The Dance

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Jullianna

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Being a musician and dancer as a hobby, I tend to relate most things in life to one or the other, so there is something that I like to call "The Dance". The Dance is when a guy conveys the message that he's interested in you, you respond in kind, he acknowledges, and The Dance becomes more bold until it blooms into a relationship - goes from a minuet to a tango. What frustrates me is this:

The Dance begins: Okay, you think he's interested.
You respond in kind.
He acknowledges and becomes a bit more bold.
So, you do the same..
He steps off the dance floor.
You feel like a moron.

Sometime later, he dances back your way.
You hesitantly respond.
He dances a little longer this time.
You think, okay, something must have happened before so give him another chance.
He dances away again.

Sometime later, he dances back your way.
You sit this one out.
He becomes frustrated with you.
You're interested, but would rather dance with someone who will be a more stable partner. You can't tango by yourself.

Does this ever happen to anyone else? What causes it? How do you deal with it?
 
"All is fair in love and war..."

If it was easy to know what the other is thinking, what good would that be? It's the fight in the unknown that makes it worthwhile.

I'd be more interested to know what you'd do when he steps on your foot. Again.
 
Perhaps he values your sanity, can see how it will play out and wants to spare you from himself. Perhaps, it is merely the idea of him that keeps you waiting for him on the dance floor.

Perhaps it is, "Beyond his control."
 
Jullianna said:
Being a musician and dancer as a hobby, I tend to relate most things in life to one or the other, so there is something that I like to call "The Dance". The Dance is when a guy conveys the message that he's interested in you, you respond in kind, he acknowledges, and The Dance becomes more bold until it blooms into a relationship - goes from a minuet to a tango. What frustrates me is this:

The Dance begins: Okay, you think he's interested.
You respond in kind.
He acknowledges and becomes a bit more bold.
So, you do the same..
He steps off the dance floor.
You feel like a moron.

Sometime later, he dances back your way.
You hesitantly respond.
He dances a little longer this time.
You think, okay, something must have happened before so give him another chance.
He dances away again.

Sometime later, he dances back your way.
You sit this one out.
He becomes frustrated with you.
You're interested, but would rather dance with someone who will be a more stable partner. You can't tango by yourself.

Does this ever happen to anyone else? What causes it? How do you deal with it?
Click to expand...


Two rules i go by

If he walks away the first time, thats it. He might as well stay away.
and
Never eat shredded wheat.

You cant let someone run all over you like that.
 
"All is fair in love and war..."

If it was easy to know what the other is thinking, what good would that be? It's the fight in the unknown that makes it worthwhile.


Hmmm...so....do you grab him by the shirt and say, HEY! Get back here??? :)

I'd be more interested to know what you'd do when he steps on your foot. Again.

Buy him softer soled shoes.
 
Liamson said:
Perhaps he values your sanity, can see how it will play out and wants to spare you from himself. Perhaps, it is merely the idea of him that keeps you waiting for him on the dance floor.

Perhaps it is, "Beyond his control."
Click to expand...


What if some things are worth the risk? The road less traveled is what it is, but it can be awesome for the time you're there, and you never know til you take the first step.
 
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
Two rules i go by:D

If he walks away the first time, thats it. He might as well stay away.
and
Never eat shredded wheat.

You cant let someone run all over you like that.
Click to expand...

I guess that's why I usually just sit it out at that point...*sigh*

And thanks for the shredded wheat warning :D

Seems like things like this happen to all of us. The one you want to dance with doesn't ask or doesn't finish, so we end up dancing with others who ask or cut in, then we decide we'd rather just sit it out for a season. *shrugs*
 
Jullianna said:
I guess that's why I usually just sit it out at that point...*sigh*

And thanks for the shredded wheat warning :D

Seems like things like this happen to all of us. The one you want to dance with doesn't ask or doesn't finish, so we end up dancing with others who ask or cut in, then we decide we'd rather just sit it out for a season. *shrugs*
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ah i can really sympathize with you on this.
 
I dance like a cricket that has had redbull. This explains my singleness in one sentence.
 
man i thought this was going to be a thread on the garth brooks song. and what if the guy is just terrible at dancing, or likes a lot of alone time?
 
Megatron said:
man i thought this was going to be a thread on the garth brooks song.

The Garth Brooks song = best break up song EVER.

and what if the guy is just terrible at dancing, or likes a lot of alone time?
Click to expand...

I tell my students: practice, practice, practice

Alone time is good
 
Thanks for your input y'all :)

*tears up pale pink country club issued wallflower dance card, picks up a "Not Afraid to Dance Close to the Fire Card", and writes "BRING IT!" at the top.*
 
Jullianna said:
"All is fair in love and war..."

If it was easy to know what the other is thinking, what good would that be? It's the fight in the unknown that makes it worthwhile.


Hmmm...so....do you grab him by the shirt and say, HEY! Get back here??? :)

 I'd be more interested to know what you'd do when he steps on your foot. Again.

Buy him softer soled shoes.
Click to expand...

Grab him by the shirt? Nope. He might think you're just adjusting his wardrobe.
Grab him by the ears. The message will be clear.

A woman's answer to the problem of a guy not knowing how to dance and/or being clumsy is to go shoe shopping? Figures. ~rolls eyes~
 
NukePooch said:
Grab him by the shirt? Nope. He might think you're just adjusting his wardrobe.
Grab him by the ears. The message will be clear.

A woman's answer to the problem of a guy not knowing how to dance and/or being clumsy is to go shoe shopping? Figures. ~rolls eyes~
Click to expand...

We never pass up an opportunity to shoe shop :)
 
I never had to "dance" like this. It was either a clean breakup or the dates got fewer and farther in between until we no longer kept in touch. Never had anyone try to get back together and I never tried to get back together with any of them. I always thought that if it doesn't work out, it just wasn't mean to be and thats it.
 
zeroturbulence said:
I never had to "dance" like this. It was either a clean breakup or the dates got fewer and farther in between until we no longer kept in touch. Never had anyone try to get back together and I never tried to get back together with any of them. I always thought that if it doesn't work out, it just wasn't mean to be and thats it.
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I think Jullianna meant more of the beginning, not necessarily the end...the whole 'he loves me, he loves me not' thing.
 
Exactly, Nuke. :)

Maybe if the dance looked a little more like this there would be fewer understandings. hahaha

(I know I'm sooo gonna take heat for this, but..then again...never stopped me before ;) )
 

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Jullianna said:
Exactly, Nuke. :)

Maybe if the dance looked a little more like this there would be fewer understandings. hahaha

(I know I'm sooo gonna take heat for this, but..then again...never stopped me before ;) )
Click to expand...

Well...if it was a redhead woman, the roles would probably be reversed...
 
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