Share an office with someone for very long and you begin to develop a sense for the person. Jenny and I had shared an office for nearly two years, but it didn’t take very long for one thing to become apparent – Jenny was a hugger. I was not. I would sooner get a root canal than initiate a hug. I’ll gladly lend you a hand, pay you a compliment, or hang out with you to show I care, but I was not a hugger.
One morning while I was working on paperwork, I looked over at Jenny sitting at her desk working as usual. One thing though stood out, and it threw me off so much that I couldn’t focus on what I was doing. Jenny was quiet, her head down with her shoulders hunched over. Jenny was normally vibrant, happy, and full of life. The woman sitting across from me was acting markedly different. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew something was wrong.
I prayed that one of the other women who worked with us would come into our office, pick up on Jenny’s demeanor and be able to help. I will be the first to admit most women are more adept at meeting the emotional needs of those around them. However no one came into our office. It hurt to sit there and watch the sadness that seemed to be overtaking her. I asked if she was okay, and of course, as most of us do, she said she was fine. I tried to summon some great motivational words by Ziglar or Campolo to tell her, but they fell on deaf ears.
As I sat there one thought would not leave me. I thought, “At least go over there and just put your hand on her shoulder to let her know you’re here if she needs anything.” A few minutes passed as I tried to work up the courage to simply get up out of my chair and walk over to her. There was only about six feet between our two desks, but for me it felt like the green mile.
As I reached her desk, I began to reach my hand out to her shoulder. The most unexpected and transformative thing happened the moment my fingers touched Jenny’s shoulder. She whirled around in her chair and leaped into my arms. At that moment the tears began to flow as she shared the hurts she was experiencing. I just stood there, holding my friend, because that’s what she needed.
At times I can be good with words, but none would have worked that day. Jenny needed to know she was safe and loved, and the only way she was going to feel that was from a loving touch. If I have learned anything it is this, if you want to show someone you care – step out of your comfort zone. After all, it’s not about you.
One morning while I was working on paperwork, I looked over at Jenny sitting at her desk working as usual. One thing though stood out, and it threw me off so much that I couldn’t focus on what I was doing. Jenny was quiet, her head down with her shoulders hunched over. Jenny was normally vibrant, happy, and full of life. The woman sitting across from me was acting markedly different. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew something was wrong.
I prayed that one of the other women who worked with us would come into our office, pick up on Jenny’s demeanor and be able to help. I will be the first to admit most women are more adept at meeting the emotional needs of those around them. However no one came into our office. It hurt to sit there and watch the sadness that seemed to be overtaking her. I asked if she was okay, and of course, as most of us do, she said she was fine. I tried to summon some great motivational words by Ziglar or Campolo to tell her, but they fell on deaf ears.
As I sat there one thought would not leave me. I thought, “At least go over there and just put your hand on her shoulder to let her know you’re here if she needs anything.” A few minutes passed as I tried to work up the courage to simply get up out of my chair and walk over to her. There was only about six feet between our two desks, but for me it felt like the green mile.
As I reached her desk, I began to reach my hand out to her shoulder. The most unexpected and transformative thing happened the moment my fingers touched Jenny’s shoulder. She whirled around in her chair and leaped into my arms. At that moment the tears began to flow as she shared the hurts she was experiencing. I just stood there, holding my friend, because that’s what she needed.
At times I can be good with words, but none would have worked that day. Jenny needed to know she was safe and loved, and the only way she was going to feel that was from a loving touch. If I have learned anything it is this, if you want to show someone you care – step out of your comfort zone. After all, it’s not about you.
