Stress Relief in a Difficult Situation

[kaylagrl]

For the most part people here give good advice. lol Not exactly buttering you all up am I. But in all seriousness I have an issue that I don't know what to do or how I can help. I was wondering if anyone would have a good idea of what I could do in this situation.

About four years ago my parents got a little house that they thought would be their place to retire. It's large enough for family and visitors from away but not too big to care for. It was built for them. There was a large empty property behind them but no houses. My mother in particular has her recliner by the window in their living room and she sits with her little dog when she isn't feeling well and can see the road from her chair. She can also see the sun rise and set and loves taking pictures when the sky is pretty. She has come through cancer and it's important that she's not stressed.

Well this summer the gov't grabbed all the land. They are building a small city literally in my mothers back yard. Two story buildings, over ten of them, I don't even know how they are fitting it all there. Now all my mother can see from her window is the back of these homes. She couldn't go out on her deck all summer for the noise and dirt. And once all the people move in, I think it may be even more stressful. A privacy fence won't help the houses tower over it. I know it upsets her. They would lose money if they moved,so that's not an option, at least until the economy changes.

I realize there isn't a whole lot I can do, but it's really depressing my mother. That chair was a comfort to her when she wasn't feeling well and it's the only window she can sit by. Her living room is at the back of the house facing this mess. Not sure what I could do to pick her spirits up. Anyhow if anyone has any advice I'd sure appreciate it. I really don't want her getting down, and she's not usually that type of person but I know this is really bothering her. Ideas?

 

[2ndTimothyGroup]

For the most part people here give good advice. lol Not exactly buttering you all up am I. But in all seriousness I have an issue that I don't know what to do or how I can help. I was wondering if anyone would have a good idea of what I could do in this situation.

About four years ago my parents got a little house that they thought would be their place to retire. It's large enough for family and visitors from away but not too big to care for. It was built for them. There was a large empty property behind them but no houses. My mother in particular has her recliner by the window in their living room and she sits with her little dog when she isn't feeling well and can see the road from her chair. She can also see the sun rise and set and loves taking pictures when the sky is pretty. She has come through cancer and it's important that she's not stressed.

Well this summer the gov't grabbed all the land. They are building a small city literally in my mothers back yard. Two story buildings, over ten of them, I don't even know how they are fitting it all there. Now all my mother can see from her window is the back of these homes. She couldn't go out on her deck all summer for the noise and dirt. And once all the people move in, I think it may be even more stressful. A privacy fence won't help the houses tower over it. I know it upsets her. They would lose money if they moved,so that's not an option, at least until the economy changes.

I realize there isn't a whole lot I can do, but it's really depressing my mother. That chair was a comfort to her when she wasn't feeling well and it's the only window she can sit by. Her living room is at the back of the house facing this mess. Not sure what I could do to pick her spirits up. Anyhow if anyone has any advice I'd sure appreciate it. I really don't want her getting down, and she's not usually that type of person but I know this is really bothering her. Ideas?

Brutal. Eminent Domain is real, and the Government can take anyone's land for the good of the public if they so deem. There really isn't much that we can do about it, other than go to court and attempt to fight their decisions. If your Blessed mother does want to leave, it might be provable in court that what the government did to her caused her a financial loss, and that could be resolved in court.

Unfortunately, not much can be done when it comes to the power of our government. So sorry to hear of this stress upon your Blessed mother.

 

[Rosemaryx]

For the most part people here give good advice. lol Not exactly buttering you all up am I. But in all seriousness I have an issue that I don't know what to do or how I can help. I was wondering if anyone would have a good idea of what I could do in this situation.

About four years ago my parents got a little house that they thought would be their place to retire. It's large enough for family and visitors from away but not too big to care for. It was built for them. There was a large empty property behind them but no houses. My mother in particular has her recliner by the window in their living room and she sits with her little dog when she isn't feeling well and can see the road from her chair. She can also see the sun rise and set and loves taking pictures when the sky is pretty. She has come through cancer and it's important that she's not stressed.

Well this summer the gov't grabbed all the land. They are building a small city literally in my mothers back yard. Two story buildings, over ten of them, I don't even know how they are fitting it all there. Now all my mother can see from her window is the back of these homes. She couldn't go out on her deck all summer for the noise and dirt. And once all the people move in, I think it may be even more stressful. A privacy fence won't help the houses tower over it. I know it upsets her. They would lose money if they moved,so that's not an option, at least until the economy changes.

I realize there isn't a whole lot I can do, but it's really depressing my mother. That chair was a comfort to her when she wasn't feeling well and it's the only window she can sit by. Her living room is at the back of the house facing this mess. Not sure what I could do to pick her spirits up. Anyhow if anyone has any advice I'd sure appreciate it. I really don't want her getting down, and she's not usually that type of person but I know this is really bothering her. Ideas?

