I am very inteligent (even though my grammar is imperfect) and have come up with so many Poems, Stories and Music Video ideas its not even funny. Its like God has blessed me with 500 GB of Harddrive space but has given me no RAM (to process the information). To put it in an easier way I have all these ideas but cant put them into play. I drink alot of alcohol and use painkillers so i wont have to think about what gifts (incomplete) i have been given. Beleive me when i say I have TRIED to put these ideas into action but nothing came out of it. For instance one night at a camping trip i was in my tent trying to go to sleep when every 15 seconds a beautiful cross so intricate came to my mind when my eyes were closed (im not an artist so thats wasted) . Do you think god could erase me from ever existing if i sincerely asked him to? I think God made a mistake making me for the bible says 'God made man in his image" and we are imperfect as you know. Im not suicidal or anthing (im too afraid of dying) but i just had to say this). Thank you all for listening to me. The reason i joined this site (even though i USED to be christian but am not anymore) is cause other boards would label me as a "Troll" (someone who says things just to get a "rise" out of other people) and yet you guys dont. I am a very random person who asks werid questions. Again i am NOT going to hurt myself in any way. so dont worry