God does not want you to take your own life, He is the one who gave you that life. He never promised us that this walk of life would be easy, but He did promise us a safe return through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I hope and pray that you know Him, He will change EVERY aspect in your life, and for the better and greater good. Don't entertain the thought of even trying to commit that sin, that's just another lie from the devil himself, to try and make you feel hopeless and fruitless. But Christ overcame the grave, He overcame sin, and He is the propitiation for our sins, and He loves you so very dearly, that He gave His life so that we could LIVE eternally with Him. When I think of suicide, I think of the heart break it may cause our Lord, because to me, that's essentially looking the Lord straight in the face and telling him, What you gave me is not good enough, this life you gave is worthless, and I know that would hurt Him. Be joyful you have life and give all the honor and glory to Him. I promise you, the peace you will get from the Holy Spirit is worth it.