Hi Z I was a bit confused by your post.
Having lost a love one from assumptive medical protocol I wanted to stick my nose in your business without really sticking my nose in your business. s I hope you don't think I was making any judgments on you or anything of the sort since I don't have all the facts or any really as a matter of fact.
But just the mention the elderly falling makes me want to talk about the potential threat to their life and how it is something that is best addressed by preventative measures that reduce or eliminate their risk to falls. I am sure you are handling he situation right and I am in no position to second guess you even if I wanted to and I won't.
Being familiar with the care giver situation I realize it is hard situation and the sometimes the person receiving the care doesn't make it any easier. But like you are saying, maybe without saying is that even in the difficult situations there are some hidden blessing that those who handled it faithfully will find come from it.