So sad to read this sister , it truly is...These little comforts are so important to your mother as she sits in her chair , looking out at the beautiful skies...Am sure she sits there with her fondest memories...May the good LORD shine His Face upon her as she goes through this awful thing that is happening around her...One day , she will be home with our Lord , and no building can block her view then , but for now , I pray that God will bless her weary heart , and fill her with abounding peace...So sad...xox...

 

[Billyd]

Since she can't move, and you can't knock down the houses, you must change the view that she has. I would build a trellis around my deck and plant flowers on it. I would hang bird feeders among the flowers.

 

[MsMediator]

I think it is better to move/downgrade/lose some money in this situation. Some people may like the convenience of having stores next door. I would put the house on the market but not be in a rush to sell it, and try and get a good deal as possible.

 

[Cameron143]

For the most part people here give good advice. lol Not exactly buttering you all up am I. But in all seriousness I have an issue that I don't know what to do or how I can help. I was wondering if anyone would have a good idea of what I could do in this situation.

About four years ago my parents got a little house that they thought would be their place to retire. It's large enough for family and visitors from away but not too big to care for. It was built for them. There was a large empty property behind them but no houses. My mother in particular has her recliner by the window in their living room and she sits with her little dog when she isn't feeling well and can see the road from her chair. She can also see the sun rise and set and loves taking pictures when the sky is pretty. She has come through cancer and it's important that she's not stressed.

Well this summer the gov't grabbed all the land. They are building a small city literally in my mothers back yard. Two story buildings, over ten of them, I don't even know how they are fitting it all there. Now all my mother can see from her window is the back of these homes. She couldn't go out on her deck all summer for the noise and dirt. And once all the people move in, I think it may be even more stressful. A privacy fence won't help the houses tower over it. I know it upsets her. They would lose money if they moved,so that's not an option, at least until the economy changes.

I realize there isn't a whole lot I can do, but it's really depressing my mother. That chair was a comfort to her when she wasn't feeling well and it's the only window she can sit by. Her living room is at the back of the house facing this mess. Not sure what I could do to pick her spirits up. Anyhow if anyone has any advice I'd sure appreciate it. I really don't want her getting down, and she's not usually that type of person but I know this is really bothering her. Ideas?

God always has purpose in change. Our first thoughts are generally how our circumstances affect us. But this is not the Godly perspective.
We oftentimes look at what we are losing rather than what might be our gain. The secret to contentment is to look past our loss to what God is adding.
I don't know what it is for your mom but for Job the answer is found in Job 42:5. The result was that Job's understanding and experience of God was multiplied to him. Perhaps this is what God intends for your mother.
I'll keep her in prayer.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

You and any others can frequently offer to take her to a nearby park or pretty places to picnic. Assure her that these townhomes connected to her property should increase the value in the future should she decide to purchase a cottage next to a rural location.
I have family that should have held up on selling prime residential acres and home until someone bought the lot next door. Someone bought both of them. Because there were commercial zoning nextdoor to those apartments, the attached properties were easily rezoned commercial and valued up more than considerable. My family did not benefit, the new buyer did. There are townhomes and apartments on two sides now. He could sell at a HUGE profit without so much as building one structure. Contractors wait in line for those properties.

I hate change that affects me too. Look at it as a blessing in disguise if possible.
In the meantime, scenic drives and a wish list with pictures to pray about together should help your Mom.

 

[HealthAndHappiness]

/\. Reread, because I had to edit Kayla./\

I can identify with your Mom's problem oh so well. I have a very similar challenge. Perfect, beautiful view is going to change for a similar reason. This is a genuine stressor. It's good that you are trying to keep that down for her.
Best to you and your Mom.

 

[kaylagrl]

Thank you for your replies. My mother has been that person that gives so much to her family and friends, often more than they give her back. She's a prayer warrior and that chair is her favorite place to sit and read her Bible. She's not really able to go far, she has been on and off a walker for the past two years. I try to get her out when she is feeling up to going. The hard part is she has been unable to go to church, and I have had to stay with her because my father does the music for our church. She can't sit long because it hurts and she can't walk when she gets up. On top of all of this my father has taken sudden memory loss. We don't know if it's from the stress of her cancer or that his job fired him because he was worried about bringing COVID home to my mother. The job loss forced him into retirement that he was not ready for. So just everything hitting at once, and now all this constant noise and construction breaking their peace. I wish I could afford to buy them a little place they could retire in, and move them closer to me. Thank you for your prayers also, I just want to see them happy and as stress free as possible.

 

[kaylagrl]

/\. Reread, because I had to edit Kayla./\

I can identify with your Mom's problem oh so well. I have a very similar challenge. Perfect, beautiful view is going to change for a similar reason. This is a genuine stressor. It's good that you are trying to keep that down for her.
Best to you and your Mom.

