F
Femalelamb
Guest
Ok so I feel new to the church still sometimes. I mean I was introduced to Jesus in 2001. I was 31 years old. I wasn't one of those half way kind of people before Christ, and that's not changed about me. Often people love my fire at first... Then well, to be honest, they run... Or avoid me anyway.
Ok ok so to the point or points or random thoughts.
ok so I've now since come to know many different sides to the body of Christ. I also pray, and read the Bible for myself... As well as books and videos and sermons from different denominations. And to be frank I see holes in them all. Am I the only one out there searching for the real deal? A body of believers that do the word, believe it, and really seek Him? Each time I think I've found them, the flesh starts showing up... Mostly the fear of mans approval or rejection is at the root. Church fellowships are so worried about finances and attendance that the individual is left alone, ignored, and undiscipled. Or those tiny fellowships that are so far up in your buisness that no way any real prophetic word could come forth. Of course what is impossible for man, is still possible for God.
Then I find a place that seems to not care about the external like they do what God is saying to them, or what God is calling them to do. It's beautiful. And well frankly I began to be healed of the spinal injury by several such places even after I was told there was no cure. I'm med free and pain free after three years of agony. And do not think for a second that I'm not overwhelmed with gratitude every second I breath after almost dying several times, and every second I can lift my head without wanting to die. Words alone will never express my gratitude. If you doubt look up ARACHNOIDITIS and then learn about stage four. I have boxes of medical records, photos, and more. I won't post but will gladly share privately if someone really wants to know... Anyway back to the point...
I think healing is no big deal to God. Not meaning He doesn't care but that it's easy for Him to heal us. I think it's the hard heart that He softens and changes their entire being that is the real remarkable thing. Like how in the world does someone get healed from leperacy and not fall at His feet and worship Him! Yet in Luke 17 out of several who were healed only one returned to worship Him. Ok a little off target about that, but still... You'd be amazed at how many that knew me, saw me a crippled mess, and still don't give God credit for my healing.
Ok so not only has God healed me physically but He did a huge work in my heart and my mind. But I don't know or think anyone actually knows. Of course I'm still growing and changing and learning, but my heart is enlarged and my mind wiser, no doubt.
And yet, I get this sort of shrugging from Gods people. I'm even treated as if I'm crazy. And trust me I get enough of that from people who aren't trying to seek God. Ok I'm a big girl. I'm so over the need to be important to anyone. It's so obvious that most every single one of us are selfish... Even those seemingly doing something great for ministry sake can be so focused on their "calling" or the next big project that they can't see past their nose at people right beside them or in front of them. Hurtung people that could be an asset to the ministry even if they'd just take a moment and show them that they are accepted and welcomed as a valid part. Is this hitting home with anyone?
Maybe it's just me, but when I'm speaking to someone and they stop me in mid sentence and run off it rubs me the wrong way... And if it continues to happen regularly and I see several people treating others this way... And I hear members of Gods body speaking ugly about other members, even other denominations trash mouthing another, or leaders bashing leaders, and so on... It bothers me. And we'll, who do we think we are? How is this bringing unity? Who is little old me to say a word? I've been crushed and uninvolved for three years. I made some serious mistakes during that time and before about seeing what's wrong in the church and taking offense. I do not want to do that. Now I know that I can see what's wrong and yet not gossip or bash people but pray and then try to be a bridge. Try to treat others kindly as Jesus did when He was a man walking this Earth. He is our example. I know for certain, some of the ways I have been treated before I came to believe are just as awful as I was treated after. But also some sweet sweet kind people have been so good. And some, a very few actually became my friend and didn't just treat me like a ministry project. That was always nice... And to be honest, very rare. I still after all these years have very few close friends in the church. Not that I haven't tried. I'm 80% extroverted. I know how to make friends. But wow YOUD be amazed how I am treated when stricken with pain for three years, or changing fellowships. It's nuts!
When I first began to reach out in the Church (body of Christ) so full of zeal but not much wisdom, I became the doormat for many many users and takers. And well I would rather be a door mat then the one stomping on someone any day. Although a few have definitely been in my path, regretfully. Now, I ask God to show me wisdom and help me to do what's right in His eyes alone.
Its ts a tough road to walk. But Jesus did say it was a narrow way and few would go it.
Maybe I'm just writing this down so I know how to pray for the Body of Christ.
I mean, God is so kind and wise and always just waiting for us to turn and even just glance His way. And His mercy is readily available to each soul that is sorry for their wrongs. Shouldn't we do the same? But how in love can we say "No you can't keep sinning. It's killing you!"?
God enlarge our hearts and increase our wisdom. Open us up to admit when we are wrong doctrinally, or where we know we should have behaved differently... Give us the strength and wisdom where to make amends and where we need to repent. Also help us to see You rightly and to love you and others rightly.
