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An excerpt from my post in this thread: http://christianchat.com/christian-...t-do-guys-like-about-ladies-2.html#post615472
"Personally, I don't believe in 'the one'. I believe that God will place certain men /women in our lives that we could potentially grow to love. However, it is our free will to choose which man/woman we want. (This of course, would cancel out the idea of 'love at first sight' as well). Of course, growing to love someone has to start somewhere (initial attraction), but many people don't get beyond that. The only way to grow to love someone is to spend time with him or her through thick and thin. Once in love, two people then need to ask the Holy Spirit to bless the union between the two- and they shall become one."
"Personally, I don't believe in 'the one'. I believe that God will place certain men /women in our lives that we could potentially grow to love. However, it is our free will to choose which man/woman we want. (This of course, would cancel out the idea of 'love at first sight' as well). Of course, growing to love someone has to start somewhere (initial attraction), but many people don't get beyond that. The only way to grow to love someone is to spend time with him or her through thick and thin. Once in love, two people then need to ask the Holy Spirit to bless the union between the two- and they shall become one."
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GreenNnice
Guest
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God has plans for all of us and He can lead the horse to water but He won't make that horse drink. Notice I didn't say 'can't ' . God allows us to make our own decisiones, good and bad, and, its fine when we miss 'watering' opportunities with a girl He places in our path to ask out. Good news here is that IF we miss this 'one' opportunity God still keeps it going . Our faith in Him, let's add, and, personal relationship with Him, will help us be attuned for some one for us that otherwise we might not notice, which is one more reason to do your best to live a God life, so to speak (can I use 'God' as an adjective?).
When your life is ONE with God, and, OH, i like that song by Keith Green to explain this, ' You are the one for me' song, think titled 'The One,' your life is ready for His one for you. You will know when, just follow His leading, sheep
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Siberian_Khatru
Guest
C
Crossfire
Guest
I completely agree. Here's my reply to your previous post also:
"...The way I see it, if both the male and the female are completely surrendered to God putting God first in all decisions, then if both are willing to completely surrender to one another thus putting the other person before themselves, it really doesn't matter how different those two people are things will work out because they both are working toward the same goal and neither will feel neglected or taken advantage of. Sure conflicts will arise however, conflicts will arise in any relationship in due time. I believe this to be a more mature approach to relationships.
However, if a person is looking for the perfect male or female who meets all of their personal wants and needs, not only is this a sign of immaturity, it's also a sign of self centeredness. The last thing this person needs is a relationship with another person, rather they should work on their relationship with the Lord that He might lead them into maturity."
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Catlynn
Guest
While I agree that two people completely surrendered to Christ CAN make a marriage work, it doesn't mean they should. To me, the whole purpose of marriage is to better serve God and further His kingdom together than you could apart. What better person to do this with than "the one" that God has for us? Someone who values the things we value, who communicates in the same ways that we do and who not only loves God but has the same calling on their life as us? It's not about US in the slightest. It's about God and furthering His kingdom! If He is perfect, why wouldn't He want our spouse and marriage to be perfect as well?
I'm not saying look for the superficial, but rather look for God. Learn to hear His voice and recognize when He's doing something. Like Liamson said, He'll make it obvious.
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Crossfire
Guest
While I agree that two people completely surrendered to Christ CAN make a marriage work, it doesn't mean they should. To me, the whole purpose of marriage is to better serve God and further His kingdom together than you could apart. What better person to do this with than "the one" that God has for us? Someone who values the things we value, who communicates in the same ways that we do and who not only loves God but has the same calling on their life as us? It's not about US in the slightest. It's about God and furthering His kingdom! If He is perfect, why wouldn't He want our spouse and marriage to be perfect as well?
I'm not saying look for the superficial, but rather look for God. Learn to hear His voice and recognize when He's doing something. Like Liamson said, He'll make it obvious.
Very good point and I do agree. I heard a wise minister once say:
'If you really want to be evenly yoked then you need to run after God just as hard and as fast as you possible can. Once you reach full speed, take a look around you. The person you are meant to marry is not the person in front of you or the person behind you but rather the person right beside of you who is able to match you stride for stride."
To make it simple, pursue God whole heartedly and His purpose for your life. More than likely you'll meet 'the one' along the way seeing they share a simular calling (or at least believe in your calling and are willing to support you 100%).
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GreenNnice
Guest
Most excellently said. You wouldn't't happen to be Bill or Ted ?
While I agree that two people completely surrendered to Christ CAN make a marriage work, it doesn't mean they should. To me, the whole purpose of marriage is to better serve God and further His kingdom together than you could apart. What better person to do this with than "the one" that God has for us? Someone who values the things we value, who communicates in the same ways that we do and who not only loves God but has the same calling on their life as us? It's not about US in the slightest. It's about God and furthering His kingdom! If He is perfect, why wouldn't He want our spouse and marriage to be perfect as well?