Thank you, we've never been city people. We traveled so much in ministry that we needed a quiet place to come home to. They were renting a place but felt that was just throwing away money. So they bought this home and expected that a house or two might be built there behind them some distance away. But these buildings are pretty much touching their back fence. They only have a small yard. People will literally be looking into their living and bed rooms. There will be no privacy. They have built a small city of apartments and homes in their backyard. I don't even know how they are fitting it all in there. There will easily be a hundred people living there once they are done building. smh

 

[Eli1]

Kayla I don’t know your mom or your relationship to her but have you thought about keeping her closer to your home if that’s possible?
This depends on a lot of details.
My parents live on the third floor and I live on the first floor. Would something like that help her?

Also may God bless your mom dealing with cancer and may she be free of suffering and distress.

 

[G00WZ]

I would tell her to continue to do what she normally does and to imagine the sun rise just as she does while thanking God
that He has caused it to be. What im saying sounds stupid i know but i have literally experienced God literally bending reality just to prove true what i had faith in Him for by me just living after them. I think it has to do with being fixed in faith and not moving off of what you believe no matter the lack of evidence or circumstance.

I remember when i was sick i had to stand firm that i was healed even though i clearly couldn't eat for weeks but i would still sit at the kitchen table twice a day with a spoon pretending to eat out of an empty bowl. It seemed stupid and like time wasted but after a few days God just sent someone who didn't even know what i was going through to just randomly tell me to eat whatever i wanted and so i did, and ive been fine and healed of that since.

Dunno what to say about stress other than it is what it just is but life has to be placed on faith. When i was sick i was having stress, i wasn't all peaceful i was fighting with thoughts of suicide hourly and constantly bombarded and made aware of the fact that i was dying. The hard part was being committed and motivated to simulate eating even though emotionally i was well beyong my breaking point to where i didn't want to belive God for being healed anymore because it seemed hopeless foolish and stupid. I guess because im super introspective i was able to see how the enemy was using circumstance to attack my faith to hopefully get me off it.

I would pray about it and affirm that God has done something about it by living to it as though He did.

 

[GardenofWeeden]

I don't know about cost, but you might take some of her photos of the sunrises and sunsets, and have them turned into window clings to cover her windows. She may still have to see the houses out back, and deal with the dust and all for a while, but it will give her a nice scene on her windows, PLUS when the sun comes through the window cling it might provide a bit of a prism effect on the walls and floors.

 

[Cameron143]

I don't know about cost, but you might take some of her photos of the sunrises and sunsets, and have them turned into window clings to cover her windows. She may still have to see the houses out back, and deal with the dust and all for a while, but it will give her a nice scene on her windows, PLUS when the sun comes through the window cling it might provide a bit of a prism effect on the walls and floors.

Nice idea

 

[Nehemiah6]

Anyhow if anyone has any advice I'd sure appreciate it.

If the government has built a small city beside your mother's home it means that her property has excellent resale value. (After all there will be many people moving into this area, otherwise the government may not have built there).

So the first thing to do is to get a professional comparative market appraisal immediately. If the potential sale price looks good, then find another suitable house for your mom where she would not be hemmed in (a small town, rural area, whatever, away from crowds).

The price of this house should be more than covered by the sale price of the existing home (with some cash to spare). If that can be achieved then put her house up for sale and give her a different but beautiful view (possibly a mountain or lake view, where she can sit and watch the sunrises and sunsets).

If another state is more suitable, then that should be considered seriously also. The main objective should be a stress-free location (where essential services and amenities are handy), and not in excess of the funds obtained from the sale of the existing property.

 

[Lanolin]

if theres space for a garden I would go about growing one for her, it can even be done in pots and window boxes.

You need to pray for her new neighbours as they need somewhere to live too, and unfortunatley have even less space than your mother and have to go up stairs etc. Be thankful there are people around cos if your mother was isolated inthe country and stuff happened it would take ages for anyone to reach her.

 

[Lanolin]

Besides spying on neighbours might be a new pastime has anyone seen REAR Window

People in NYC just watch their neighbours for entertainment. of course I would be disturbed if anyone tries to watch me through my window but thats why have curtains and a grew a garden outside. I dont have a view of anything except what I grow.

At least its only 2 storeys and not 13 or more as thats where my mother grew up...in Hong Kong. shes always trying to cut down trees saying they give too much shade lol. And shes dealing with cancer

Im a bit harsh and say well if you really dont like trees you could move to australia and live in the desert...or go back to Hong Kong. ! Or worse...live in an old folks home with other sick oldies.

Mothers unfortunately complain a lot about little things they cant do anything about instead of being thankful for what they do have - their loving daughters!