And and for those prophets and leaders out there, help to be more sensitive to what You say, and not our thoughts, or the thoughts of the adversaries, but Your voice alone. Speak clearly, Lord. And when we miss the mark, show us, and teach us how to be upfront with one another and to apologize and to treat all others better than ourselves while not neglecting time with You or our families. May we truly be eternally minded for we know this world is passing away every second. Reveal what You really did on th cross to Your people. Teach us to trust your sovereignty no matter what. Convict our hearts where we have hardened and show us the way everlasting. In Jesus mighty name I pray for every part of Gods body. Help us to walk in love that we are not clanging symbols roaming aimlessly on this Earth.
http://youtu.be/hJaFszxOWHY
Ok ok so to the point or points or random thoughts.
ok so I've now since come to know many different sides to the body of Christ. I also pray, and read the Bible for myself... As well as books and videos and sermons from different denominations. And to be frank I see holes in them all. Am I the only one out there searching for the real deal? A body of believers that do the word, believe it, and really seek Him? Each time I think I've found them, the flesh starts showing up... Mostly the fear of mans approval or rejection is at the root. Church fellowships are so worried about finances and attendance that the individual is left alone, ignored, and undiscipled. Or those tiny fellowships that are so far up in your buisness that no way any real prophetic word could come forth. Of course what is impossible for man, is still possible for God.
Then I find a place that seems to not care about the external like they do what God is saying to them, or what God is calling them to do. It's beautiful. And well frankly I began to be healed of the spinal injury by several such places even after I was told there was no cure. I'm med free and pain free after three years of agony. And do not think for a second that I'm not overwhelmed with gratitude every second I breath after almost dying several times, and every second I can lift my head without wanting to die. Words alone will never express my gratitude. If you doubt look up ARACHNOIDITIS and then learn about stage four. I have boxes of medical records, photos, and more. I won't post but will gladly share privately if someone really wants to know... Anyway back to the point...
I think healing is no big deal to God. Not meaning He doesn't care but that it's easy for Him to heal us. I think it's the hard heart that He softens and changes their entire being that is the real remarkable thing. Like how in the world does someone get healed from leperacy and not fall at His feet and worship Him! Yet in Luke 17 out of several who were healed only one returned to worship Him. Ok a little off target about that, but still... You'd be amazed at how many that knew me, saw me a crippled mess, and still don't give God credit for my healing.
Ok so not only has God healed me physically but He did a huge work in my heart and my mind. But I don't know or think anyone actually knows. Of course I'm still growing and changing and learning, but my heart is enlarged and my mind wiser, no doubt.
And yet, I get this sort of shrugging from Gods people. I'm even treated as if I'm crazy. And trust me I get enough of that from people who aren't trying to seek God. Ok I'm a big girl. I'm so over the need to be important to anyone. It's so obvious that most every single one of us are selfish... Even those seemingly doing something great for ministry sake can be so focused on their "calling" or the next big project that they can't see past their nose at people right beside them or in front of them. Hurtung people that could be an asset to the ministry even if they'd just take a moment and show them that they are accepted and welcomed as a valid part. Is this hitting home with anyone?
Maybe it's just me, but when I'm speaking to someone and they stop me in mid sentence and run off it rubs me the wrong way... And if it continues to happen regularly and I see several people treating others this way... And I hear members of Gods body speaking ugly about other members, even other denominations trash mouthing another, or leaders bashing leaders, and so on... It bothers me. And we'll, who do we think we are? How is this bringing unity? Who is little old me to say a word? I've been crushed and uninvolved for three years. I made some serious mistakes during that time and before about seeing what's wrong in the church and taking offense. I do not want to do that. Now I know that I can see what's wrong and yet not gossip or bash people but pray and then try to be a bridge. Try to treat others kindly as Jesus did when He was a man walking this Earth. He is our example. I know for certain, some of the ways I have been treated before I came to believe are just as awful as I was treated after. But also some sweet sweet kind people have been so good. And some, a very few actually became my friend and didn't just treat me like a ministry project. That was always nice... And to be honest, very rare. I still after all these years have very few close friends in the church. Not that I haven't tried. I'm 80% extroverted. I know how to make friends. But wow YOUD be amazed how I am treated when stricken with pain for three years, or changing fellowships. It's nuts!
When I first began to reach out in the Church (body of Christ) so full of zeal but not much wisdom, I became the doormat for many many users and takers. And well I would rather be a door mat then the one stomping on someone any day. Although a few have definitely been in my path, regretfully. Now, I ask God to show me wisdom and help me to do what's right in His eyes alone.
Its ts a tough road to walk. But Jesus did say it was a narrow way and few would go it.
Maybe I'm just writing this down so I know how to pray for the Body of Christ.
I mean, God is so kind and wise and always just waiting for us to turn and even just glance His way. And His mercy is readily available to each soul that is sorry for their wrongs. Shouldn't we do the same? But how in love can we say "No you can't keep sinning. It's killing you!"?
God enlarge our hearts and increase our wisdom. Open us up to admit when we are wrong doctrinally, or where we know we should have behaved differently... Give us the strength and wisdom where to make amends and where we need to repent. Also help us to see You rightly and to love you and others rightly.
And and for those prophets and leaders out there, help to be more sensitive to what You say, and not our thoughts, or the thoughts of the adversaries, but Your voice alone. Speak clearly, Lord. And when we miss the mark, show us, and teach us how to be upfront with one another and to apologize and to treat all others better than ourselves while not neglecting time with You or our families. May we truly be eternally minded for we know this world is passing away every second. Reveal what You really did on th cross to Your people. Teach us to trust your sovereignty no matter what. Convict our hearts where we have hardened and show us the way everlasting. In Jesus mighty name I pray for every part of Gods body. Help us to walk in love that we are not clanging symbols roaming aimlessly on this Earth.
http://youtu.be/hJaFszxOWHY