B
brianna123
Guest
So this can make a bit more scence, I came from a some what rough background. my mother was a very hard working woman and in more of my childhood year wasnt around so much cause she always worked. so my dad pretty much raised me.
Now being the oldest of me and my sister was hard enough I was blamed for everything. As my sister got a bit older I had began to relize that I was treated diffrently then she. My father began to deny me and physically abuse me. To me I thought it was normal since i hadnt heard others really talk about it. when i got to be about 12 and a half 13 yrs old i had relized my father had a drug problem that my mother was unaware of. and in time I dont really recall how but I began to drink and smoke marijuana with him, to me it seemed cool cause i knew i wouldnt get into trouble. well as one startswith drugs i got mixed into gangs and boys. i stopped playing sports and grades began to drop. after about 6 months of me going through this transformation, my mother was diagnosed with ovarion and cervical cancer (she was only 32) She soon had to stop work and go to a university hospital about 6 hours away from where we resided. She would be gone for a week and be home with us on the weekend.
well i remember this so vividly. I had gotton into her meds to see what kind she had had. and since i had heard alot about pain killers i thought i would try some of whatever she had. I came across morphine bottles and oxycodones, and not knowing to much about the pills, i took a FEW of each and swollowed them, after a little while i really felt it. I slept all day and all night. I woke up and took some more. the feeling i felt was at the time i guess a good feeling. like i said I knew very little of what i was doing.
HERE IS WHERE IT ALL BEGINS MY JOURNEY TO A PLACE I NEVER WANT TO SEE AGAIN...
from what seemed to be I was standing in the corner of my bedroom, I remember looking all around feeling awful. not in pain but a sadness a bit of confussion. I felt a scence of i knew what was going on but that i also had no clue. i felt a sad pain in my chest like if i wanted to scream and cry...like if i just wanted to die! at that very oment of me feeling this my bedroom door flung open and i had seen my dad walk in the room saying Brianna get up your mom is sick and we have to take care of her. I then looked at the bed and seen my body laying ther. To what i thought was a dream was real. my father repeated himself and i didnt respond, he shook me and nothing. i could tell by the look in his face that he got worried so he slapped my back and there was still no response. after that i remeber seeing my dad and mom crying and my sister screaming and watching parametics take my body away. I remember seeing about 10 cop cars in my street where i lived cause they had pronounced me dead. It was an officailly a crime scene. the next thing i know i woke up to my mom and dad staring at me in disbelief. i told them everything i had scene and felt, and they were stunned that i knew what happend in such detail cause i was..well dead!
From that moment on I knew god loved me. he wants me in his promise and in his land. he showed me a minor feeling of what hell is like and it was awfull. a feeling nobody wants to feel.
You feel like you know everything and nothing at the same time. so much sadness your hear wants to blow up and so much grieve that you litterally wish you would die.
if anyone reads this and has had a similar story i would really love to hear it
Now being the oldest of me and my sister was hard enough I was blamed for everything. As my sister got a bit older I had began to relize that I was treated diffrently then she. My father began to deny me and physically abuse me. To me I thought it was normal since i hadnt heard others really talk about it. when i got to be about 12 and a half 13 yrs old i had relized my father had a drug problem that my mother was unaware of. and in time I dont really recall how but I began to drink and smoke marijuana with him, to me it seemed cool cause i knew i wouldnt get into trouble. well as one startswith drugs i got mixed into gangs and boys. i stopped playing sports and grades began to drop. after about 6 months of me going through this transformation, my mother was diagnosed with ovarion and cervical cancer (she was only 32) She soon had to stop work and go to a university hospital about 6 hours away from where we resided. She would be gone for a week and be home with us on the weekend.
well i remember this so vividly. I had gotton into her meds to see what kind she had had. and since i had heard alot about pain killers i thought i would try some of whatever she had. I came across morphine bottles and oxycodones, and not knowing to much about the pills, i took a FEW of each and swollowed them, after a little while i really felt it. I slept all day and all night. I woke up and took some more. the feeling i felt was at the time i guess a good feeling. like i said I knew very little of what i was doing.
HERE IS WHERE IT ALL BEGINS MY JOURNEY TO A PLACE I NEVER WANT TO SEE AGAIN...
from what seemed to be I was standing in the corner of my bedroom, I remember looking all around feeling awful. not in pain but a sadness a bit of confussion. I felt a scence of i knew what was going on but that i also had no clue. i felt a sad pain in my chest like if i wanted to scream and cry...like if i just wanted to die! at that very oment of me feeling this my bedroom door flung open and i had seen my dad walk in the room saying Brianna get up your mom is sick and we have to take care of her. I then looked at the bed and seen my body laying ther. To what i thought was a dream was real. my father repeated himself and i didnt respond, he shook me and nothing. i could tell by the look in his face that he got worried so he slapped my back and there was still no response. after that i remeber seeing my dad and mom crying and my sister screaming and watching parametics take my body away. I remember seeing about 10 cop cars in my street where i lived cause they had pronounced me dead. It was an officailly a crime scene. the next thing i know i woke up to my mom and dad staring at me in disbelief. i told them everything i had scene and felt, and they were stunned that i knew what happend in such detail cause i was..well dead!
From that moment on I knew god loved me. he wants me in his promise and in his land. he showed me a minor feeling of what hell is like and it was awfull. a feeling nobody wants to feel.
You feel like you know everything and nothing at the same time. so much sadness your hear wants to blow up and so much grieve that you litterally wish you would die.
if anyone reads this and has had a similar story i would really love to hear it
