The antiquated old man syndrom....

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Canadian36

Banned
Oct 20, 2011
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Okay correct me if I'm wrong about this... But I started to notice something odd in our society. Me and my single friends have conversations about this a lot. I mean I could be way off base, what do I know really.

but here it goes....

It just seems as if a lot of our modern day societal statutes concerning marriage are so screwed up. Basically in the last century getting divorced has become incentivized. If a divorce happens it's usually the guy who ends up holding the short end of the stick. Usually he ends up losing the kids, paying allamony and also child support. And maybe if he's lucky he gets to see the kids every other weekend.

This happened to a friend of mine. They were married for about 11 yrs, then out of the blue, she kicks him to the curb like an old shoe and replaces him with a newer, younger, sexier model. Meanwhile he's left to have to pay for all this stuff. They live in a small town in the boonies so after his contract ran out he had to find work elsewhere in his profession so he isn't able to get back there every other weekend to see the kids. So he sees them maybe a few times a year.

And I'm ranting a bit her but now I find myself in this predicament too...

I won't blab on about this as I don't want to bore you. But I dated a girl for 12 yrs. (I'm in my late 30's now) We were engaged and gonna get married possibly later this year after I figured out a few business items. And I guess I can't say for sure what happened. My guess is that I think she met someone else but wasn't saying anything. Then just out of the blue, completely out of left field she's like, no were done. I don't want to ever talk to you again. Like after 12 yrs??? Talk about insanity. Like who does that!

But I just get this feeling like older guys have it rough. Like a lot of situations changed in both my friends life in the earlier example. And also in my life too. Like I'm sure we both gained a few pounds over the years. Likely both got a bit complacent with the relationship as well. But it seems like the slightest change and the partner could just up an leave. I guess that's the chance you take in any relationship so you have to be willing to accept that. But I honestly feel as if older guys have it rough. Once we're no longer useful we're just kicked to curb like an old shoe, and expected to pay for the privaliage. Seems like total insanity. I know some friends that just remain single by choice to avoid these issues altogether. That's pretty sad too.

We live in such a throw away society. Even people get tossed to the curb like garbage. And I know it happens equally as often with women too, but usually they don't have to pay for the privaliage of getting tossed out. It's just so sad. ;-p
 
I could be way off base here, but could I assume that if you were dating this girl for 12 years, you were also having sex?

Thats one of the reasons why God tells us to save sex for marriage...if you can only have it in a marriage context, you won't go on dating each other for an unhealthy length of time. It makes us value each other. The phrase comes to mind "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" If you're having sex, there isn't a real big incentive to get married, and if you can get divorced and re-married whenever you want, there is no real incentive to staying faithful in said marriage. That's why divorce happens so frequently today; people don't view it as permanent.

What I'm saying here is that if people viewed marriage as permanent, the way God intended it, and that sex was exclusive to marriage, people would be much less cavalier about relationships and marriage (and relationships in general) would be a lot more successful.
 
Strat......Ya no I totally agree. Well I don't want to get into details, but I guess there was problems in the early years which made me concerned about getting married. Certain alarm bells going off that were somewhat serious. So then in recent years things got a bit better so we were considering it. We both had settled down a bit over the years. So we might have been perhaps more ready for it. As for what you said, also I agree that marriage should be permanent but as for my life I have no clue when it comes to this whole concept of meeting your soulmate falling head over heels deep in love, getting married and living happily ever after. I just not even sure if that happens much anymore. Seems like a lot of men will hold out for a while, but then if nothings happening they end up settling in life. But then again my life is pretty messed up anyway so whole am I to say that it can't happen the way you say it should.
 
These are the reasons I've seen among my friends/family:

- Superficial relationships/an attraction based primarily upon looks. I don't mean to generalize, but much of the time, the woman is expected to maintain her appearance and guys slack off for whatever reason.
- Older guys sometimes date much younger women who are impressed by the things older guys can give them, but the women get older..and lonely... and realize that materialism isn't all it's cracked up to be...and they go looking for love.
- Some people don't take relationships seriously. They have the "oh well, if this doesn't work out, I'll just move on" syndrome. Or they live together rather than marrying, which makes it much easier for either party to just get up and walk out at any point. They don't really feel they have a commitment worth fighting for.
- God isn't in the relationship and neither party consulted the Lord as to whether the relationship was right or not.
 
This is the reason why I'll never get married. "Better to be alone than poorly accompanied."
 
Another reason (possibly just an excuse) I've heard women give is that before they married a guy he would do all sorts of activities with them, but once they married, the guy was only interested in tv, sports, movies and dinner....the couch potato thing.
 
Another reason (possibly just an excuse) I've heard women give is that before they married a guy he would do all sorts of activities with them, but once they married, the guy was only interested in tv, sports, movies and dinner....the couch potato thing.

Don't forget the extra weight they tend to put on too. :D

couch-potato.jpg
 
zero, you just put away my desires of marriage with that photo........thank you very much because i needed that on valentines day.....
 
Ugh! I've been dating someone for 4 months and he turned into that guy after one month! He's put on over 30 lbs and has no motivation except for to run home to watch TV. I hate TV! This is not working! It's very frustrating because his weight bothers him more than me and is affecting our relationship. :( The whole part about being equally yoked might be playing a part in it too.
 
Correction: WAS dating. I have to listen to what God wants in my life.