Suggestions how to get over someone

[saltnlight]

Hello christian friends:

I have been through a really hard time to get over my ex..even though i know now, he is not a real christian and i should wait on God for a real one...
i also believe this pain is not God's perfect will for me ...i would like to know your point of view about break ups and pain and how to get over it the best way????
why does it have to be so painful for me?did you ever faced it the same way and felt just like wanted to disappear from this world and go to heaven?
why am i like this?
Thank you and God bless everyone...

 

[Kenoragirl]

Break ups never feel good. But knowing that what you did was the right thing & that you are in God's will helps. Sometimes it can take a looooong time to get over somebody - remember, you were tied to that person on so many levels, its hard to regain your own life again. It took me over a year to get over my boyfriend... I had to come to a point where I realized that I am where God wants me to be & to be happy. I'm content now... knowing that I am where I should be. It just takes time.

 

[Pheonix]

I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years about six years ago. I'm not entirely sure I'm over her yet. Call me pathetic or whatever, but I've found that depending on how things ended and why you broke up, the best thing you can do is forgive them. Not for them, but for yourself. It has be about six years since the breakup and I've finally forgiven her. The reason I say this is a long convuluted story which I'm sure you aren't interested in. Some people say you have to get back on the horse, per se, I think you have to forgive. Both the other person and yourself. Only then can you realize you are better off without them. sometimes it can take years.

 

[saltnlight]

Thanks guys for your help...one day at a time...i just want to keep my faith and believe he was not the one God had for me...sure it takes time and a lot of tears and pain...wish was easier,
God bless you guys and hope you find the right one next time you date, the same i wish for me...tired of breaking my heart over and over...

 

[Aimz]

I'm going through the same thing right now. I find it helpful to talk to people who genuinely care about you and who can empathise with you. I also find it helpful to turn to God, tell him your feelings, pray and read his word for direction. This is getting me through. Trust in God. If you've come out of the relationship-there was a reason for it! For me, I was unsettled and didn't feel at peace being in the relationship I was in and was heading for a future I wasn't certain I wanted. I prayed and talked to discerning people until I decided it wasn't God's will for me, so I broke it off. Leaving me with pain and memories to deal wth.

What I think is important to know is God has a perfect and pleasing plan for us ("For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."Jeremiah 29:11) and we have to stop trying to take control! 'Let go and Let God' is a saying I've caught. Let the person go. If it's in God's plan for you to be united with them, he'll bring them accross your path again. (I'm talking to myself here too! -this is actuially helping!) Keep turning to God he's there for you and I believe he has a lot of compassion for the broken hearted.

Also, there's quite a lot of advice on the web for getting over a break up, could check them out!
e.g. http://www.ehow.com/how_2308136_get-over-bad-break-up.html

God has given me these particular verses that've helped:

""Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past." Isaiah 43:18

"It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man." Psalm 118:8

"Listen, my son, and be wise, and keep your heart on the right path" Proverbs 23:19

"This is what the LORD says: "Cursed is the one who trusts in man, who depends on flesh for his strength and whose heart turns away from the LORD." Jeremiah 17:5

 

[ghreyz]

nobody likes break up.. with my first bf and i broke up it takes ages i mean four years before i finally "let go".
breaking up might be the worst thing ever, because knowng the fct that the person will never be around for you plus the emotional attachment has been develop will never be there. nobody will feel you right, complement the way you are or you might feel nobody appreciate. is all about feeling and the world surround you and him. and it feels like nothing. waking up in the morning hardest thing.
but you know what the good thing with break up is to understand what you are made for. When stop crying, you move on and let go.... let go of the feelings and start loving yourself and tried to forgive yourself and him. lets face it we also have a tendency to blame our self.
but you know what when the feelings finally gone for him. I feel like I'm renew person i understand now that i don't need to be with some body just to put a smile on my face and i can freely laugh on my own mistake and to tell to the world hey i'm here and still standing.

 

[Moviefan2k4]

I'm also currently a card-carrying memeber of the "haunted by past memoris of an ex" club. Almost 9 years ago, I met and fell in love with a woman named Melissa*. however, she married another man before I could tell her how I felt. Not long after, her husband went to jail, and she and I wound up in an adulterous relationship. A week later, her husband Rex* got out of jail, and the two of them ran off to Pennsylvania. Five months after that (with me so far?), Melissa came back, claiming Rex had tried to rape her. We resumed our relationship, and in January of 2002, I left due to severe emotional and spiritual stress.

Not long after that, Melissa wound up with Cody*, a man she'd met at her job, and in Fall 2002 they left for Georgia. In September of 2005 (three years later), I was told by another party that Cody was out of the picture, so I ran off to Georgia to try and get Melissa back. In March of 2006, we agreed to a brief hiatus (on the advice of a pastor we were meeting with), and I came back to Texas. In May 2006, she called me to say she wanted out, for good...and my whole world fell apart. I spent a lot of time over the last 3 & 1/2 years wishing I had a chance to do so many things differently, and for a year I've been getting counseling from a Christian psychologist. I recently wrote my ex a letter, and sent it to her Facebook page...but its been almost 2 weeks, and no reply. I really feel like I need final closure on the past if I'm going to have a bright future, and I've been asking God for help in forgiving both her and myself for everything that happened. One of my biggest hurdles has been the question, "How do you honestly repent for something that you know is a sin, but also is one of the happiest memories you've ever known?"

* Names changed for privacy reasons, due to the nature of events.

 

[kristinei]

sooooooooooooo hard to get over someone..... i myself dunno how.. and its so crazy bcoz i kept thinking about him as if he is the only and last guy i will ever love...huhuhuhu

 

[singleparent]

No kidden its really easy to give advice whats hard is to take it to heart and put it to practice. Stay in the Lords word keep up the good fight run the good race and remember your not alone.I as well as outher's are in the same place as you and know right were you are coming from like you the pain is very real the wound is still very fresh it is an every day struggle not to cry out. I do think however that this to shall pass.Keep you eyes upward and remain on that narrow path sister you will be better off for it. DAVID