same as forcing yourself to eat a spoiled fruit, though. Don't do that. Even someone who hasn't the luxury of a steady diet should not eat something that will make them very ill.)
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Funny, i was just thinking about this logic the other day. And how silly it is. The fact that someone has easy access to food, while others do not, does not mean a person needs to force themselves to eat certain things. Not eating something does not mean you don't appreciate what you have. And making yourself eat it has no affect on the person in need.
It also doesn't mean food should not be thrown out. Again, it has no affect on the person needing for or that a person can't appreciate the abundance they have around them.
Really this attitude is about guilt more than anything. Guilt over things we can't affect yet feel as though we should. My suggestion is rather than guilting yourself, or others, make an active effort to help those in need. You aren't helping anyone just because you make yourself eat something or not throw food at that has nothing wrong with it other than you don't like it.
 
Hahahhaha.
I love that a lot, lol.
I think someone needs to make graphs in different geographical areas of the world to see where birds crap the most. :p
 
Ugly said:
Funny, i was just thinking about this logic the other day. And how silly it is. The fact that someone has easy access to food, while others do not, does not mean a person needs to force themselves to eat certain things. Not eating something does not mean you don't appreciate what you have. And making yourself eat it has no affect on the person in need.
It also doesn't mean food should not be thrown out. Again, it has no affect on the person needing for or that a person can't appreciate the abundance they have around them.
Really this attitude is about guilt more than anything. Guilt over things we can't affect yet feel as though we should. My suggestion is rather than guilting yourself, or others, make an active effort to help those in need. You aren't helping anyone just because you make yourself eat something or not throw food at that has nothing wrong with it other than you don't like it.
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Guilt or no guilt...waste is still waste, and I was raised how I was raised. You grow up with a mother who insists on literally retrieving every last grain of rice stuck to the inside of the rice cooker, and it kind of becomes second nature.
 
Well, waste or not, it still has no impact on those who go without.
Though no need to get so defensive.
 
Hehehe happy dance. Letter in the mail from work saying Congrats! I'll be recognized for my years of service at work at the Christmas Gala this year. Wasn't expecting that. I don't know what recognizing means, but better than a kick in the pants!
 
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"The truth is, you have significance! Think about it. Go out some night, look up at the night sky, and remind yourself that in all the vastness of this amazing universe, God chose you to be you."
 
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