I'm not saying look for the superficial, but rather look for God. Learn to hear His voice and recognize when He's doing something. Like Liamson said, He'll make it obvious.
Catty!
Just very well said. Yes, our main purpose on Earth is not to procreate, not to nurture, even though it's how we are wired, our most sole purpose is to WIN others' souls to Christ. God gives us kids, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife to further Kingdom things, win the lost to Christ . That is WHY you , me, everybody., should WAIT for His blessing of one for us and our FAITH and RELATIONSHIP in Christ will carry us to that next stage/level of our life
Your last name wouldn't happen to be 'confucius,' catty ?
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This is good, I've heard it before but can't remember from where, crossfyre.
Reminds me of Tommy Tenney, who wrote bestseller, The God Chasers.
I see it like this: We don't just run as fast as we can and see which girl stays with us; we run at a regular pace and see which girl God brings beside us. If we run as fast as we can, I see that as being out of control.
But crossfyre, I like this concept of the minister, it is a point made wisely, because we should be equally yoked. I think, to a degree, and, the Lord leads, but this applies to work, lifestyle likes, income, intelligence, denomination, and, of course, religion.
I hope that does not make me seem to picky . The Lord leads and this scenario is the rule for God finding us some ONE and we SEEING that person as attractive. There are exceptions to these rules, God may very well put a prince and a pauper together. Just all depends on His leading of your life personally as you
run
with/after
Him.
J
Jullianna
Guest
I don't really know that there is only one person in this world with whom I could built a strong, godly marriage, but I DO know that there are those who might even be extremely devout christians with whom it would be far more difficult than with others.
Serving God as a team is far easier if we wait for the person who possesses the personality and gifts that God joins together with our own to do an awesome work in our lives. If we are bogged down by poor communication abilities, conflicting expectations of one another, unmatched skill sets, extreme differences of opinion regarding matters of faith, raising children, etc., it can be VERY distracting, time consuming and frustrating.
I look at this sort of as I do divorce and other matters, there is the PERFECT will of God and the PERMISSABLE will of God. Jesus said in Mark 10:
1 Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them.
2 Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
3 “What did Moses command you?” he replied.
4 They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”
5 “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. 6 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 10 When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 11 He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
So...yeah...we can MAKE DO with less than God wants for us if we don't want to wait and settle for less. I'd rather wait for God's PERFECT will for my life. But that's just me... I married one of God's best the first time around, so I know they're out there and worth waiting for.
How will you know them? They'll knock you off of your feet and you won't have the slightest interest in anyone else.
Serving God as a team is far easier if we wait for the person who possesses the personality and gifts that God joins together with our own to do an awesome work in our lives. If we are bogged down by poor communication abilities, conflicting expectations of one another, unmatched skill sets, extreme differences of opinion regarding matters of faith, raising children, etc., it can be VERY distracting, time consuming and frustrating.
I look at this sort of as I do divorce and other matters, there is the PERFECT will of God and the PERMISSABLE will of God. Jesus said in Mark 10:
1 Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them.
2 Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
3 “What did Moses command you?” he replied.
4 They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”
5 “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. 6 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ 7 ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 10 When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 11 He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
So...yeah...we can MAKE DO with less than God wants for us if we don't want to wait and settle for less. I'd rather wait for God's PERFECT will for my life. But that's just me... I married one of God's best the first time around, so I know they're out there and worth waiting for.
How will you know them? They'll knock you off of your feet and you won't have the slightest interest in anyone else.
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Liz01
Guest
I agree with you Julliana, i think that in life we may have more than one person to marry us, according with bible in some situations we can marry more than once. Besides that I think that there are a lot of ppl that maybe have the characteristics that match with us and what put together a couple is their way to the same goal (God) so i think that we should not rush into a relationship as you say but wait to God put that person in our lives.
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Crossfire
Guest
I couldn't agree more. The hardest part for me has been trying to find 'an equal'. By equal I don't mean someone just as educated or outgoing or has the exact same interests as myself but rather someone who shares my passion for people and understands my enthusiasm for ministry.
I often joke about 'where are all the Catherine Booths?' and while it would be awesome to meet someone who would to be by my side every step of the way, I'd be more than happy with someone who loved God first and foremost and would be a dedicated wife and mother (if need be) who wouldn't be upset or feel insecure if I were asked to evangelize out of town for a few days.
Unfortunately, most of the women I have met in church roughly my age (give or take a few years) either try to dominate or are barely spiritual at all. Either way, I would most likely feel smothered.
J
